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31 December 2010 @ 12:51 am
fic: the minor fall, the major lift  
Title: the minor fall, the major lift
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Nothing serious, a little off course since I'd seen about ten episodes then.
Pairing: Damon/Elena
Summary: The snapshot of an almost relationship,
Author's Notes: WHAT AM I DOING YOU GUYS? I've seen twenty-five episodes in total in FIVE days. And I have exams in two days, oh joy. But how much do I love them? Insanely much, like everything-will-be-right-in-the-world-if-they-just- get-together much. Title from Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen (although I prefer the Jeff Buckley version really)

-

It hits her at the most ridiculous moment. He deliberately crashes into her in the middle of the kitchen (which he's not supposed to be in, in any case) and she feels her shoulder bang into muscle, and as he smirks down at her and pretends innocence, she thinks something like –oh. And then she thinks it's all very inconvenient. Which is the stupidest, most absurd thought in all the world and could someone just please erase the last few minutes from the melodrama that is her life?

-

She blames Bree ("he's good in the sack, inn' he?"). She blames Jenna ("he's ridiculously hot"). But mostly she blames those stupid romance novels with their stupid, dashing, evil lead male protagonists who're changed by the love of the damsel-in-distress female protagonist ("doesn't it always come down to the love of a woman?") She's not going to be that girl. He's not the fictional figment of someone's imagination, he murders people in cold blood and she hated him for it. Hates him for it. 'Hates'. As in present tense. Definitely very much present tense.

-

That night in Georgia she gets drunk. Like out-of-her mind, who-am-I, dancing-on-tables, philosophizing-about-the-purpose-of-life drunk. It's only the second time in her life, after the fiasco with Matt, but her boyfriend apparently only slept with her because she looks like his hundred-and-fifty year old ex, so she thinks she's entitled. He just looks on, and mentions something about how he won't even need compulsion, and that her getting drunk is like a monopoly 'get out of jail' free card to seduction. She ponders that for a moment, in between all the wonderings about universe and God and how her hair looks horrible in the lighting- "Have you ever wanted to kiss me because I look like Katherine?"

He looks startled for a second, and she's pleased for some reason that her addled brain isn't going to search for, but then he's back to his 'man about town' smirk, "you're a girl, I would kiss you even if you didn't look like Katherine."

Later, much later, when she's saved his life and her head's killing her, she thinks she might, just might have kissed him back if he'd tried. She was drunk enough for it. He didn't though.

-

He gets her a vibrator for a birthday. Stefan's at his throat in a second and he doesn't even fight back because he's too busy laughing at the expression on her face. And it's exactly like him- crude, embarrassing, and entirely too personal. And afterwards when he's sitting on her bed, waiting for all the Stefan-inflicted wounds to heal, he leans closer, his eyes half shut in that way they get when he's flirting and says he'd like to think of her making good use of his gift. She hits him on the arm then, hard, and pretends like it'll hurt him, pretends like she didn't just think about—just pretends.

-

She loves Stefan. She really, really does. And because she's seventeen, she's made hearts in her journal with their initials in it. And when he's around she doesn't- can't- think of anyone else. But these days she thinks about Damon more. He just falls in her thoughts when she's not paying attention, slips through the cracks when she's not guarding them. And mostly it's about how he's a completely annoying jackass and how much better her life would be if he wasn't in it and how he and Stefan couldn't possibly, actually be related. But sometimes she thinks about him and he's saying something to her in that way he always says things to her- with the half-amused hidden affection, and she thinks something like maybe. (Except that's probably 'maybe he's a Satan incarnate' or 'maybe he should be locked up'. And no one can prove otherwise, so there.)

-

She catches him staring at her sometime. Like he was just glancing and forgot to look away, and she knows it's because she looks so much like Katherine, and just for a second that's already passed, she's jealous. Fiercely jealous of this woman who's been trapped in a tomb for over a hundred years, whom she's never met, probably never will meet. And in that moment she thinks she'd like to be loved like that. With that half-wild desperation that he loves Katherine. Like he's always loved Katherine. She doesn't write that in her diary though.

