?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
18 November 2011 @ 12:11 am
fic: forget the silver screen  



title: 
forget the silver screen
rating: hard r
pairing: caroline/damon, caroline/her issues
warnings: dub-con, first season
a/n: written for the caroline forbes comment ficathon.
disclaimer: disclaimed.
eenaangel's prompt: I best tidy up my head, I'm the only one in love.

Tonight will be different, she decides.

“Not on the neck”, she’ll tell him when he leans down. Try and keep her sanity a little while longer.

“But that’s my favorite place,” he’ll pout, the corner of his lips turning down in a way that will remind her he’s more boy than man. But he’s more monster than boy. Most times she’s never sure which.

“I know,” she’ll soothe him, the terror making inroads through her veins, mixing with the arousal. The smell of blood always makes her a little wet, or maybe it’s the other way round. Maybe there’s always a copper tang in the air when she’s wet. Most times, she’s never sure which, “but it’s hard to hide. I can’t wear those hideous scarves throughout summer. I have a reputation to keep, you know.”

Sometimes, when she thinks about it, she thinks she’s that high school girl from her books. The one sad enough to be dating the older guy who’s only with her because she’s a good fuck. She is a good fuck. He’s probably had better though. So she’s mostly just a metaphor that gives average blow-jobs.

“So where then?” his eyes will gleam, the monster in him (or maybe it’s the boy in him this time) sated with just the thought of marking another part of her body, claiming another inch of her soul skin. 

She’ll feel a slight pang of something like regret, because she’s never been as beautiful as Elena, and now, she’ll never be as beautiful as Elena. ‘Damaged goods’, her English teacher would say, talking about some story written a long time ago, 'damaged goods, they called her in the streets'. He probably lived in that story, a long time ago. Maybe he still lives in that story somewhere, she thinks occasionally, when she’s completing her English assignments and can afford to be poetic. 

(Katherine, he whispers sometimes, his hair plastered to his face, his cock still inside her, Katherine. She must have been some kind of a goddess in his time, Caroline decides, his reverence mingling with the sweat on her skin. An old goddess, with statues and worshippers to her name. Katherine. It’s a pretty name).

“Here,” she’ll say provocatively, opening herself to him, touching her inner thigh, hoping he doesn’t see her hand shake. “Here,” she’ll say again, make it something it’s not, won’t mention it’s the one place no one has seen, will see. She'll trace the skin with her finger, move a thumb to her clit, act like she knows what she's doing. Like she didn't learn it from a porn movie that Tyler secretly made them all watch in the Lockwood mansion once. She's damned if she'll let anyone else see the scars.

“Well, aren’t you the kinky one.” he’ll smile. Or something. Whatever the upward turn of his lip signifies on his face. She’s never very sure, "you weren't made for this one-horse town, sweet Caroline". Her daddy used to call her that, used to sing that song sometimes. She never wants to be called that again.

He’ll look at her, and she’ll look down, avoid his eyes, keep her thoughts hers for just a little while longer. Don't look too deep into those angel eyes, the record will blast. Don't mistake coincidence for fate, LOST taught her.

“Haven’t I proven it yet?” she’ll fan her hair like that, bite her lip just so. Borrow words from books she’s half read, from movies she’s missed the beginning of, make it sound like they’re hers, “my bad.”

“You want to make it up to me?” he’ll lie back, arms crossed against her headrest; cock straining, eyes hard. He’s achingly beautiful. 

She’ll slither down then, touch her tongue to his cock. Lose her innocence in front of her stuffed toys, her princess desk, her history homework, her childhood blanket, “is this sufficient repentance, Mr. Salvatore.”

His breath will shorten a little, she’ll feel something akin to triumph, something akin to loss (she’s never sure which), “well, if it’s the best you got Miss Forbes...”

She’ll lave him with her tongue, probably get it wrong, probably won’t compare to the women through the years, “you’re a hard task-master.”

He’ll look at her then, smirk, “you ain’t seen nothing, love.”

Don’t say that, she won’t say, don’t fucking say that, you bastard.

She’ll make him come with her tongue and teeth, swallow because she wants to, swallow because he wants her to (sometimes she’s not sure which). The sound at the back of his throat will stay with her all night. I fucking hate you, she won’t say. You’re beautiful when you come, she won’t say. 

He’ll pull her up then, flip her around at a speed her mind won’t register, make her beg, touch her in places she blushed about a year ago. 

“You’re beautiful when you come,” he’ll whisper against her skin. Breathe hard, when he doesn't need to breathe at all.

She’ll turn her head away then; keep her sanity just a little while longer.

(Maybe tomorrow, she’ll run, hide, scream. Tonight, she'll stay. "Not on the neck", she'll tell him).
 
 
 
Alexia Lisa Drake: Vampire Diaries - Caro & Damonalexia_drake on November 17th, 2011 07:23 pm (UTC)
Wow, I feel like I just read a deleted scene from Season 1. I loved it. Nicely written :D

And I kinda want to re-watch Season 1. Again. lol
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 17th, 2011 07:42 pm (UTC)
Haha, thank you so much! I'd have loved to see Caroline's thoughts about D/C explored; but well, that never happened, so, fic :D

My god, that season was awesome, I want a re-watch too!
upupa_epops: [tvd] Caroline Forbesupupa_epops on November 17th, 2011 07:43 pm (UTC)
WHOA.

That was amazing. I don't usually touch Damon/Caroline at all, because with the fandom's general attitude towards Damon I never know when I'll come across something that will make me a little ball of feminist rage, but here I was sure that it won't be the case, so I read it. WHOA. Just WHOA.

