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10 September 2011 @ 12:49 am
fic: it's in the abc of growing up  




title: 
it's in the abc of growing up
rating: pg-13
pairing: caroline-centric; gen; references to caroline/damon, caroline/elena/bonnie, caroline/stefan friendship.
prompt: Life is not a song, sweetling. You may learn that one day to your sorrow.
a/n: written for the tvd comment fic-a-thon for opheliahyde's lovely prompt! Oh my god, I wanted to fit it in the comment box but then it became like ~3900 words so I just gave up.
disclaimer: disclaimed.


Damon Salvatore is actually the first person she ever sleeps with.

Except that she’d been pretending she’d slept with a lot of people before she’d actually even seen a guy naked, so it’s not like it’s a big deal for anyone but her.

“Caroline,” Elena sighs in this half-tired way that she’s taken to doing everything since her parents died, like she’d rather not be doing anything at all. It’s kind of scary, “you don’t even know his last name.”

“I do so,” she says indignantly, because she totally does know his last name, “it’s Salvatore. Like your boyfriend.”

“That was rhetorical, Caroline,” Bonnie says affectionately, like she’s trying not to laugh, and she wants to tell them that it’s kind of a huge deal because she just had sex, in this totally legit, grown-up way with a guy who knew what he was doing (she’s assuming he knew what he was doing because she can’t remember much, but he was older, ergo).

“I know that,” she didn’t really, but all water under the bridge and what not, “I just thought you guys might be a little excited for me. This totally hot guy was all over me instead of E...very other girl in this town he could’ve possibly had.”

Both of them just look at her, and it sort of sucks that they’ve been friends long enough to complete half finished sentences, like those sickeningly perfect couples in the kind of movies that she totally doesn’t watch and cry over on Saturday nights.

“How was it,” Bonnie suddenly asks, giggles in a way she remembers, “was it gooood?”

”Bonnie.” Elena says like it’s a travesty, like she always does, even when she can’t stop from smiling. She doesn’t tell them all about Matt, even though both she and Bonnie know they’ve totally done it. Elena did say that Matt’s neck apparently has a really sensitive spot that makes him make this particular sound and sometimes she stares at his neck out of sheer boredom when he sits in front of her in English. In this purely academic curiosity sort-of way because Elena’s her best friend and she would totally never look at Matt that way because, hello, preamble of the girl code.

(It’s just weird that it’ll be Matt and Elena now. Not MattandElena. Matt and Elena. As in not together.)

“It was,” she starts, and it’s odd she can’t remember much. It sucks to think he might not have been that good, as in, she would remember if it was epic, right? “awesome. He’s so…”

“Hot,” says Elena, unexpectedly, “that is to say,” she clarifies, because this is Elena, the daughter that Caroline herself would want because seriously, who wants to deal with a Caroline Forbes, ask her mom, “if you like that all-black wardrobe with the deliberate fuck-me hair and that constant look of condescension.”

“Why, Elena, are you setting your sight on the other brother now? Seems like someone's been noticing the elder Salvatore a lot.” and this time she’s not jealous, not really, because Elena’s eyes are still too huge for her face and she almost can’t stand to look in them and see the girl she used to know weighed down by a grief she can’t understand, can’t do anything about.

“Ew,” Elena wrinkles her nose and Bonnie laughs and Caroline wants to keep this Elena forever, and not lose her in the next ten minutes like she knows she’s going to, “no. And I haven’t set my sight on Stefan, he’s just…a nice guy.”

“With nice abs,” Bonnie adds in, “Stefan Salvatore: the nice guy with the nice abs. It’s almost poetic, don’t you think?”

Caroline remembers it being like this, except then it was Tyler Lockwood’s body under question (Tyler Lockwood is a jackass, but he's a jackass who works out a lot) instead of Stefan Salvatore’s, but it was still the three of them, and really, it never was about the boys with the different names and different faces and beautiful eyes anyway, it was about them. And Caroline hopes it’ll always be about them.

“I wouldn’t mind being in a Salvatore brother sandwich at all,” she shrugs, tries to imagine it, can’t, “I mean, I’d eat that in a heartbeat.”

It’s an odd sort of a euphemism but then Elena’s laughing anyway and Caroline’s been hanging around her since after the funeral, saying all the wrong things, except this time Elena’s laughing because of something she said and it’s the best thing that happened to her all week.


-


It’s a bit ironic really and a lot something else that is not ironic; even in death she’s second to Elena.

After all, it’s standard stuff; someone couldn’t get Elena so they used her instead. That kind of sounds like how her life’s been playing out since she can remember.

“So what am I getting out of not drinking human blood, again?” she asks, because it's a damn good question. 

And she’s never been particularly nice; she’s never been the kind of person to do something because it would be good for someone else. And now she has to live every single fragment of every single second of her life for other people, fighting this hunger, this need that seems to be a constant part of her, that crawls under her skin and dries up her throat and makes her feel alive and reminds her she's dead.

“Your humanity,” he says, which is grand and everything but it’s so hard to remember that when all she wants to do is eat people.

“So, when does it get easier?” she asks, because.

