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08 March 2013 @ 02:18 pm
evidence of life: [fic] : tvd + tvd + btvs + peter pan  

title or description


so I may or may not have completely lost it and written some four fics for the multi-fandom comment ficathon right now. All prayers to be directed to this journal kthx. with plans to write more, dear god. also, the poem used throughout is Erica Jong's Evidence. If I write more, I shall probably add it here for ~thematic purposes.




a catalog of non-definitive acts
the vampire diaries | caroline; klaus/caroline | pg-13 | post 4x15
You're too pretty to let your own feelings interfere with my viewing pleasure.








Evidence of life:
snapshots,
hundreds of split-seconds
when the eyes glazed over
the hair stopped its growing,
the nails froze in fingertips,
the blood hung suspended
in its vessels.






That’s the first night he comes to her room when she’s not dying.

She turns around and he’s there, leaning against her table like he’s fought battles to win this right, and she needs him to get out.

“What do you want,” she asks. Because she’s a lot of things – insecure, shallow, useless – but she’s not stupid. That’s the one Damon got wrong.

His gaze sweeps unmistakably over her, and hey, what do you know, Damon was right about that as well. “Not what I meant” she says.

He doesn’t answer. He isn’t looking at her at all now for that matter, he’s looking past her at the photographs on her mirror and she resists the urge to cover them protectively. To not let him have her history like he wants her future. He doesn’t deserve Elena’s fringe from the eighth grade or Bonnie’s wide, metal braced smile.

But she doesn’t, because that would be ridiculous.

It annoys her though, the part where he’s not looking at her. Because who is he kidding anyway. He wants her. And he’s probably going to spout more poetic descriptions of what her world once was. Could be. Poetry like how Jeremy’s bloodless body was once aflush with the carmine hue of life. How Tyler’s eyes—

“Fuck off,” she says tiredly, (Do you want me to wash that mouth with soap and water, Care? Her dad would say. Except he wouldn’t. Because hey, her dad’s dead. She can curse now.)

“I thought,” he says, “you might need company.”

In this totally random moment it strikes her— his voice doesn’t sound strange anymore. She barely notices the accented inflections. He’s becoming familiar.

It’s the most terrifying feeling she’s ever known.

“I don’t need your company,” she says. And she thinks—once, a long long time ago, she would’ve flipped her hair back, emphasized the need, emphasized the your, walked away with a slight sway, only noticeable if you look for it, because she spent hours watching the fashion channel and knows how it’s done. And they always look. Boys. Even when dead and a thousand years old.

But she doesn’t care enough, and she knows he’ll know it, because somehow he does.

Maybe she can get him to kill her instead. Or at least she can try hard. Say all the things she really wants to. Get herself killed. And then maybe he’ll be remorse-ridden and write about it or something and her history will be the sum of his memories. Which possibly wouldn’t be terrible or anything, because she’s beautiful and strong and full of light in them, and that’s not a bad way to be remembered. She’ll be beautiful and strong and full of light forever in the pages of a book, and nobody will ever know that she once deliberately dropped ink on Elena’s dress just before junior-prom because it was purple and gorgeous and suited her skin-tone to perfection.

He’ll have time enough anyway, because he’s going to live longer than all of them, she knows. Even if they live forever, he’ll have lived longer.

She slips a strap off her shoulder, still stained from mopping his brother’s ashes of the floor. Thinks of Jeremy lying on the floor, glassy-eyed. Thinks of the replicated emptiness in Elena’s eyes. Somehow this isn’t as important; dropping her shirt in front of the man she hates. She’s covered with him anyway. Or at least with the ashes of the man who shared his blood. And she’s read enough in class to be able to carry a metaphor through.

“I hate you,” she says, unzipping her pants, they sound unusually loud as they hit the floor, “and nothing will ever change that. I hate you so much, I’ve already stabbed you with a white-oak stake thrice since you last blinked.”

If she’s dead; like, really, really dead, then she’ll only be as dead as all the people who’re dead. As dead as Vicki, as dead as Alaric, as dead as Jenna, as dead Grams, as dead as Carol, as dead as Jeremy, as dead as her dad and no deader. She's already died once, it can't be that bad to stay dead, considering so many people seem to be doing it.

“I could compel you,” he says easily, but at least he’s looking at her and not the mirror anymore, “to love me, you know, sweetheart.”

She laughs. Sort of. Almost. “You could compel me to love you. You can’t compel me to be in love with you.” She’s a vampire. And she knows some things now.

He’s vaguely impressed, she knows, even though he’s looking at her hands unclasping her bra.

She doesn’t bother with vampire speed. She doesn’t bother at all these days. Maybe she turned off the humanity switch accidentally while she was sleeping or something. Or maybe she was always a cold-hearted bitch. She thinks of Elena’s tearful gaze as she looked at her ruined dress. (“God, I’m so sorry, Lena. I don’t know how—shit. I’m so, so sorry. I’m so clumsy, god, I should be institutionalized.”) Yeah, the latter. Definitely.

“You’re stunning.” He says suddenly, and she hates him. He’s doing this wrong. They're playing a part and he's going off-text, and he can't. Because now it’s more, because his voice is lower and he’s a bastard who killed people she loves and he’s the hot guy who looked at her like she was the one and god, she hates him so fucking much.

She wears her nightdress with vampire speed. And maybe he has the kind of superpowers where it doesn’t make a difference to him and he can slow her down or pause her movements, but it’s a point she’s making.