I love how you're building your story on what Caroline doesn't say and what she doesn't know for sure. And all the references, how Caroline borrows sentences, learns from half-read books and movies, and TV; she is so young, and you capture it perfectly. The clash between her childhood room and what she does with Damon, the clash between how beautiful Damon is and his monstrosity - amazing!

It's certainly not a nice story to read, and it brings little pleasure, but good for you. This is how it's supposed to work :). Excellent writing!
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 17th, 2011 07:55 pm (UTC)
I have an incredibly messed-up relationship with Damon/Caroline, because I actually ship them? Hard. And trying to reconcile that with what Damon's done to her; oh man, why do I even do this to myself? D:

Word to fandom's attitude to Damon, cannot stand it. I think the worst about that relationship was that it was abusive in such a human way; it wasn't all about Damon being a vampire, it was also about him shattering her self-esteem ("stupid, shallow, useless"), using her for whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and her excusing his actions (willingly or through compulsion, it's never clear). And Caroline is such an amazingly strong characters, that it's hard to see that blank look in her eyes.

But I still ship them on potential because I think the snark and sex would be amazing, not to mention they're forever everyone else's second choice. But then I love all the psychopaths on the show, so my moral compass is obviously not pointing north, heh.
upupa_epops: [tvd] Caroline Forbesupupa_epops on November 17th, 2011 08:13 pm (UTC)
I have an incredibly messed-up relationship with Damon/Caroline, because I actually ship them? Hard. And trying to reconcile that with what Damon's done to her; oh man, why do I even do this to myself? D:

This is exactly how my relationship with Damon/Elena looks like (obviously there was no rape in Damon/Elena, but there are other difficult issues), so I get what you're saying. I have nothing against Damon/Caroline itself; I just avoid reading D/C fics, because there are so many things an author can do wrong that I don't want to risk an outburst of rage. I can somehow ignore the "perfect Damon" when I'm reading some silly and bad D/E fanfic, because I just read it to relax when my brain is so tired it doesn't process anything better, but I can't do the same with Damon/Caroline, because their relationship is on a different level for me; I can't stop treating it seriously, under no circumstances. If I was sure that every Caroline/Damon writer views this ship the way you do, I wouldn't be able to stop reading those fics :).

You are right about Damon's abuse being so human! He generally tends to do all the wrong things for human reasons, doesn't he?
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 12:41 pm (UTC)
This is exactly how my relationship with Damon/Elena looks like.

Haha, since I ship D/E equally hard, I'm going to have to agree here!

I have nothing against Damon/Caroline itself; I just avoid reading D/C fics, because there are so many things an author can do wrong that I don't want to risk an outburst of rage.

Oh, I know, right? That is the actual worst. I think I'm beginning to turn of the opinion where I kind of accept it if the author chooses to gloss over the entire thing, or pretends that it doesn't happen or moves beyond it. Earlier, I just couldn't get past it, but considering the show itself failed to address it, I can hardly blame fanfic authors for not going into that territory. It's best they don't, instead of coming up with some magic resolution which would be way worse.

I actually don't mind anything on screen or in fic because it's a fictionalized representation, as long as the show or the person writing the fic is aware that it's a fucked up, terrifying situation. My problem lies with romanticization and the belief that he never really abused her, or it's a 'vampire thing'. I can ship them hard even after everything, because they're fictional, but that shouldn't mean I excuse the action itself, which is NOT fictional.

Long rant is long, this always triggers me, lol

You are right about Damon's abuse being so human! He generally tends to do all the wrong things for human reasons, doesn't he?

Oh, he completely does! Damon is VERY human in that way in all his psychopathness! Although in that particular D/C incident, I think he wasn't human in the 'feels too intensely, loves too much, acts too rashly' sort of way, but in a cold, deliberate way, which is why "stupid, shallow, useless" will forever be the worst Damon moment ever. I disliked him so much in it. D:

If I was sure that every Caroline/Damon writer views this ship the way you do, I wouldn't be able to stop reading those fics :)

Haha, you know, some of the absolute best fanfic I've read in this fandom is D/C which is what got me shipping them in the first place xD
upupa_epops: [tvd] Caroline Forbesupupa_epops on November 18th, 2011 04:13 pm (UTC)
I actually don't mind anything on screen or in fic because it's a fictionalized representation, as long as the show or the person writing the fic is aware that it's a fucked up, terrifying situation.

This is exactly how I see it. I mean, that's one of the reasons we have fiction, right? To be able to explore all the fuck up, and all the terror without actually hurting anybody. So I'm ok with reading D/C fics in which really bad things happen, but I don't want to read fics in which the abuse is romanticized. That's why I liked your fic so much; you write about scary, wrong and complicated things, and you force your reader to face all the horror in its entire complexity.

Earlier, I just couldn't get past it, but considering the show itself failed to address it, I can hardly blame fanfic authors for not going into that territory. It's best they don't, instead of coming up with some magic resolution which would be way worse.

I see your point :). I wrote a D/C fic once, and this was my biggest problem; I saw that the abuse was horrible, but, at the same time, it wasn't the worst thing that ever happend to Caroline (it was a s2 fic). When she was turned into a vampire, she had loads of issues that were more pressing than her post-rape trauma. So I was obsessively looking at every sentence from three different angles, because I didn't want it to seem that I'm dismissing the question of abuse, but at the same time I didn't want this story to be just about the abuse. So I can agree with you in a sense that it would be stupid if all Damon/Caroline were mainly about rape or post-rape trauma. There is more to them than just that, and every single fic doesn't have to deal with this one issue.

I hope I'm making at least some sense?