She knows the answer before he says it, reads it in the tired curve of his hand as he pushes his hair off his forehead, “it doesn’t, Caroline.”

Stefan’s an amazing guy, and sometimes she thinks it’d be almost too easy to fall in love with him. The horrible, forever kind of love that a couple of shopping trips wouldn’t cure. And that would suck because she’d break the girl code in the worst way ever and be a horrible friend, which sounds a lot worse than being a vampire ever did.


-


Seeing Elena is a little strange now.

It’s like she can’t help the instinctive fear or the automatic backing away, and it makes Elena look a little like she did at the funeral (Caroline’s not exactly sure which funeral now, there’ve been too many to count).

“I’m sorry,” she says, and man, she really has to get this thing under control, “sometimes, I just can’t help it, you know. You look, as in, she looks so much like... she was just—”

“I know,” Elena tries to smile and it doesn’t reach her eyes, and Caroline remembers this look but she’s never in her life wanted to be the one to make Elena look that way, “I know, Caroline, you have every right to, after what Katherine did to you.”

“But it was Katherine, right, not you.” it comes out sounding too much like a question, and she hastily continues, “I’ll get over it. Give me a day, I’ll be over it, I swear.”

And then she’s crying, which, even though she’s been undead for exactly two weeks, she knows has to rank pretty pathetic on ‘How to Be a Badass Vampire’ scale.

But Elena’s hugs still feel the same, her hair still smells of that apple shampoo they’ve both loved since the eighth grade, and if Caroline is able to tell the rush of blood beneath the veins and can’t stop her teeth from elongating, then it’s just a reminder that Elena’s still alive and that she still loves her, fangs and all.

And then she knows the ‘why not’ of the human-blood drinking thing. See, what Stefan wasn’t able to quite explain to her is this; every person she wants to eat is someone’s Elena. And what would people do in a world without their Elena anyway?


-


“So, do we, like, still have souls or what?” it’s an important existential question and the whole modernism debate in class really got her thinking. Her English teacher’s still boring as all hell, and has started smelling ridiculously eatable for someone who resembles that guy from True Blood, and not any of the hot ones either. He also wears these horrible sweaters when it's a thousand degrees outside, and Caroline Forbes is not about to digest a fashion disaster, thank you very much. However, regardless of the teacher, the Camus essay was interesting, depressing as hell, but interesting.

Damon groans, the ever-present glass of Bourbon in his hand tilting dangerously. Caroline’s just starting to realize the guy’s an alcoholic, and if he’d been a regular human, he would totally be one of those people who would sit at the Mystic Grill bar all day and perv out on the high school girls.

Oh, wait, he does that already. Moving on.

“I don’t know,” Stefan says, serious vampire look stamped all over his face. Stefan would have thought about this before, obviously, he’s Stefan; “I honestly don’t know Caroline. I wish I did.”

“What does it matter” Damon sounds annoyed, which is a bit rich coming from him, really, “you’re already dead.”

“But I could be deader,” she points out, “and if Klaus— or, let’s face it, one of his minions— kills me in the war or whatever, I don’t want to be stuck in an Inception-type limbo for freaking forever, that would suck.”

“Nobody’s going to kill you,” Stefan says, immediately, she kind of adores him for it, even if he’s lying.

“You don’t know that,” she says, kindly, “you can’t possibly know that, Stefan. I mean, Katherine killed me, right? So I need to have my bases covered for another unfortunate incident like that.”

“Why do you keep doing that,” and Damon actually sounds frustrated, that guys has a kaleidoscopic range of emotions, all of which border on ‘annoyed’ or ‘manic’.

“Doing what?” she says shortly. It’s stupid to ask, this is probably just setting herself up for a punchline.

“Putting yourself down,” he says, and um, what?

“I don’t?” she says, what even?

“This is exactly the sort of thing you did when I—”

“When you what?” she interrupts furiously, how dare Damon Salvatore of all people think he knows anything about her at all, “treated me like your personal restaurant? Made me feel stupid. shallow. useless?”

“Caroline,” Stefan says quietly, moving close, hand on her shoulder, “hey, Care, listen to me--”

“No,” she says, nearly in tears, apparently stoicism isn’t a vampire superpower. Sad, that, “ I’m going home. Screw you both.” Which is both stupid and childish, but she’s going to be seventeen forever anyway, so.

She barely has time to register before she’s caught between the table and Damon, with the loud crash of what was probably a very expensive bottle of alcohol.

“Damon.” Stefan sounds resigned instead of outraged, which Caroline think is totally the wrong emotion to pick from the three or four that he seems to have.

She struggles, she’s a freaking vampire for god’s sake. She can totally handle this shit herself now.

Except, of course, so is he.

“Did I do this to you,” he asks quietly, using his finger to lift her chin, making her meet his eyes even though she totally doesn't want to. She hates his eyes.

She stops struggling, leaves her hand on his chest, remembers her first time like she couldn’t when Elena and Bonnie had asked her about it. It had been epic, probably the best sex she’s ever going to have, and it had still been the worst day of her life, “no.” Because he didn’t. Damon Salvatore didn’t do anything to her except teach her not to trust strangers in bars or boys with eyes like his.