 
 
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
 
 
crimson_kiss17crimson_kiss17 on December 30th, 2010 11:13 pm (UTC)
He gets her a vibrator for a birthday. Stefan’s at his throat in a second and he doesn’t even fight back because he’s too busy laughing at the expression on her face.
---------
Literally fell to the floor in hysterics. This was such an enjoyable read and I can't but attempt to coerce you into writing a sequel. Anyway, well done.
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on December 31st, 2010 06:31 am (UTC)
Oh you can be sure, I'll be writing more, I adore these two! I HAVE NO RESTRAINT. Seriously, exam-time always brings about the worst in me, I'm all OH HAI THERE, NEW FANDOM. Not good :O Thank you so much :)
Traciestrangedazey on December 30th, 2010 11:20 pm (UTC)
That seemed so spot on as to the way she acted towards him, very nice work.

On another note, isn't the show addicting as hell? I was so hooked by mid-season last year. Welcome aboard!
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on December 31st, 2010 06:37 am (UTC)
By this time I've seen twenty-NINE episodes in five days, so addicted is an understatement now D: And in the later episodes, (WHY AM I STILL WATCHING, I HAVE EXAMS) when everything's going to hell- it's just so hard to believe- she hasn't even thought about the possibility? Therefore, fic. Thank you so much, I shall enjoy the ride!
Violet: vampires - i'll look after you.amoenavi on December 30th, 2010 11:26 pm (UTC)
Ahahah, you too?

Love it, love it, love it. Love the easy way you portay Elena's thoughts and her denial while still getting the point across.

Also,

He gets her a vibrator for a birthday. Stefan’s at his throat in a second and he doesn’t even fight back because he’s too busy laughing at the expression on her face. And it’s exactly like him- crude, embarrassing, and entirely too personal. And later when he’s sitting on her bed, waiting for all the Stefan-inflicted wounds to heal, he leans closer, his eyes half shut in that way they get when he’s flirting and says he’d like to think of her making good use of his gift. She hits him on the arm then, hard, and pretends like it’ll hurt him, pretends like she didn’t just think about—just pretends.

Please let this happen on the show sometime? Seriously, it's just too perfect. :)
damon_s_86damon_s_86 on December 31st, 2010 03:56 am (UTC)
yes please.
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on December 31st, 2010 06:43 am (UTC)
ME TOO MUCH, I'd say about now D: (Btw, your icon is so much love, I can barely stand to look at it). And now everything in their relationship seems to have gone to hell (although I HAVE spoiled myself for 'Rose', so I'm desperately waiting to get to 'that' scene!) and I'm all 'huh, I wrote the fic a day ago, and now it's OOC'. I haven't yet managed to figure out whether it's better to not have the couple get together and have all sorts of wonderfully angsty fandom shenanigans, or whether they should just FREAKING REALLY KISS ALREADY.
Thanks so much, glad you liked it :)
damon_s_86damon_s_86 on December 31st, 2010 12:33 pm (UTC)
I think we're very deprived to want that scene too much :p which we are.

I love my icon too. you're welcome to it if that is the one you mean :)
waltzmatildah: tvd: damon and elena black and whitewaltzmatildah on December 31st, 2010 02:00 am (UTC)
I really enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing.
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on December 31st, 2010 06:45 am (UTC)
Thanks a lot- I thought hard 'do I really want to post this' (since it's mostly about 600 words of randomness), and then took the leap of faith, haha :)
damon_s_86damon_s_86 on December 31st, 2010 03:55 am (UTC)
talk about being honest. you nailed it!
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on December 31st, 2010 06:47 am (UTC)
I'm glad you think so! Because I watched further and thought 'oh my god, my Elena's OOC now', but really apart from the one-true-love stuff, I just think it's sort of impossible that she hasn't EVER thought about it.
Thanks a lot :)
panna_niesmialapanna_niesmiala on December 31st, 2010 02:22 pm (UTC)
And she thinks she'd like to be loved like that. With that half-wild desperation that he loves Katherine. Like he’s always loved Katherine. She doesn’t write that in her diary though.
While reading this, I had a beaming bitter-sweet smile on my face, just radiating with it because it was so like she is suppossed to think of him. I've imagined it many episodes ago hence my eternal gratitiude you put the idea of it into words. It's insanely right for them, the brilliance of DE is in these words, period.