Where can one find all the awesome fanfic? :)
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 04:41 pm (UTC)
So I'm ok with reading D/C fics in which really bad things happen, but I don't want to read fics in which the abuse is romanticized.

Oh god, that's the absolute worst, because so many people do it and don't see anything wrong with it D: Apologism/slut shaming is also so ridiculously prevalent in this fandom. It seems to happen more so in first season Damon/Someone-other-than-Caroline fic (say first season Damon/Elena fic) where the author wants to make Caroline out to be a slut to show that Damon would obviously fall for Elena, and not the girl who totally threw herself at him and slept with him on the first date or whatever. And I'm all "Seriously? That's what you got from their scenes together?"

I wrote a D/C fic once, and this was my biggest problem; I saw that the abuse was horrible, but, at the same time, it wasn't the worst thing that ever happend to Caroline.

FIRST THINGS FIRST: LINK.

Also, I completely understand. I always contend that despite everything that keeps happening to everybody in this godforsaken town, Caroline has had it the worse than possibly anyone else. She had that abusive relationship with Damon, on the matter of which btw, Elena and Damon were kind of laughing and ~bonding over by the time of Isobel, where Damon's all "have fun with the Mystic Queen, I know I did" and Elena smiles in that oh, Damon sort of way. Which, what? YOU ARE NOT SENDING THE RIGHT MESSAGE ACROSS, SHOW.

Then she gets killed. Then she gets turned. Then she remembers everything that happened to her. Then her ex-boyfriend tries to kill her. Then she gets rejected by her best friend. Her mother refuses to acknowledge her as her daughter. She gets tortured by werewolves. The guy she risked her life for, just sort of stands and watches. Her mother and her boyfriend make plans to kill her. Her "daddy" tortures her and tells her she'll never be okay again. And now her boyfriend is in some weird sire-bond-thing with a guy trying to kill all of them.

MY BB GIRL D: *hugs her*

YOU MAKE ALL THE SENSE.

Where can one find all the awesome fanfic? :)

IF THIS IS NOT SIMPLY A QUESTION PUT TO MAKE ME HAPPY, I HAVE ALL THE RECS, GUH.

Unfinished Sympathy is my favorite fic in this entire fandom. I pimp it around so much, it probably has rug burns by now. But the first season Damon characterization is excellent, and Caroline is so ridiculously in character as well. Ngl, this is the best depiction of the effects of compulsion that I've seen, especially from the pov of the compelled. It's pretty AU, an extension of mid-season one possibly, put the plot is SO GOOD. If you're actually interested, read it and tell me what you thought :D

ALSO, YOUR FIC. LINK. /cavewoman
upupa_epops: [tvd] Caroline Forbesupupa_epops on November 18th, 2011 05:09 pm (UTC)
Of course I want to read it! It might take me a while, because I have some work to do, but I'll make sure to let you know as soon as I finish reading :).

Apologism/slut shaming is also so ridiculously prevalent in this fandom.

I wish I could say you were wrong :(.

It seems to happen more so in first season Damon/Someone-other-than-Caroline fic (say first season Damon/Elena fic) where the author wants to make Caroline out to be a slut to show that Damon would obviously fall for Elena, and not the girl who totally threw herself at him and slept with him on the first date or whatever.

RAGE!!! I don't get it, really :(. The show is so awesome in writing female characters (Elena insisting on keeping her agency, Caroline and her general awesomeness), and a good part of fandom can't recognize it, let alone appreciate it. Just... HOW???

She had that abusive relationship with Damon, on the matter of which btw, Elena and Damon were kind of laughing and ~bonding over by the time of Isobel, where Damon's all "have fun with the Mystic Queen, I know I did" and Elena smiles in that oh, Damon sort of way. Which, what? YOU ARE NOT SENDING THE RIGHT MESSAGE ACROSS, SHOW.

Oh yes, this scene was just ugly. It's totally in character for Damon to say something like that, but I could never understand Elena's behavior in this scene. Especially since it was HER who caused a scene in the beginning of s1 seconds after she noticed bite marks on Caroline's body.

Worst things always happen to Caroline, so true :(. Though it comforts me a bit that now she finally is on good terms with her mom, so despite the fucked-up situation with Tyler she at least has something solid and stable to hold on to. After what they've been through Liz will always have Caroline's back.

The fic is here, but it's my first attempt to write not only Caroline/Damon, but also Caroline at all, so now I'm kind of nervous...
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 06:28 pm (UTC)
Of course I want to read it! It might take me a while, because I have some work to do, but I'll make sure to let you know as soon as I finish reading.

DO NOT FEEL PRESSURED, OKAY? Haha, I'm always afraid of that. Of course you should read it when you have the time, and if you don't want to read it at all, that is fine also :D

The show is so awesome in writing female characters (Elena insisting on keeping her agency, Caroline and her general awesomeness), and a good part of fandom can't recognize it, let alone appreciate it. Just... HOW???

THESE ARE THE MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE. Like, they're none of them perfect representations and they have their ~inducing feminist rage moments too, but most of the time they're so stunningly different from typical teen!Vampire!show heroines and HOW CAN ANYONE COMPLETELY NOT SEE IT? D:

It's totally in character for Damon to say something like that, but I could never understand Elena's behavior in this scene. Especially since it was HER who caused a scene in the beginning of s1 seconds after she noticed bite marks on Caroline's body.

Yeah, if they weren't addressing the issue at all, there was absolutely no need for trivializing it D: And even Elena's first "I'll report it to the sheriff" wasn't really carried forward. I think I and ever_neutral have usually held that this show is NOT good at female friendships. They're very token, as compared to the Epic Bromances. Even after Caroline was tortured, we didn't have any ~friend moments with Bonnie or Elena sitting her down and asking her how she was, or in Daddy Issues when Stefan was the initiator. This season is turning out to be REALLY GOOD in that respect, and I love that!