“You were the most beautiful girl in that room,” he shrugs, drops his hand to her waist, “what was I supposed to do? I’m a connoisseur, Caroline, I’d only visit the best restaurant in town.”

Which is actually a pretty gross thing to say, but when he finally lets her go, and Stefan turns away from her slightly, looking like he’s about to smile, she decides maybe she doesn’t have to go right this instant, she can stay for a little while longer.


-


“You don’t have to leave,” she says, “I’ll leave if you want me to.”

Bonnie hesitates, looks at her and doesn’t say she doesn’t want her to leave. It kind of hurts, if she’s telling the truth, which she was never a big fan of in any case.

“Okay,” she says, “I’m just leaving. I was waiting for Mr. Saltzman about the History project, and you’d think he’d be sort of cool, you know, with the whole vampire-hunter thing going on for him, like Buffy or something, but he’s really, really not. He made me stay after class because I didn’t know what the Spanish Civil War was fought for. Like, does he know that your favorite color is blue, or that you and I and Elena spent the entire night outside in the Donovan garden that one time, without our parent’s knowing? Not everyone can know everything.”

(Bad examples, those, considering the situation. She’s totally projecting here.)

Bonnie’s looking at her with an odd sort of expression and maybe she really should stop talking now before she does that thing where she can set Caroline on fire or whatever. Not that she minds being set on fire. Like, she minds of course, but she’s pretty sure Bonnie being the one to do it would be the harder punch out of the two.

She smiles a little and moves toward the door and doesn't think please ask me to stay, please, please, because that would just be all kinds of lame.

“And you got drunk on that one can of beer. And dressed up in Vicki’s clothes and danced under the streetlamp.”

Caroline swears her heart skips a beat, even though she knows it doesn’t technically beat anymore. She turns with her hand on the knob; Bonnie’s standing near the teacher’s desk, her hand gripping the edge. And when she catches Caroline’s eyes, she almost smiles. Not quite. But almost.

So it’s not much, but it’s good, and maybe it’s enough for now. She’s Caroline freaking Forbes, she’s single handedly managed the school environment club, and headed the most bake sales out of any individual student and stayed back hours to read to the elderly in the hospital and held rallies for increasing the cheerleading fund. And maybe it’s not exactly the same thing, but she worked on those and she can work on this too. She can work on them.


-


Being a vampire is sort of awesome.

Well, apart from the whole the Tyler thinking they’re forming some sort of Creatures Of The Night R Us club thing and the Matt-would-hate-her-if-he-knew thing. But she can work with that; Elena came around, didn’t she? And Matt and Elena had lasted together so long; they’d have to have been compatible in some ways. And Caroline's hoping their easy acceptance of terrorizers of small woodland critters is the basic way in which they were compatible.

Except there's also that being a vampire seems to involve a lot more confrontations with Stefan.

“I totally compelled her later,” she argues and Stefan needs to stop thinking he’s her mom and looking at her like she’s the biggest disappointment in the world, which actually is kind of what her mom looks at her like, to think about it.

“We’re all so glad you have your priorities just right,” Damon rolls his eyes, seriously, why isn’t he off somewhere trying to find a way to protect Elena and get into her pants, wasn’t that like his life mission or something, “car troubles are so much worse than mind control.”

“Shut up,” she says, because it’s totally not the same thing as what he did to her, it is not.

“You can’t keep offering to fix people’s cars, Caroline,” Stefan sounds like he feels he’s said this a million times and okay, he totally has not. Not about cars, at least.

“Told you you should’ve let me stake her that time,” says Damon from his place on the couch, because he does that, sits on the couch and watches Stefan scold her and she would ask him where his popcorn is, but she trying to pretend he doesn’t exist, so. Also, he makes too many remarks about killing her for her comfort. She would totally keep a stake near her bed when she stays the night at the Boardinghouse, just in case, except it would suck if it went through her heart when she was tossing and turning in her sleep or something.

“Shut up, Damon,” Stefan doesn’t look at him, and she resists the urge to stick her tongue out at the older, eviler Salvatore; she’s a grown woman after all, or at least as grown as she’s ever going to be now, “the key is to blend in, Caroline, and picking up people’s cars while they try to change tires is not blending in.”

“Yeah,” she says because she gets it, she’s not, like, a complete moron or something, “but I couldn’t just leave her there in the middle of nowhere; she didn’t even have a jack. God, that would just be mean.”

“You didn’t do it out of the goodness of your heart,” Damon chimes in and it’s sort of sad that the whole pretending he doesn’t exist thing doesn’t come with a mute button on it, “you did it because it’s totally awesome that you can.”

She’ll dance on his grave someday (it’s so weird to think it must somewhere close, his empty grave from 1864, what the hell has her life become anyway?), but for now, “okay, one – I sound nothing like that. Two – shut up. Three— Elena hates you.”

He dramatically mimes staking himself, it’s pleasurable viewing experience, except for that whole mime thing, “Elena hates me. I have nothing left worth living for anymore.”

“Figures that’s the only thing you’d pick on in the entire sentence.” he’s so obvious, it’s kind of sad, really. Sometimes, she wants to put her arms around him and tell him it won’t always be like this and that he’ll find someone too. Most times, she just wants to drive something hard and wooden through him, though.

