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23 May 2011 @ 06:46 pm
[fic] it's a long way down (to the place where we started from)  
it's a long way down
vampire diaries | anna; damon/anna
pre-series | pg-13 | 1550 | oneshot
all she can think of is how her hair will be a frizzy mess tomorrow.



They all look when she sits down, orders a beer, anything. The wow, her parents really fucked her over sort of look. It’s not like she can compel an entire bar into believing she’s of age, the bartender alone will have to do. They’re welcome to think whatever they want as long as they don’t say it to her. Because then they’ll probably just have their necks snapped off and bodies drained of blood and that’ll be sort of sad.

Sometimes they approach her— single girl, obviously underage, sitting alone in that come-hither dress and probably massive issues, daddy didn’t love her enough, mommy wasn’t around too much, and so now she’s here, asking for it.

She goes with them anyway. Plays at innocence, looks at them with wide eyes, bites her lips just so, then sinks her teeth in, kills, sometimes lets live, whatever. She’s almost a goddess then.

Her mother was the real goddess; she’ll only ever almost be one.


-


They meet again, fifty miles south of nowhere.

"Kids running around ruin these places.” he says, “are you even old enough to pretend to have an ID?" and she curses herself because she didn't notice him sitting beside her. She's a vampire for fuck's sake, how on earth is she supposed to find her mother if she doesn't even have better reflexes than the sixteen year old she looks like? She needs to be faster than she was, stronger than she is.

She shrugs, she's older than him and he knows it; even if it doesn't show, even if it’ll never show, "Salvatore", she acknowledges.

"Annabelle, what a pleasure, how are you this fine night?"

There's one thing she's realized with absolute certainty in the almost-three-centuries of her life, Damon Salvatore is a jackass.

"Fine," she says and goes back to her drink. She feels his eyes on her, assessing her, taking in the clothes, the hair, so different from the girl she used to be, the girl he used to know. He doesn’t know her anymore.

"Oh, come on, Annabelle, don't you want to reminiscence about the good ol' days? Maybe share your existential crisis, talk about how times have changed?"

"No," she says briefly, "I want you to crawl back to whatever hole you crawled up from. I want to shove something hard and wooden through you. But what was that Rolling Stones song again?"

"Maybe you'll get what you need, instead, then." he's looking at her through half-lidded eyes.

She stays silent.

He shakes his head in mock sadness, "all that pent up emotion. Did you talk to your psychiatrist about me? Tell him that your undead mother’s stuck in some tomb because of my father? Cry about how you were in love with me and I betrayed you?"

She jerks her head up; because there’s no way in hell he knows that she—

He doesn’t, she can tell by his eyes. But then he’s looking at her closely, too closely with those goddamned eyes of his. And then he does.

“Well that’s an interesting turn of events,” he says, almost to himself.

She picks up her bag and gets up, leaving her dignity at the bar table. It wasn’t worth much anyway, just a few hundred years of being in love with the guy she hates.


-


He follows her, of course, because he’s a sadistic bastard.

“Really, Annabelle, is this any way to treat someone you’ve been pining for a century for? Wasn’t your mother around long enough to teach you better?”

And because there’s no one around, she has him by the neck against a tree. She barely reaches his throat and he’s smiling like he’s amused and she’d punch his face in if she could free a hand.

There’s nothing else now, it’s all the same, hate, lust, love, guilt, grief— hunger.

“Don’t you fucking dare mention my mother,” she says through gritted teeth, “I’m not Annabelle. Annabelle died a long time ago.” She doesn’t scar anymore.

He raises his hand in a gesture of defeat, she still wants to punch his face in, “calm down, kitten, retract your claws. We’ll start over. I’m Damon Salvatore and you are…?”

“Anna,” she says, doesn’t want to say, doesn’t know why she says, and leaves him.


-


He’s still behind her, through the rain and the night which is drawing out much too long. She can’t hear him, but that doesn’t matter, she can still feel him, her senses working overtime.