Vibrator as a birthday gift? Why I'm not having any troubles with imagining it? It is SO Damon! :D Perfection.
Such an enjoyable read but not only that, it has this bitter-sweet tone of something like regret, after all it's Elena's POV and she feels ashamed of having these feelings. And it is perfect. Gosh, it is so brilliant.
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on January 4th, 2011 09:33 am (UTC)
Exactly, if she felt this way she'd be ashamed of it! I think the whole problem with projecting the 'one true love' thing is that it closes ALL possibilities. As in, there are a lot of shows/movies where it's 'love' between two people but lots of ships can be explored- Gossip Girl for instance (I haven't seen it, but I'd read the books a long time ago!) explores every possible relationship, as does Community (if you watch that!) But here, it's like if Stefan kissed Katherine or Damon's feelings were reciprocated then it'd be 'wrong'. I don't think anything should have such fixed limits, really.
Thanks so much, glad you liked it :)
Miss Stacy: damon/elenaarysani on January 1st, 2011 03:11 am (UTC)
Adore the last part, because that is SO not the reason.

AND THE BIRTHDAY GIFT! I can just imagine him getting such a crack out of himself and his own shenanigans.
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on January 4th, 2011 09:35 am (UTC)
Damon in my mind is so much 'the eternal stud' like he him self said, haha. I love how he's supremely confident and pseudo-narcissistic and 'gets what he wants'. Although technically that's just the image, and seriously, I find it SO hard to believe that BOTH Katherine and Elena would prefer Stefan, wtf even?
Thanks!
Li: DE Save Kissesrunlilirun on January 2nd, 2011 07:32 am (UTC)
He gets her a vibrator for a birthday. Stefan’s at his throat in a second and he doesn’t even fight back because he’s too busy laughing at the expression on her face.

Ahh! Best. Gift. EVER! lol Ain't he a cheeky bastard!

...pretends like she didn’t just think about—-just pretends.

I like how you didn't even need to finish that sentence, I knew what you were referring to immediately.

And now I can't get Elena + vibrator out of my head. Thanks for that!

*waits patiently for a sequel*
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on January 4th, 2011 09:38 am (UTC)
Well said, haha, I love that- 'cheeky bastard'. I love that scene with Caroline, when he's reading one of the Twilight series, "You should come to the party with me", "Not if you're wearing that dress". He's such a bitch, aww.
I couldn't complete the sentence cuz then I have this fear of "BUT WOULD ELENA ACTUALLY SAY THAT TO HERSELF", so it's vague and random and all over the place. Thanks :)
Li: DE Save Kissesrunlilirun on January 6th, 2011 05:57 am (UTC)
Someone should make an icon of Damon with 'cheeky bastard' on it. :)

Oh yeah and he's a little drama queen sometimes, it's hilarious!

Elena's too chicken to think it, let alone say it outloud. lol
illuminanted: D&Eilluminanted on January 9th, 2011 06:11 pm (UTC)
This is sooo awesome! Thanks for writing! And TVD really does get you hooked, doesn't it? :D

And the part with the vibrator - LOL :D
youcallitwinter: ianyoucallitwinter on January 10th, 2011 08:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, by the rate I'm going 'hooked' is an understatement! Honestly, I'm doing the whole hi-jinx with videos and magazine articles and stuff. Also re-watching all the D/E moments.
-sigh-
Thanks, glad you liked it :)
illuminanted: D&Eilluminanted on January 10th, 2011 10:14 pm (UTC)
Haha, don't worry I do that, too. :D You'll get used to it. :P

And the fic is amazing! <3
jane_wanderlustjane_wanderlust on January 11th, 2011 04:11 pm (UTC)
This is amazing.
Seriously.
I love every part of this.
Because it's believable.

And so much lols -- the vibrator? Totally would happen. Whether or not the CW would air such a scene...meh. Eff it.

This is perfect.
Tangible, honest, perfect.
LOVE.
<3
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on January 12th, 2011 02:44 pm (UTC)
Haha, we do have this thing for 'believable' it seems! I'm so glad you think so, it makes me happy :D because since I don't have a story or plot or anything really, character is all I'm aiming at.
The vibrator thing just struck me, and I was all- oh man, Damon would do it. He's so...that guy.
Thank you so much, I appreciate it :)