“Careful, Stefan,” Damon gets that sex-glint in his eyes (and he might not be thinking of sex, but that look totally reminds her of sex. Pity he’s hot, Caroline thinks it’d be so much easier to hate him if his hair didn’t fall just that way. It’s not like he has anything else going for him, the psychotic, murdering vampire with severe girl issues that he is) “kitten has her claws out.”

“Yes, you could,” Stefan continues their argument, ignoring Damon. She’ll have to ask him sometime how many years it is before it’s possible to be as good at that as Stefan is, “it’s the twenty first century, Caroline. There are mobiles and tow-trucks now.”

Stefan’s a nice guy, she can totally imagine being bff’s with him if he ditches the worried-vampire-look occasionally, maybe hooking up with him five hundred years later if he wants her and it’s not a horrible thing to do anymore, but seriously, sometimes the guy just doesn’t get it,

The thing is, basically, she can do a lot of things now. Like Fight Crime and bring the Bad Guys to justice and be the Savior of The World and the Scourge of Evil. Be, like, James Bond, instead of, you know, the skimpily dressed Bond girl or something. Make up for this...thing that she is, make up for wanting to drain innocent people walking past her in the streets. She’s died once; she doesn’t have to do it every day for the rest of her undead life.

“I think Blondie didn’t get the memo,” Damon starts again, “you’re a vampire, not Super Girl. You are the bad guy in this Marvel Comic fantasy thing that you so obviously have— what superhero do you know who eats people anyway?”

It stops her short for a bit, because she’d never thought about it that way, that she’s the monster in this scenario.

“But I’m not,” she says because she’s not, answers her own unspoken question, “I’m not a monster. So, I have fangs, yeah and I’m pretty sure all the little, furry bunnies run away when they see me in the forest now, but I don’t eat people. I don’t do that because that’s a horrible thing to do, and what would people do if they didn’t have their Elena or Bonnie or Stefan…or you.” she adds, because in this completely freaky way, Damon is, like, her father or something, she has his blood in her veins and it’s never quite going to go out, and sometimes, when she’s sad, she thinks of him automatically. Mostly Stefan or Bonnie, but sometimes him.

“The point is—” she tries to explain again, because Stefan is still giving her That Look and she doesn't like it when Stefan gives her that look, she hates disappointing him.

“Drumroll,” says Damon and it’s a real pity they haven’t initiated an Olympic medal in the art of being annoying-- he’s going for gold right there.

“The point is,” she repeats, puts her hand on Stefan’s arm, because he has to understand this, right? It’s not like rocket science, it’s pretty basic, really “I could. Like, I could help her, that girl with the punctured tire. So I did. It’s what people do, it's not something to think about.”

He stares at her for a second longer than she thinks is absolutely necessary, and it makes her sort of uncomfortable because she’s new to this whole let's-prove-When-Harry-Met-Sally-wrong, just-friends-with-a-guy thing and she doesn’t know the correct signals yet, and how to not react and all that stuff that someone would’ve already written books about if the theory of evolution was actually true.

“That thinking part is a problem for you, anyway,” says Damon finally, except he says it kind of soft, like he can’t really help himself but tried for like three seconds to.

“Yeah,” says Stefan, and rapid mood-changing must be one of the vampire superpowers that she doesn’t know about, because he’s smiling now, “of course it isn’t.”


-


See, the thing is; she has a long time to live. Like, the longest ever.

‘Life is not song, sweetling, you may learn that one day to your sorrow’ Damon quoted to her once, because Damon’s the kind of person who keeps quoting random stuff and seems to have read everything from Aristotle to A Walk To Remember. And she wants to tell him, tell Stefan, when he looks like he doesn’t want to try anymore, it’s still life. They’re still alive, against every conceivable reason, against every single odd, they’re still alive. And it'd be stupid to give that up. And maybe she’ll die soon staked through the heart or something. But that’s not the worst thing, not anymore. She can still feel Elena’s hugs and see Bonnie smile and hear her mother scold and run through the forest with Stefan and watch Damon try to redeem himself or whatever it is he’s trying for these days.

Caroline Forbes has already died once, and she might die again; but this time she’s going to damn well make sure she lives first.

 
 
80% coffee & a little bit of sass: i have a personal estone iconearnmysong on September 9th, 2011 07:47 pm (UTC)
Lovely, my dear! As always.

Love the title too. Speeding Cars is one of my favorite songs :D
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on September 9th, 2011 08:01 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! As always :P

Yeah, it's such a beautiful song, and I recently saw a really good D/E video to it, so it's stuck in my head!
Bogwitch: TVD - Carolinebogwitch on September 9th, 2011 07:48 pm (UTC)
I really enjoyed that. I love Caroline using vampirism as a force for good!

A quick typo: to her except remind her
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on September 9th, 2011 08:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! imo, Caroline is Super Girl, basically. :D

And I'm so glad you noticed that! LJ editing is a bitch these days though, you practically have to repost the entire thing and work for hours to get anything fixed :s
Bogwitchbogwitch on September 9th, 2011 09:10 pm (UTC)
There was another I spotted but I can't find it now.