She stops, and seriously, through everything that’s happened, all she can think of is how her hair will be a frizzy mess by the next day. And hates him because he can do this to her. After two hundred and seventy seven years, he can still make her feel sixteen.

Sixteen and awkward and madly crushing on the eldest son of the house her mother’s friend lived in. Sixteen and stupid and writing long fantasies under the light of the gas lamps. Sixteen and far too old. Sixteen and much too young.

(And loves him because he can do this to her. After two hundred and seventy seven years he can still make her feel sixteen.)

She sits on a slab and watches water flow down the gutter, thinks it’s the metaphor for something; just doesn’t know what.

“What do you want, Damon,” she’s too tired to run now; she’s been tired since a century.

He slides down beside her, his expensive leather jacket will probably get ruined by the rain and it’ll serve him right.

“Nothing.” he says, and stares ahead like he knows what the gutter is a metaphor for. She remembers he always seemed to know everything.

They sit in silence; she fills it up with his mouth, his eyes, his skin. It’s weird because he’s right there but he’s still more real in her mind. And she realizes she’s missing him, desperately, more than she ever has. Now, when he’s close enough to touch. It’s odd.

“Where’s Stefan?” she asks conversationally, like they’d never stopped being who they used to be, puts her hand out to catch the raindrops, wishes she could still feel the cold. Wishes she could still feel.

He shrugs, “Don’t know, don’t care. Haven’t seen him in a long time. Probably brooding somewhere or working on his hero-hairdo or running around with that bitch of a girlfriend of his. Lexi whatsername.”

She turns to hide a smile because she knows a lot of things about Damon Salvatore and she’s sure he knows where Stefan is, even if Stefan himself doesn’t know it.

“Oh.”

It’s odd, this moment, because she’s imagined this so many times, playing in her head in an endless loop and now they’re both sitting together and she doesn’t know what to say. And then she thinks maybe he wants to talk. That all he wants to do is talk. Nobody listens. She's lived long enough to find that out.

She wasn’t in love with him. That would be ridiculous. But he’d always been there, and he was beautiful and she was just that shallow. He’s still that beautiful. She’s older though, wiser, deeper. Or good at feigning, anyway.

“We’ll get them back, you know,” he says abruptly, like he knows he’s being a sap and hates it because it doesn’t fit in with who he pretends to be most of the time, “Pearl. Katherine. All of them. Forever’s a long time, kid.”

She tightens her hold on her jacket, mimicking the clenching of her heart. He doesn’t know. Doesn’t know Katherine’s not in the tomb. That she never was in the tomb. That she hadn’t loved him enough to know he was lost. That she hadn’t loved him enough to come find him.

And she’s sorry. So sorry because she knows he’ll have to know some day. So sorry because they’re both stupid, dead and sitting out in a thunderstorm in love with people who’ve never wanted them. So sorry she could almost kiss him. Almost.

“Yeah,” she says, letting the quiet grow because they’re both never been good with words, but they’re good with silences, “we will.” She doesn’t add the maybe, possibly, never, oh god please. Doesn’t want to spoil this.

He gets up from the slab, and he’ll go away, of course, and maybe she’ll never see him again. Or maybe she will. Forever’s a long time, kid. Next time, she’ll be over him.

He hauls her up roughly, bending down with mock graciousness to kiss her hand. Her chest floods with tenderness, she doesn’t have that innocence anymore, she lost it in the dust and heat and blood and long drawn days and endless nights, but he won’t touch her because she’s still a child to him, she’s still sacred.

And then he’s looking down at her, smirking in a way that’s completely a new-Damon thing, and it's a little sad because she’ll never get to know whether this Damon is as worth her love as was a beautiful boy with his face she used to know a long, long time ago.

“Annabelle,” he says, tipping off an imaginary hat as he turns to leave and she watches him walk away, doesn't correct him. She’s Annabelle right now.
 