OFF TO READ, YAY :D
upupa_epops: [tvd] Caroline Forbesupupa_epops on November 18th, 2011 10:18 pm (UTC)
Don't worry, I don't feel pressured :). And if I ever do, I'll make sure to let you know, I'm not shy that way.

Feminist rage is always there, but there are ten awesome moments for every OMG RAGE moment, so I can enjoy the show and not feel guilty about it.

Even after Caroline was tortured, we didn't have any ~friend moments with Bonnie or Elena sitting her down and asking her how she was, or in Daddy Issues when Stefan was the initiator.

I just pretend that Stefan wasn't there, ok? Because this scene is one of the very few moments in TVD that literary make me cry (even looking at screencaps makes me cry...), and Caroline is so incredible there I don't even know whether I want to hug her, kiss her or worship her. I try to explain that Stefan was the initiator, because he was the one who walked Caroline home, so he was the only one who knew how bad she was. It's a sorry excuse and it doesn't work on a feminist ground at all (if my friend had just been tortured by a pack of werewolves, I'd be calling her every hour to see how she's doing, and then I'd just come over anyway...), but it makes me feel better.

I'm just waiting for all the awesome friendship moments! We totally should get more of those (and it's not only about female friendships, although I agree that there is not enough of those, and therefore they require more work now to make up for the screw-ups). To be honest, I'd be perfectly happy if TVD was a friendship&family-centric show with some love stories in the background. I need more scenes like Liz saving Caroline from the cell, or Elena talking to Jeremy the ways she sometimes did in s1, or the girls interacting, or the brothers being brothers, or... Well, everything like that. I'm a sucker for non-romantic relationships.

Thank you for reading the fic :D.
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 19th, 2011 01:49 pm (UTC)
Well, that's always good to know :D

Oh, I know, which is why TVD is SO MUCH MORE than just another teen vampire show. I love it when women get the chance to be genuinely awesome, because that so rarely happens :s

I just pretend that Stefan wasn't there, ok? Because this scene is one of the very few moments in TVD that literary make me cry (even looking at screencaps makes me cry...), and Caroline is so incredible there I don't even know whether I want to hug her, kiss her or worship her.

That scene totally made me cry as well /no regrets, it was so incredibly amazing. And Caroline, refusing to break down in front of Stefan ("I'm not girly little Caroline anymore") and then completely breaking down in front of Bonnie and Elena, oh my god. I loved her so insanely much in that scene. And I would never take Stefan out, because THAT was the scene that made me realize just how incredible he actually is. Earlier it used to be All About Damon for me, but with this episode I could see why Elena was with Stefan. How perfect he was to go that extra mile that he absolutely didn't have to. That scene is possibly my favorite out of all TVD scenes actually!

Yeah, it's not so much about female friendships for me as well; I just the girls to have storylines apart from their boyfriends. Caroline's entire arc (except for the one-episode torture thing) was all about Tyler. She barely had any role to play in most episodes, which sucked. And Elena/Jeremy DEFINITELY needs to be explored more, because even Elena's arcs tend to be all about the Salvatores. AND STEFAN/CAROLINE PLZ, what even happened to their epic bff-ness? D:
Bogwitch: TVD - Carolinebogwitch on November 17th, 2011 09:10 pm (UTC)
This was achy, but lovely in a chilling undercurrent way.

Edited at 2011-11-17 09:10 pm (UTC)
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 12:43 pm (UTC)
I think that might have been because Caroline was terrified, haha, thank you :)
a girl like that: dc2cassiehayes on November 17th, 2011 09:35 pm (UTC)
OH. I love Damon/Caroline fic set in the beginning of season one when it's done well, and this is SO GOOD. You've captured Caroline's feelings in such a tragic, painful way, and I love the contrast of what's happening and where it's happening, Lose her innocence in front of her stuffed toys, her princess desk, her history homework, her childhood blanket. aljdsljdsds, oh Caroline D:

And I love how you portrayed Damon in this, not romanticizing what happened at all.

(Katherine, he whispers sometimes, his hair plastered to his face, his cock still inside her, Katherine. She must have been some kind of a goddess in his time, Caroline decides, his reverence mingling with the sweat on her skin. An old goddess, with statues and worshippers to her name. Katherine. It’s a pretty name).

SO PERFECT I CAN'T. Guhh. (Also making me remember how hard I shipped Damon/Katherine too in season one, oh gosh.)

Also, this - Borrow words from books she’s half read, from movies she’s missed the beginning of, make it sound like they’re hers - is just such an interesting sentence to me, and idk, I just adore the detail and idea of it, and yeah okay, there is so much of this LOVELY FIC that is quote-worthy, I can't, and I just want to clutch Caroline to my heart.
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 12:55 pm (UTC)
Appropriate icon is appropriate :D Also, his expression is so ~intense.

I love Damon/Caroline fic set in the beginning of season one.

Oh, I know, right? There is SO MUCH to explore. I've totally had this idea in mind about a S1 Damon/Caroline fic since ages, because I love Damon being a bastard and Caroline being difficult. It's so not easy to make her do stuff till he compels her, it's got to hurt his ego a little, heh.

You picked my favorite line, of course you would.

Not romanticizing what happened at all.

This fandom sucks with things like that D:

there is so much of this LOVELY FIC that is quote-worthy, I can't, and I just want to clutch Caroline to my heart.