I'm always re-editing posts (usually about 6 times), but I haven't noticed a problem.
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on September 11th, 2011 09:33 am (UTC)
Seriously? Then you're so lucky because I can't edit anything right now. Like, just before this, I tried to edit this post and made a lot of changes AND THEN LJ ATE IT ALL UP. I'm so frustrated and annoyed right now D:
ever_neutralever_neutral on September 10th, 2011 09:58 am (UTC)
THIS FIC MAKES ME A;LKDJFSDLKFJDSLKFJSDLKJFLSKDJFDS;LJF

I'm sorry. Can we please flail over your Caroline/Damon? Because: FUCK. That shit is MAGNIFICENT. I must now quote my favourite parts:

Caroline’s just starting to realize the guy’s an alcoholic, and if he’d been a regular human, he’d totally be one of those people who would sit at the Mystic Grill bar all day and perv out on the high school girls.
Oh, wait, he does that already. Moving on.

-- LAUGHING LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS. And srsly, word on Damon's alcoholism. Why does Damon have so many issues? Hilarious.

“You were the most beautiful girl in that room,” he shrugs, drops his hand to her waist, “what was I supposed to do? I’m a connoisseur, Caroline, I’d only visit the best restaurant in town.”
-- D: I CANNOT EVEN DEAL WITH THIS. Of course Damon would say something totally sleazy like that as "comfort". Actually, what I love about it is that--as far as I can tell--he's lying. He picked Caroline 'cause he overheard her teary conversation with Bonnie. He picked her 'cause she was vulnerable and he could exploit her. But the fact that he's saying THIS *now* means that he knows he was WRONG. And they both know that he's lying, too? But Caroline just knows him too well to not get what he's doing. dlfkjdslfjdljfdsjfds

He dramatically mimes staking himself, it’s pleasurable viewing experience, except for that whole mime thing, “Elena hates me. I have nothing left worth living for anymore.”
“Figures that’s the only thing you’d pick on in the entire sentence.” he’s so obvious, it’s kind of sad, really. Sometimes, she wants to put her arms around him and tell him it won’t always be like this and that he’ll find someone too. Most time, she just wants to drive something hard and wooden through him, though.

-- HOW IS THE WAY YOU WRITE THEM SO PERFECT? I just want to watch this on my screen. Ian and Candice would kill it.

And, needless to say, your Caroline voice is par excellence, and your talent provokes fits of inadequacy in us all. Congratulations on your everything.
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on September 11th, 2011 11:10 am (UTC)
THIS IS THE FIRST NON-SHIPPY FIC I'VE EVER WRITTEN SO I'M ~INSECURE IN A CAROLINE SORT-OF WAY D:

Ooh, haha, you know I ship Damon/Caroline, so I was pretty sure I couldn't write them generally, but mostly Caroline writes herself and she has severe issues with Damon and he treats her like an annoying kid sister in my headcanon (if he's not sleeping with her, or maybe even if he is, idek D:).

DAMON'S ISSUES FTW. If I ever met him, I would totally hug him (and maybe stake him sometime, but probably a little later).

Actually, what I love about it is that--as far as I can tell--he's lying. He picked Caroline 'cause he overheard her teary conversation with Bonnie. He picked her 'cause she was vulnerable and he could exploit her. But the fact that he's saying THIS *now* means that he knows he was WRONG.

SEE, THIS IS WHY I LIKE YOU, YOU GET THINGS. Because he's obviously lying, he chose Caroline because she could so easily be used (and that she turned out to be Gossip Girl Extraordinaire was just a bonus for him) and he was terrible to her. Not only physically, but the "stupid, shallow, useless" will forever remain my most hated Damon moment; it was so unnecessarily cruel, and it hit her right where she was most vulnerable. But yeah, I think he gets he's been wrong about her a lot (including the whole she-won't-make-a-good-vampire thing because she is ~ magnificent)

OMG, IAN AND CANDICE NEED MORE SCENES TOGETHER, JS.

And, needless to say, your Caroline voice is par excellence, and your talent provokes fits of inadequacy in us all.

Ohh, shuuuup, you do that EVERY DAY with your wonderful meta-type-things, because I just read them and get all insecure that I'm not that insightful and that funny and that everything D:

Speaking of D/C, did you finish reading Unfinished Sympathy??
ever_neutralever_neutral on September 11th, 2011 02:01 pm (UTC)
OK shut up we're just basically rolling around in a stream of our own gross love at each other now, lmao.

I am halfway through Unfinished Sympathy! Enjoying it, obvs. Despite the, you know, WHYYYYY DAMON??? which is more or less a given.
xcoolscorpx on September 10th, 2011 11:08 am (UTC)
I just love how you write Damon and Caroline. It's perfect. I hope we get more scenes with these two in season three. I miss their snarky banter on the show. :(
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on September 11th, 2011 11:42 am (UTC)
Haha, thanks so much <33 I wanted this to be all about Caroline, but Damon insisted on staying in the background and making random remarks, that's the kind of thing he does. And I REALLY hope they give us good D/C scenes and evolve their friendship a little, in Season 3 but I really doubt it D: Thanks!
Frances: TVD - Caroline - taking care of businessgoldy_dollar on September 11th, 2011 04:41 am (UTC)
Ooh I loved this! Caroline's voice was delightful and you touched on some key relationships I would have loved to see developed more in the show (namely Bonnie and Caroline but also Damon and Caroline and how difficult it must be for her to stand in the same room as him). And I loved Stefan and Caroline's interactions even though usually I'm allergic to any hint of romance between them - I DUNNO, YOUR FIC ALWAYS MAKES ME WANT THINGS I DIDN'T THINK I WANTED.