 
Gabby: delenagabby227 on May 23rd, 2011 02:35 pm (UTC)
Good fic. I really liked it. Is it just me or is the sexual tension between these two (in the fic) so thick you could cut it with a knife? Anyway, I really liked it.
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on May 23rd, 2011 03:52 pm (UTC)
Haha, is it? Thank you for reading it! I was pretty sure people would look at the pairing, go WTF and move on. :D
Gabby: ninagabby227 on May 23rd, 2011 04:59 pm (UTC)
Yeah, you don't see many Anna/Damon pairings, but I think that's one of the reasons I like it so much. It hasn't been done a million times, you know?
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on May 23rd, 2011 05:07 pm (UTC)
I suppose it s something similar that got me really interested in Damon/Caroline- DE had been done and done well so often, but that was a comparatively new territory to explore which is always fun!
the once and future fangirl: tvd katherine caroline reflectionmollivanders on May 23rd, 2011 06:05 pm (UTC)
this is actually really lovely; quiet and sad and desperate in many ways but very lovely.
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on May 23rd, 2011 06:32 pm (UTC)
Your icon is gorgeous! I'm just surprised people are actually bothering to read this, thank you :)
Liz: Damonlizwontcry on May 23rd, 2011 06:36 pm (UTC)
I have to say I wasn't sure about this pairing but I was sucked in by the title...that's from a Sarah Mclachlan song, right? I effing love her so much. So anyway. I love this, I love her desperation and I love his snarkiness. Thank you for sharing it with us. :)
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on May 23rd, 2011 06:52 pm (UTC)
It is from the Sarah Mclachlan song, she's so, so amazing! I wasn't sure what to say about the pairing either, but comment fic is fun, and tvd has that excellent quality about it that makes you want to explore. Thanks so much :)
unoshotunoshot on May 23rd, 2011 07:18 pm (UTC)
Well, obviously my whole plan was 'if I add her to my friend list she will post fic that I can then read instead of actually doing any work,' but man, that was some quick payoff. The scheme is working perfectly.

I don't know from Anna much, because I still need to catch up on a lot of season 1, but you make me want to know her, and also I am keen for all this ghost stuff.

like he knows he’s being a sap and hates it because it doesn’t fit in with who he pretends to be most of the time

Oh, yes, Damon to perfection -- it's so hard to get that balance right.
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on May 23rd, 2011 07:38 pm (UTC)
This seems to have all the ingredients of a mutual appreciation society, all I'm thinking of at the moment is- YOU BETTER HAVE WRITTEN MORE.

Anna was one of those characters that came in and was suddenly a fandom favorite, then they killed her off at the peak of her popularity and now she's, er, something. Ooh, you haven't seen a lot of S1? I envy you, the Damon/Elena moments in that one, just, they should have lasted forever and ever.

Thanks so much for randomly reading about a character you aren't even familiar with :D
katiebug78: TWW Toby katiebug78 on May 24th, 2011 09:30 am (UTC)
Anna fic! Yay. And I don't have an Anna icon to go with. boo... But awesome stuff...poor Anna. I did love her so much and this is an interesting combo...I never would have pictured it but you write it well - I kind of want to see an 1864 story about Anna's mad crush on him now. You've opened up a world of possibilities in my mind!

Awesome stuff!
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on May 24th, 2011 03:41 pm (UTC)
Haha, but the icon that you do have is so, so EPIC! I'm so glad you liked it, Anna such an interesting character to explore, and Damon's my favorite, I whore him out to everyone :D I'm glad she's (sort of) back, and I can't wait to see where it goes! Thanks so much <3
katiebug78: TWW Danny katiebug78 on May 25th, 2011 02:10 am (UTC)
heee - Toby is awesome, isn't he? And I love that icon...just imagining Toby's bafflement at being confronted with fanfic is endlessly amusing to me!