Haha, this sounds like EXACTLY what I said about your fantastic Stefan/Caroline fic yesterday, I shall quote it all places ^^ But seriously, Caroline in S1 was such a tragedy, she shall forever be my favorite *hearts*
a girl like that: dc2cassiehayes on November 18th, 2011 09:16 pm (UTC)
Heee, Damon is quite the master of the ~intense look.

SO MUCH, indeed! And aldjs, It's so not easy to make her do stuff till he compels her, it's got to hurt his ego a little, heh - that is kinda one of my favourite things, in a weird way. Reminds me of the scene where he tries to get her to go help with the dishes and she's just like *nosescrunch* "Um no" and he tries to be all ~charming and convincing but she's not having any of it until he actually does compel her.

You picked my favorite line, of course you would.

HA, I am good ;) Such an awesome line, though.

This fandom sucks with things like that D:

They doooo. Like, I ship these two like crazy in some ways, but there are so many fics I've started to read that have me just.... back away slowly, because no.

Caroline in S1 was such a tragedy, she shall forever be my favorite *hearts*

She was! *clutches her* And as much as I love how she's become all badass and such, it makes me sad when people just ignore S1!Caroline because she was so interesting too D:
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 19th, 2011 01:35 pm (UTC)
Is he not? Sometimes it's really funny, but mostly his ~intense look is just right. :D

Reminds me of the scene where he tries to get her to go help with the dishes and she's just like *nosescrunch* "Um no" and he tries to be all ~charming and convincing but she's not having any of it until he actually does compel her.

EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING OF. I love how he constantly tries to ~charm her and it doesn't work at all. He actually makes the effort, multiple times in fact, and she rejects him every single time. "Listen dungeon boy, I'm done being your little slave girl" was so, so epic. As was the "you seriously hurt me, and I'll be damned if..." , I love how pre-compulsion Caroline engages in no apologism whatsoever, she knows the stakes and she's smart enough to try and get out of a horrifically unhealthy relationship. Cue, compulsion /sigh

S1 CAROLINE WAS AMAZING. Vampire!Caroline is so kickass, but I adored her human self as well, even though most of fandom seems to make a wide distinction btw the two :s
a girl like that: damon salvatorecassiehayes on November 19th, 2011 02:56 pm (UTC)
Sometimes it's really funny, but mostly his ~intense look is just right. :D

Mhmmmmmm he really does, although LOL, speaking of funny, THE LITTLE GRIN HE MAKES AFTER APOLOGIZING TO ALARIC IN GHOST WORLD. I don't even understand how Ian twists his face so ridiculously, I've gone back and paused just to show people because it just looks so weirdly funny, what even.

I love how pre-compulsion Caroline engages in no apologism whatsoever, she knows the stakes and she's smart enough to try and get out of a horrifically unhealthy relationship. Cue, compulsion /sigh

Ugh, YES, this so much, I think even from the get-go, their initial interaction says a lot, she didn't just ~swoon for his charm, she was all "Cocky much?" and oh I love you, Caroline.

And S1 CAROLINE WAS SO AMAZING. I'm really not a fan of the wide distinction at all, because while I think it's justified to a certain extent, it means a lot of people just kinda gloss over human!Caroline, and that's the worst. Especially when they say things about how "she gets all the best lines now!" and it's like UM, CAROLINE HAS HAD THE BEST LINES SINCE THE BEGINNING (except maybe Damon, lol) WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? "Girl likes boy. Boy likes girl. Sex!" and the one you just pointed out, YES, "Listen dungeon boy...", or "I'm worse than shallow, I'm a kiddie pool!" (although D:), and of course "So what, is this like a threesome now? You and the Salvatore brothers?"

S1 CAROLINE GETS ALL THE AWARDS.
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 19th, 2011 09:52 pm (UTC)
YOU HAVE SUCH PRETTY ICONS.

LOL, speaking of funny, THE LITTLE GRIN HE MAKES AFTER APOLOGIZING TO ALARIC IN GHOST WORLD. I don't even understand how Ian twists his face so ridiculously

Oh, god, I know, right? IT IS SO UTTERLY, ADORABLY RIDICULOUS. I was seriously all lolwut at it. But the best is that it's his flirty-smile-thing and he's so obviously trying to literally ~seduce Alaric into being friends with him again. LOLOLOL. Ian has a host of these diva-esque expressions and I think it might be why I love Damon so much; he's so NOT a romantic hero. He's gorgeous as all hell, but then he has these expressions and is OCD about cleaning and loves Gone With The Wind and it's all equally adorable and ridiculous, heh.

she didn't just ~swoon for his charm, she was all "Cocky much?" and oh I love you, Caroline.

YES. And the only reason she ~went for his at all was because she was having esteem issues and he was the first guy who looked at her in that time, so. Nothing to do with him. MY BB. <3

YES TO ALL YOUR THOUGHTS. I love S1 Caroline with all her insecurities and bitchiness and spectacular ability to always say the wrong thing; I think it's amazing how real she was as a character. She got no sympathy from fandom because she was so abrasive and had jealousy issues and everything; but those are the EXACT reasons I loved her so much. I shall always miss the potential that was human!Caroline, although she is such a bamf as a vampire that we can't even complain!
a girl like that: dc2cassiehayes on November 20th, 2011 03:08 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha, thank you! Can't claim any credit for the blue one though, snagged from emily_reich buuut the first is mine :)

But the best is that it's his flirty-smile-thing and he's so obviously trying to literally ~seduce Alaric into being friends with him again.

LOL, THIS SO MUCH. Oh Damon, how do you even. And I totally agree about the not-a-romantic-hero thing, and I love that he is way too ridiculous and nitpicky and makes funny faces, hee.