Also this made me snicker:

“I don’t know,” Stefan says, 'worried vampire look' stamped all over his face. Stefan would have thought about this before, obviously, he’s Stefan;"

lol Stefan.
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on September 11th, 2011 11:51 am (UTC)
Haha, I actually ship Damon/Caroline like nobody's business (and the best fic I've ever read in this fandom was about them) so this is the first time I've tried to write them platonically and wow, Caroline has major Damon issues. It's kind of sad that the show hasn't addressed them, really. I also need a LOT more Elena/Caroline/Bonnie in my life *nods*

OKAY, I TRY SO HARD NOT TO SHIP STEFAN/CAROLINE AND TO LET THEM BE AWESOME FRIENDS because we so need more of that in movies and tv, but then he brings her friends over for a sleepover because she's sad and hurt and I'm all GUUUUUUUH, MY HEART. D:
most adorable zombie ever: TVD - Caroline - cute is what we aim forscorpiod1 on September 13th, 2011 08:16 am (UTC)
OMG, THIS IS STUNNING. ONE, YOU WIN ALL THE AWARDS FOR A 3K FILL *___* Two, your Caroline voice is really really perfect and I'm really impressed by how you took such a bleak prompt and made it something hopeful, but of course that would happen, it's Caroline, she's all hope.

I love how you develop all the relationships in here, her bond with Stefan (and slight crush on him, which, who can blame her, Stefan is lovely), Elena (I looove that she's initially uncomfortable with Elena, because she looks like Katherine and that just causes ISSUES with Caroline and it's just something I really wanted addressed on the show) and I really love how you write Caroline and Damon together, and how she's so ANNOYED with him and has several issues with him, but he's also like her irritating big brother, which is basically how I see them xD

See, what Stefan wasn’t able to quite explain to her is this; every person she wants to eat is someone’s Elena. And what would people do in a world without their Elena anyway?

THIS IS SO LOVELY *__* That is such a lovely way of articulating it and so very Caroline. My giiiiirls *__* Also, I completely ADORED the Caroline & Bonnie scene so much, I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP, it does not get enough attention *___* and I honestly spent most of this fic going, "why couldn't this happen in the show itself?" And then you make Caroline SUPER GIRL and everything is wonderful <3___<3

(also, I'm really sorry for how long it took me to get to this, I've just been having some real life issues /o\ )
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on September 13th, 2011 03:33 pm (UTC)
I'm really sorry for how long it took me to get to this, I've just been having some real life issues

Oh ouch, it sucks whenever I go back and realize that Real Life and all its issues didn't just...vanish while I was fandoming, more's the pity. And I really hope everything works out for you asap! (And haha, I totally did not think you were going to read all submissions for the ficathon- that would be a task indeed!)

it's Caroline, she's all hope.

What a lovely description; that is exactly what I love about her. Because she obviously doesn't get the kind of focus that Elena, being the main protagonist, does, so there are so many issues that are dealt with quickly; her abuse by Damon, her death, vampirism, her killing that man, the werewolf torture, everything. I remember in that wonderful scene where Elena talks about how she's never wanted to be a vampire, I actually felt so bad for Caroline because she didn't get that choice either. And in spite of everything, she just wants to host dances and match-make and cries when her boyfriend breaks up with her and wants to be okay with her mother, but can't help the automatic bitch response (I STILL can't help that with my parents!) GUH, I just adore her.

I love Caroline/Elena/Bonnie, and I genuinely think that she loves Elena much, much more than she's jealous of her (so I dislike it when fandom concentrates too much on that), and the jealousy actually made her so real, pilot onwards! And I somehow always imagine her as crushing on Stefan just a little, but even if she doesn't, they're absolutely delightful to watch on-screen ^.^

I'm of those VERY few people who actually really ship Damon/Caroline (although it's so hard getting around season one /sigh) so it's always fun to write them (although Damon-as-the-annoying-older-brother is glorious).

[CAROLINE NEEDS TO BE OUT THERE BEING THE SCOURGE OF EVIL, BASICALLY.]

Thank you so much <333
Havoc: bonnie smilinghavocthecat on September 13th, 2011 07:25 pm (UTC)
So, I love Stefan and Damon and Caroline hanging out as vampires, with all the baggage that entails, and I love Caroline and all her issues with Elena (because you can have issues with the people you love) and her hanging out with Elena and Bonnie. But I think what I love most is Caroline deciding to live to the fullest. :)
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on September 13th, 2011 07:51 pm (UTC)
Stefan/Caroline is so adorable on screen that I'm almost afraid to fic it! Elena/Caroline is a whole different territory and imo Caroline might like boys but she will basically always return to her girlfriends for anything really important and nothing, including canon, will convince me otherwise *nods* Thank you! <3
Havoc: bonnie elene caroline tvdhavocthecat on September 13th, 2011 08:21 pm (UTC)
I'm fairly certain that canon supports the "Caroline and her girlfriends for anything really important" interpretation anyway, or so my interpretation of canon happens to be.