I think Anna is incredibly interesting - I loved her. I hated Vicki - I thought her character simply had no point on the show other than to be a pawn in the Jeremy/Tyler struggle and I was really happy to see her die (that's when I started to really love the show as opposed to merely enjoying it! When we traded Vicki for Alaric!) So I was mega-ticked to see her reappear at the end of 2.22, but that was totally mollified when we got a glimpse of Anna! I would be willing to put up with the return of Vicki if we got Anna back!!

Damon is infinitely whoreable, isn't he? He can go with just about anyone!!
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on May 25th, 2011 07:33 am (UTC)
In that way Caroline is pretty shippable for me (haha, Damon, I whore, Caroline, I ship :D) she seems to go with just about EVERYONE. It is amazing! And I get what you mean, I really didn't like Vicki either (although she was damn hot), and I was mildly surprised when they killed her off only cuz she'd been around since the Pilot and till then I did't know TVD was going to make a habit of killing awesome regulars off (JENNA :(() Wow, Tyler used to be such a jerk back then! And I wonder what exactly Vicki and Anna are and how long they're going to be in the show now!
Jennabrokenbell on May 25th, 2011 10:07 pm (UTC)
She tightens her hold on her jacket mimicking the clenching of her heart.

Wow. Loved this. Damon and Anna are both so tragic.

You've inspired me to continue procrastinating and go back and rewatch some Damon/Anna season 1 scenes now.
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 07:52 am (UTC)
I never thought of it that way, but you're right! They are both pretty tragic, and perpetually alone. I'm procrastinating myself with all the icon-making and fic-writing, haha, thanks for reading :)
sunsetdawn20: innocentsunsetdawn20 on June 15th, 2011 01:47 am (UTC)
OMG this was gorgeous. I think your Anna is the best I've read so far. So very old and still a child. Wonderfully sad and painful. And Damon is just... well, Damon, perfect and perfectly wrong at the same time. I think the two metaphor lines are my favourites. Beautiful fic.
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on June 15th, 2011 07:25 am (UTC)
Thank you so much, I'm really glad this worked for you :) It's a fairly odd pairing, but I always like anything that's never been explored or totally doesn't work, and I love the idea of Anna being that young for ever; she's still a child, but she's not, that's a paradox that's really hard to resolve!
sunsetdawn20: any ship oncesunsetdawn20 on June 15th, 2011 12:55 pm (UTC)
I love the idea of Damon/Anna, then again I'm a sucker for rare ships, which is why I created tvd_rareships. lol In all my fandoms I'm known as the girl who will try absolutely any ship. In one fandom after the first ep of a season I started writing a whole AU storyline based on the secret relationship of two characters who only ended up being in the same scene at the very end of the season for about two minutes, in which they didn't interact at all except when the guy pointed a gun at the woman. So yeah, weird pairings are sort of my thing. :)
youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on June 15th, 2011 06:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, tvd_rareships is yours? That's awesome! I love that comm (mostly because unfortunately Damon/Caroline and Elijah/Elena are 'rare' ships, lol). I wish I had that kind of openness, I mostly ship the odd couples, but then I only ship them. I'm usually very fixed in my ships, which is sad because there are so many other things to explore, but I always find it hard to do it! Haha, your fandom adventure sounds excellent, I know I myself have searched for REALLY odd pairings, that probably nobody's written on (I was shipping Sam/Rachel in Glee for no reason other than the fact that they hadn't interacted at all), and to find a fic on it must be a godsend for people searching :D (Also, appropriate icon is appropriate)
dancing till the world ends: tvd: jeremy annalynnenne on June 2nd, 2013 02:55 pm (UTC)
Oh, nice fic! I love Anna, and I wish there had been more of her. And more of her with Damon would have been a special treat.
youcallitwinter: stranger than your sympathy.youcallitwinter on June 2nd, 2013 06:12 pm (UTC)
Oh wow, it's almost two years since this fic, haha. I loved Anna, and I think her interaction with Damon (consisting of shoving each other around a lot) formed a really good dynamic! Thanks so much :)