And the only reason she ~went for his at all was because she was having esteem issues and he was the first guy who looked at her in that time, so. Nothing to do with him.

YES. And I think that this is what interested me the most about the early dynamic in some ways, is that the show didn't romanticize it, the show didn't have Caroline as falling head over heels for the dangerous vampire even though he feeds on her! No, Caroline wanted nothing to do with it, Caroline tried to run away, Caroline threw a lamp at him, Caroline was sassy and snarky and so resilient to being pushed around that it only happened when he compelled her. She became entrapped in the relationship but for her, it was about one-upping Elena, it was about the fact that a guy was showing interest in her when she was feeling insecure, but it was never about her falling for Damon.

She got no sympathy from fandom because she was so abrasive and had jealousy issues and everything; but those are the EXACT reasons I loved her so much.

YES TO THIS AND EVERYTHING. Caroline was by far one of the most real characters, IMO, and it seemed like people either loved or hated her for exactly that reason :/ And I completely agree about missing the potential she could have had as a human but not complaining because she IS such a freaking bamf as a vampire, and she did get over some of her insecurities, and even though I loved her for having them originally, I still love that she got over them because of course I want her to grow. And I think that was probably the most rambly roundabout thought ever, but I hope it makes sense, lol.



sassy, classy, and a bit smart-assy: TVD: Carebadboy_fangirl on November 17th, 2011 09:40 pm (UTC)
You can have a word: PERFECT.

And I can have a word: HEARTACHE.

You manage to make me feel sorry for both of them; and the irony is really that in some ways, Damon's abusing himself. All the mean, nasty things he did and said to Caroline seems to me to be the self-recrimination that he never faces.

So awful, but also worthy of exploration.

I'd copy and paste, but there's not enough room in one comment for ALL THE WORDS. Just know I loved them all.
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 01:05 pm (UTC)
YOU READ A DAMON/CAROLINE FIC? Well, do I love you, or what! (Although I suppose it's more Caroline/her issues, Damon/his issues, haha.)

And the irony is really that in some ways, Damon's abusing himself. All the mean, nasty things he did and said to Caroline seems to me to be the self-recrimination that he never faces.

With Damon, it's pretty much a cycle of abuse; I love how his relationship with Katherine was so much a role-reversing mirror to his relationship with Caroline. He was so innocent in 1864, so completely awestruck and in love and Katherine played him perfectly; and then he did the exact same thing to Caroline, who always seems the most innocent out of her and Bonnie and Elena, since Elena had just faced death and Bonnie's always been much more mature. And of course, they both feel like they can't match up to people around them, and Damon knew EXACTLY what to say to hurt Caroline, because that's the exact same thing that'll hurt him.

God, I did not mean to write an essay, I swear; their dysfunctionality just makes me verbose, lol
Gabby: candicegabby227 on November 17th, 2011 10:19 pm (UTC)
OMG. That was such a good story. I really liked it, although it is kind of sad (but it always is, when it comes to Damon/Caroline, right? Even though I kind of ship them pretty hard. That's your fault, btw). Anyway, good story. You really captured Caroline's personality IMO.
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 01:07 pm (UTC)
although it is kind of sad (but it always is, when it comes to Damon/Caroline.

Oh, I know, right? I think I've written one semi-normal, semi-happy fic for them, but the rest all of the "oh my god, how do I ship this so much when they're so horrific and dysfunctional" variety. BUT THE SEX AND THE SNARK. I am convinced they'd be epic in both.

Thank you so much! :D
Gabby: stefangabby227 on November 19th, 2011 04:17 am (UTC)
idk, if you ask me, I think that Damon/Caroline have the possibility to be EPIC. They're so dysfunctional that, I think, they'd have a chance to be semi-happy if they were so inclined (which is why most of my Damon/Caroline fics have happy endings. I just think they have the possibility to be a truly kick-ass couple.).
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 19th, 2011 01:26 pm (UTC)
Oh, I definitely agree; I can see them snarking their way through eternity and falling in love over an eternity (with them, it definitely won't be less than 500 years, heh). And they're both so messed up, they'll probably cancel each other out and won't allow the other to whine. Aww. I REALLY WANT DAMON/ELENA/STEFAN/CAROLINE ENDGAME. OT4 for the win!
Gabby: candice yellowgabby227 on November 20th, 2011 04:49 am (UTC)
I ship Damon/Caroline so hard. I need help. I love them, but at the same time I love Damon/Elena (a LOT) so it's hard for me to pick one. I practically ship everybody with everybody - srsly, people on this show are just so shippable, tbh. Oh, and I totally agree your OT4 comment - just, yes!

BTW - you should check out my new story I've been working on, it's Damon/Caroline but Caroline's got issues (more than normal). Here's the link, for when you do have time to read (I know you're busy): http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7507675/1/Unbroken
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 20th, 2011 09:01 pm (UTC)
Haha, in this show, it's totally okay, you know, to love them both ;) I ship lots of conflicting ships, so I've stopped trying to decide even; as and when any of my ships gets screentime (which is ALL THE TIME, because I ship everything), I get happy :D

OOH, FIC. Also, Caroline/Issues is the best ship ever. I shall definitely read it! Although I have exams right now (and I'm making stupid ICON BATCHES instead of studying, ugh).
unoshotunoshot on November 17th, 2011 11:22 pm (UTC)
This thing you have written is beautiful, okay. Caroline with all her insecurities and her trapped bitterness and her desperate desire to please; Damon and his fucked up, playful affections (because he can be affectionate in moments, even if he doesn't mean it -- if he's in control, if she can't tell anyone, if it's their little secret). Preludes to Andi.

the corner of his lips turning down in a way that will remind her he’s more boy than man. But he’s more monster than boy. Most times she’s never sure which.