I've only ever written Stefan/Caroline in the context of friendship, but they're surprisingly adorable together, and, in five hundred years, they're going to get drunk off their asses and reminisce. (And then, I maintain, Caroline will have the brilliant idea to have a seance to gossip with Bonnie, and Elena will tag along, and then there will be further adventures, especially after Damon shows up to snark. But that's because I apparently live to plot fic.)

Possibly I'm a little excited about TVD coming back soon and the shiny season two DVDs sitting on my desk at home.
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on September 13th, 2011 08:27 pm (UTC)
I've always thought so as well, and then fandom goes ahead and vilifies Elena while writing about Caroline or makes Caroline this ditzy, jealous blonde while writing about Elena and I'm all DD:

Stefan/Caroline friendship is equally adorable! Especially since Caroline always seems to be the kind of girl who'd find it hard to be 'just friends' with a guy and then you have them and it is glorious. And I can imagine them staying friends for the longest time, like Stefan and Lexi all over again (maybe Caroline can be the bff in the towel, when the new Doppelganger emerges five hundred years later, heh). ALSO, THIS FIC ABOUT THE SEANCE MUST HAPPEN, BECAUSE, AWESOME.

I'm just a little excited as well, nothing major, a few capslocked, large-fonted countdowns and stuff.
Serendipityxxi: Bloodserendipityxxi on September 14th, 2011 02:03 am (UTC)
Fantastic last line! Great Caroline voice! I love all her little insights and her relationship with the Salvatore brothers is so fun! Loved it all! :)
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on September 14th, 2011 11:32 am (UTC)
Haha, thanks so much! When I'm not shipping Caroline with the Salvatore brothers (which, let's face it, I'm doing most of the time), I love to think she's like their annoying kid sister who they just want to ~protect and fight with, aww.
eenaangel: Caroline Loveeenaangel on September 15th, 2011 05:11 am (UTC)
I can't even . . .

Both of them just look at her, and it sort of sucks that they’ve been friends long enough to complete half finished sentences, like those sickeningly perfect couples in the kind of movies that she totally doesn’t watch and cry over on Saturday nights.


Oh, this story has my girls being girls together! I just love this take on the friendship, showing how their bond goes back far longer and is far stronger than other people realize. And Caroline! Self-delusion at its comedic best!

It’s an odd sort of a euphemism but then Elena’s laughing anyway and Caroline’s been hanging around her since after the funeral, saying all the wrong things, except this time Elena’s laughing because of something she said and it’s the best thing that happened to her all week.


I love everything this paragraph chooses to be.


And then she’s crying, which, even though she’s been undead for exactly two weeks, she knows has to rank pretty pathetic on ‘How to Be a Badass Vampire’ scale.


YES! It was traumatic, and it was someone with her best friend's face and how could it NOT make a person want to ball up and cry forever? Oh, my poor bb Caroline.

And then she knows the ‘why not’ of the human-blood drinking thing. See, what Stefan wasn’t able to quite explain to her is this; every person she wants to eat is someone’s Elena. And what would people do in a world without their Elena anyway?


And this is, hands down, my favourite part of the story. It rings so true with who Caroline is, and how she would come at the question. She does look at it from a personal standpoint, because the whole morality and dichotomy of good and evil thing is too complex for a girl dealing with being killed and not human anymore. But she can understand it in a way that harkens back to her humanity, to the things that kept her sane and happy and loved-and to the empathy that she has in spades because she simply CANNOT take from someone else in this way.


Loved it, start to finish. One of the best Caroline-centric fics out there, BY FAR!
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 05:31 pm (UTC)
YOU ARE SUCH A SWEETHEART <3333

But honestly, this is my first gen!fic EVER, usually I'm such a shipper that everything gets subordinated to that, but Caroline somehow just makes me want to write, she's so very delightful! And I'm so glad you liked the Caroline/Elena/Bonnie stuff because I think there should be a LOT more concentration on it in the show. And I like to imagine that despite all circumstances, all boys, these three are going to be best friends till the end of freaking ~forever, and that they're always going to love each other much more than they neglect, are jealous or, or judge one another. That occasionally, apart from the death and vampires and what not, they're happy and they're loved. And Caroline imo, has so much empathy, it just interferes with everything else, I can't imagine her being a Damon or turning it off or anything, because that's simply not who she is.

One of the best Caroline-centric fics out there, BY FAR!
THANK YOU SO MUCH :D At least seven in the top ten were probably written by you
Alexia Lisa Drake: Vampire Diaries - Caro & Damonalexia_drake on September 27th, 2011 12:38 am (UTC)
“if you like that all-black wardrobe with the deliberate fuck-me hair and that constant look of condescension.”