Yes, this.
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 01:13 pm (UTC)
You are very nice to me as always, I notice. But oh my god, Caroline/her insecurities is OTP, she was literally the only realistic character on this show in the Pilot, and her relationship with Damon was horrific and excellent all at the same time.

And her desperate desire to please.

THIS IS HER. Even Caroline/Matt was awful because of this D:

Damon and his fucked up, playful affections

YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THIS BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FIRST SEASON /burn, but Damon is oddly playful and affectionate with her sometimes and that has to be the most terrifying thing ever.

Thank you for basically getting the whole thing (EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FIRST SEASON) <3
unoshotunoshot on November 19th, 2011 01:14 am (UTC)
You are very nice to me as always, I notice.

I assure you it is not difficult! I promise I'm very lazy, so I can only shower praise on those who deserve it.

YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THIS BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FIRST SEASON /burn, but Damon is oddly playful and affectionate with her sometimes and that has to be the most terrifying thing ever.

I HAVE SEEN HIM WITH ANDI (and also screencaps w/Caroline) and really I just credited the show/Somerhalder with a certain degree of consistency and then extrapolated from there. ;)
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 19th, 2011 01:24 pm (UTC)
Heh, our mutual love for each other makes us indulge in so much PDA :D

Haha, you're right there about consistency; although Damon with Caroline was a lot more humanly terrifying than Damon with Andie, but that is also because Damon was the "bad guy" then and you weren't supposed to root for him, as it stood. (Good luck with making people not like early-S1-Damon when he has all the one-liners Ian's face, show.)
Ashley: damonsleuthinpumps on November 18th, 2011 12:36 am (UTC)
Beautiful, beautiful, GORGEOUS. More than anything I love the way this reads almost like a song or a poem. You've created some wonderful imagery and woven it into this rhythm with repeating choruses. I really love the pairing as well. It's so tragic and unhealthy and full of weakness that it's kind of perfect. I'll definitely be thinking about this story for weeks.
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 01:19 pm (UTC)
What a very lovely comment! I appreciate this comment so much on a purely critical level separate from the fic, all by itself, because you've used the extended metaphor of poetry so well in it. My god, that was possibly the oddest thing I've ever said D:

It's so tragic and unhealthy and full of weakness that it's kind of perfect.

God, yes, this. This is exactly why I ship them.

Thanks a lot, that's really nice of you :)
nonky: Caroline and Damonnonky on November 18th, 2011 04:03 am (UTC)
This is so good. I ship Damon and Caroline in their unhealthy eater and eaten relationship far more than I like to admit all the time. He was so undeniably boyfriendy at times, indulgent and tolerant of her tastes and also cruel and exploitive.

It's a great dichotomy there, where the only one more conflicted about their destructive relationship than Caroline is Damon. I like that the show has move them beyond it, but that first season with Caroline as both prey and heckler to Damon's plans was brilliant in a way it's hard to express. Excellent take on it, and now I ship Caroline/issues.

(Don't tell anyone I was here, though, I'm supposed to be NaNoing.)
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 01:27 pm (UTC)
I ship Damon and Caroline in their unhealthy eater and eaten relationship far more than I like to admit all the time.

Yeah, I'm pretty shameless about shipping them. I wax lyrical about Damon and consent and horrific and things and then ship them so hard, I don't even anymore D:

He was so undeniably boyfriendy at times, indulgent and tolerant of her tastes and also cruel and exploitative.

I find this absolutely fascinating; like, I'd like to write ALL THE FICS about this. It's something that never manifested itself later; because Damon with Andie was equally horrific, but he never had his real humanly cruel moments, as his redemption arc had started. Even that terrible scene where she's standing in her underwear and he basically feeds on her is a vampire thing, while "stupid, shallow, useless" is undeniably a human thing. I always ship all the wrong ships anyway :s

now I ship Caroline/issues.

OTP, ngl.

Don't tell anyone I was here, though, I'm supposed to be NaNoing.

I COULD NEVER DO THAT, I'm so incredibly allergic to work, and people actually writing two thousand words per day are fairly god-like. All the best!
Frances: TVD - Caroline - taking care of businessgoldy_dollar on November 18th, 2011 04:52 am (UTC)
Oh whoa. This is great.

I love that you drove straight into it - the abuse and Caroline being so young and her insecurity (omg, that line about how she thinks she will never be as beautiful as Elena oh Caroline D:).

Also love this:

(Katherine, he whispers sometimes, his hair plastered to his face, his cock still inside her, Katherine. She must have been some kind of a goddess in his time, Caroline decides, his reverence mingling with the sweat on her skin. An old goddess, with statues and worshippers to her name. Katherine. It’s a pretty name).

Because it weirdly humanized Damon in a fic where he was otherwise the abuser? And Caroline, not being jealous about it. Katherine is a pretty name. KILL ME.

Basically: I LOVE YOUR WRITING. WRITE ME ALL THE THINGS ALL THE TIME.
youcallitwinter: tonight i think i'll walk aloneyoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 01:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you <3 I do not know if you make it a habit to read D/C, but the fact that you did made me :D

Caroline being so young and her insecurity.

Those are my favorite things about Caroline; she always seems so young and innocent despite everything she's gone through (including being murdered and turning :s) and Caroline/her insecurities = OTP.