Haha, I loved that part, and I totally like that kind of guy. *drools*

if he’d been a regular human, he would totally be one of those people who would sit at the Mystic Grill bar all day and perv out on the high school girls. Oh, wait, he does that already. Moving on.

LOL Funny part :D

Nice story.
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on November 3rd, 2011 02:52 pm (UTC)
HOW DID I NOT RESPOND TO THIS? Sorry DD:

I totally like that kind of guy too; I was ALL OVER Damon and his deliberate hotness in S1; even when he was murdering people, all I could think was "OMG, HIS EYES". Haha.

Thanks so much! :D
Amyshineyma on October 8th, 2011 10:40 pm (UTC)
I could've sworn I commented on this before, but I guess not. I shall do so now. I love everything this fic chooses to be, and if I quote all of my favorite parts I will be here all day, so I'm going to set a limit for myself now. Let's see...I will quote only five lines that I love. That's a nice round number. Well, odd number. But it's a nice common odd number, which...I don't know what I'm saying. I'll just review the fic.

“if you like that all-black wardrobe with the deliberate fuck-me hair and that constant look of condescension.”

I love it! First of all, no, Elena, you don't like that at all. Not you. Nope. But the slight rambling about a guy then instant denial of being attracted to him--it's very realistic, very high school. Which is awesome, because a lot of the time it's easy to forget these girls are in high school. They're all very mature and dealing with very serious issues, so we see them more as grown ups. Even in pre- or beginning of-series fic they tend to be written as very adult. So I love this little teenage-girl moment with the three of them talking about Caroline's conquest.

After all, it’s standard stuff; someone couldn’t get Elena so they used her instead. That kind of sounds like how her life’s been playing out since she can remember.

Oh, Caroline. I fell in love with Caroline at the very beginning, when she was complaining to Bonnie about everyone always liking Elena better, and I've come to sort of hate that the show seems to back that up. As previously discussed in your spectacular defense-of-Caroline post, Caroline needs more love. The only reason I ship Tyler/Caroline (which I do ship, although Damon/Caroline is my OTP) is because he so genuinely seems to want her, not Elena. I mean, I know that Elena's the focus of the show and all, but it seems to go a bit far sometimes. Like, was having Matt still be in love with her and not hiding it in front of Caroline (you know, his girlfriend?) completely necessary? /rant Sorry, that still gets to me. Back to the fic!

And then she knows the ‘why not’ of the human-blood drinking thing. See, what Stefan wasn’t able to quite explain to her is this; every person she wants to eat is someone’s Elena. And what would people do in a world without their Elena anyway?

This section is so amazing! I love it. It's a perfect, very Caroline reason for her not to drink human blood. It's human nature to be more concerned with yourself than with others, so why shouldn't Caroline drink human blood? Because every 'other' matters to someone like Elena matters to Caroline. It's beautiful. Love it.

Caroline’s just starting to realize the guy’s an alcoholic, and if he’d been a regular human, he would totally be one of those people who would sit at the Mystic Grill bar all day and perv out on the high school girls.

Oh, wait, he does that already. Moving on.


I love the quiet anti-Damon snark scattered throughout this fic. Like, Caroline can deal with him, but she still doesn't like him. Which is totally understandable, considering that she's just remembered everything he did to her. I literally sat here and debated about which one to quote, but I just really love this one. It's so perfect. Although I also love the little bit of concern Damon expresses in this section. The whole 'did I do this to you' thing. Because the sad thing is, no, he really didn't. Caroline's got an inferiority complex stretching back years. He only made it worse. (Note my ability to admit this, despite shipping Damon/Caroline. I'm only slightly bitter that the rest of the fandom can't seem to manage it.)

Caroline Forbes has already died once, and she might die again; but this time she’s going to damn well make sure she lives first.

This is probably my favorite line. It's so very Caroline. It's amazing. Caroline has been through so much--is still going through so much--but she's able to move past it and focus on the fact that she's alive, despite all odds, and she's really going to live this time, and jksdflsadfjsd I love it. Seriously.

You write Caroline spectacularly well. I'm going to stop now, because this has gotten ridiculously long. Thank you for writing this. It fills me with glee.
Dulcedecorumestdulcedeusex on November 3rd, 2011 04:31 am (UTC)
I kinda just wanna quote the whole fic back at you. It was perfection. Made me go, "Oh Caroline" a bunch of times. Love how it was about the girls and not the boys when they were talking about her first time at the beginning, loved inner Caroline's thoughts on Elena since her parents died. Loved the having to fight instinct for other people... I just loved it all. You have an incredible knack for writing in this fandom. *tips hat*
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on November 3rd, 2011 02:56 pm (UTC)
"Oh, Caroline" is pretty much my default setting, she's so adorable! I love TVD but I do think it rushes a lot on the female friendships to get to the romance and the bromance, etc. We've rarely seen an actual development of C/E/B in the show itself (although this season looks good on that angle!) I love writing Caroline, so I'm glad she worked for you here, thank you so much :)
Manurealchemistry on May 22nd, 2012 01:11 am (UTC)
This fic is truly amazing. I feel you capture the voices of each character and the dynamics betwene them wonderfully.

Steroline is the best <3