Damon is completely caught in a circle of abuse; he's pretty much Caroline's Katherine with all the abuse and none of the love. Man, what things do I ship even. D:

YOU WOULD GET TIRED IF I DID. RANDOM, FAR AWAY UPDATES ARE FOR THE GREATER GOOD, I SWEAR. (Besides I want you to write me things all the time, so).
Frances: TVD - Caroline - biggest heart in towngoldy_dollar on November 18th, 2011 06:29 pm (UTC)
Haha, I will read pretty much anything in TVD if the mood strikes or I know the author will treat it properly. I don't think I would read the MAJORITY of D/C fic to be honest. XD

Man, what things do I ship even. D:

*pats* TVD makes all of us question our morals.

YOU WOULD GET TIRED IF I DID. RANDOM, FAR AWAY UPDATES ARE FOR THE GREATER GOOD, I SWEAR.

THESE ARE NOT TRUTHS. I ALWAYS WANT YOUR UPDATES.
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 06:53 pm (UTC)
THAT ICON IS GORGEOUS. D: Caroline's smile is my favorite thing in the world, trufax.

Haha, I think I would too; because I genuinely do ship everyone/everyone on this show. Damon/Caroline has some excellent fic though, which makes me happy, heh/

MY MORAL COMPASS POINTS SOUTH NOW D:

Frances: TVD - Stefan Damon just a couple of monsgoldy_dollar on November 18th, 2011 07:03 pm (UTC)
Haha it was made by fiddlings LIKE MOST OF MY BEST TVD ICONS.

Damon/Caroline has some excellent fic though, which makes me happy, heh/

I can believe that. I think my worry about D/C fic would be ignoring or trivializing the abuse because yay romance. :|

MY MORAL COMPASS POINTS SOUTH NOW D:

THIS SHOW MAKES US SYMPATHIZE WITH SERIAL KILLERS. AND NOT IN A DEXTER "THEY ONLY KILL OTHER DEPRIVED KILLERS" WAY. JUST IN A LEGIT SYMPATHIZING WITH THEM WAY. What is my life.

youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 07:13 pm (UTC)
I know, I recognize the coloring. BEST ICONS EVER. (we also share the exact same tastes in ships, heh :D)

I can believe that. I think my worry about D/C fic would be ignoring or trivializing the abuse because yay romance. :|

That would be the actual worst, and this fandom is more than capable of it. Oddly enough, I've noticed it a lot more in S1 D/E fics which creates a nice dichotomy by establishing Caroline as a slut for having thrown herself at Damon, and makes Elena's resistance seem better in contrast. ugh.

YEAH, I'M PRETTY SURE MY RESPONSE TO THE RIPPER!STEFAN STORY-ARC WERE COMPLETELY OFF THE MORAL CHARTS ALTOGETHER. I don't even. D:
Francesgoldy_dollar on November 18th, 2011 07:21 pm (UTC)
And NEITHER of you have made me any 3x09 icons yet which is very rude. :p I actually kind of want one of that D/E ending scene? LOL WHO AM I.

Oddly enough, I've noticed it a lot more in S1 D/E fics which creates a nice dichotomy by establishing Caroline as a slut for having thrown herself at Damon, and makes Elena's resistance seem better in contrast. ugh.

Unsurprising, but STILL /o\. REMEMBER WHEN FANDOM WANTED ELENA TO BE JEALOUS OF ANDIE?

STEFAN HAS NEVER BEEN HOTTER TO ME. I NEED ALL THE THERAPY. D:
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 07:29 pm (UTC)
And NEITHER of you have made me any 3x09 icons yet which is very rude. :p

Hahaha, I shall be making lots of animated ones which I mostly don't use myself, and I'm guessing you don't too, so :P That ending scene was Elena handling herself and IT WAS THE BEST EVER.

REMEMBER WHEN FANDOM WANTED ELENA TO BE JEALOUS OF ANDIE?

UNFORTUNATELY, YES. MUCH TOO WELL *pokes fandom with stick*

STEFAN HAS NEVER BEEN HOTTER TO ME. I NEED ALL THE THERAPY. D:

SIMPATICO, BROTHER. He was just so ridiculously hot, oh my god. And as far as that episode ended, I think he's going to stay at that insane level of sexy. /fans
Frances: TVD - Stefan - come at me brogoldy_dollar on November 18th, 2011 07:32 pm (UTC)
I don't use a lot of animated icons, no. I DO LIKE LOOKING AT THEM THOUGH. So I can still admire them, hee. XD

He was just so ridiculously hot, oh my god. And as far as that episode ended, I think he's going to stay at that insane level of sexy. /fans

Plus he seems to be CRAZIER now that the compulsion is lifted and he's feeling things again?? To which I say, BRING ON CRAZY STEFAN. I AM SURE HE WILL BE A DELIGHT.
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 07:42 pm (UTC)
Same, I don't use them, but I do enjoy making them for no particular reason :D

HE IS CRAZIER. How random was ~stealing the coffins. Katherine's ideas are always A+++++ I WANT TO SEE HOW EVERYTHING WORKS OUT. Why isn't it January again? D:
Francesgoldy_dollar on November 18th, 2011 07:49 pm (UTC)
Hiatus is such a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I WANT MY SHOW BACK NOW IT HAS ALREADY BEEN GONE A WHOLE WEEK AND I THINK I AM HAVING WITHDRAWAL. On the other hand, now we can write ALL THE FIC and ALL THE META without the show coming along and jossing us for a while.
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 18th, 2011 07:56 pm (UTC)
Haha, that was actually why I was really glad about the hiatus as well; I can actually write a reaction post and make icons and read/write fic and COMMENT FICATHON FTW. However, I have exams in less than a week so the show not being around also might help me pass, hee. Or LJ might still help me fail :\