“Fuck off,” she says again, lamely, brushing past him, but only because he’s taking up too much space. Too much air. He doesn’t need to breathe and he doesn’t need to use up her air, “go die in a ditch.”

Sometimes she hates being seventeen.

“I’m not going to kill you,” he says, when she’s switched off the lights and gotten under the covers. He’s on the other side of the door now, but he’s still far too loud because her heart doesn’t beat anymore and every other sound is amplified, “sorry.”

Somehow he always does. Know.

She closes her eyes.

::













park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor
the vampire diaries | elena | pg-13 | post 4x15 | non-linear
I wanna be a bottle blonde/I don’t know why but I feel conned/I wanna be an idle teen/I wish I hadn’t been so clean








Evidence of life;
a split second's death
to live forever.






When she’s six, she brings a puppy home from school, and mommy and daddy look at her, half-amused and half-exasperated.

“Elena, you know you can’t keep it, honey. It requires a lot of work to keep a dog.”

“Jeremy requires a lot of work,” she points out, because he broke the vase yesterday; mother’s favorite vase, the one Aunt Jenna got from that weird place with the long name, which is really no different from all the other weird places with the long name that she got all the other stuff from— her Aunt Jenna is kind of the coolest ever, “and we keep him.”

That argument doesn't work, which is, like, so totally wrong, because Jeremy is much dirtier than the puppy and is too stupid to get that you don’t eat dirt because Mrs. Reynolds from homeroom says it has germs and everyone except stupid Jeremy knows that germs are bad.

So she invents one with her words instead. And she can keep it.

::

When she’s sixteen she buries them. (Her parents, not the dog. Maybe the dog’s still alive and seventy in dog years. That’s irony. Somehow. Caroline talks to her again these days, because she’s the girl with the dead parents and it’d be terrible not to.)

A year (six months, fourteen days, seven hours) later Jeremy is black soot and dust. Except this time he's someone else's mess to clean up.

(See, the thing is, she’d usually follow the rules of narrative and structure so there isn’t an idyllic childhood scene and a murder following as a non-sequitur of the worst kind— she killed her parents and her brother, just fyi— but she’s done following rules. And if that messes your expectations of what this is, stop reading.)

::

This one time Caroline looks at her and goes, “I could frame you.”

She’s painting her nails, and she wants to do them with the florescent green that Caroline’s done hers in, but it might not look as good. And then Caroline will know it doesn’t look as good, and every time she looks at her afterwards, even if she doesn’t say anything, her eyes will have a hint of ‘the green nailpolish suits me better than it does you.’

She picks red instead. Red is the safest. It always looks good.

“What?”

Caroline makes a lens with her hands, rising from her bed, “maybe I won’t be the news-lady. I could be the director of a blockbuster Hollywood flick and you could star in it.”

Caroline always wants to be everything all at once, she knows. Caroline always wants everything there is to want. But Elena knows that's not how the world works. If you want too much, you end up with nothing. The trick is to want just enough and no more.

She paints another coat. It does look good. She knew it would. Besides red goes with everything. (Caroline’s will clash. Bright green and that orange dress her daddy got her last week would clash so horribly.) “Wouldn’t you want to be the star in your film?”

“That’s obvious,” Caroline says, rolling her eyes through her fake lens, “but you could be the best friend. That’s a huge role in all romantic comedies. And even the supporting male cast is pretty decent these days. I’ll take Matt obviously, because he’s blonde and gorgeous and I’m blonde and gorgeous. And you could— Lockwood? I don’t know, he’s an ass, but he’s not difficult on the eyes, you know?”

She laughs because this is Caroline. Being kind. This is her version of yes, I know you liked him, and I forgive you for being lame.

(She sleeps with Matt four years later, and just for a moment, she imagines blonde against blonde. It’s beautiful. Caroline doesn’t talk to her anymore.)

::

“You can say something now,” she says, “I know you’re dying to.”

Caroline is silent. She’s standing stiffly, awkwardly, like she doesn’t know what to do with her body. Caroline who’s always known exactly what to do with her body.

I could frame you, she thinks. Not with a video-camera, obviously. Maybe in a photograph. Confined to the boundaries of four edges. Because that’s all Caroline and her precious humanity are. Dead, tied, even if pretty to look at.

She licks a drop of fresh blood off the corner of her mouth, and makes a sound at the back of her throat in exasperation as another drop falls on her already stained blue shirt.

But that’s okay, really. Red goes with everything.

::

(– Don’t tell anyone this, but the first guy she liked was Tyler Lockwood. He was an ass, Caroline always said and Bonnie nodded, as they looked at him playing the fool and flipping his hair in a way he obviously knew was attractive.

But he looked at her once, and grinned that half-grin in a way he obviously knew was attractive and her heart skipped a beat and she blushed and—

Caroline always notices everything, “Come on, Elena, seriously?

Bonnie laughs, “oh, stop it, Caroline, she doesn’t.”

“I don’t,” she said hurriedly.

(But the hero in her story has initials that begin with T.L. and he sometimes flips his dark hair in a way that he obviously knows is attractive.))

::

The first boy she brings home— that’s what she calls it now— home. Like, where the heart is. And Damon and Stefan is definitely where her heart is. Or if not her heart, her fangs and her bite-marks and her blood and all those things that substitute poetry.

She left that sentence incomplete, but the first boy she brings home looks at her through glazed eyes like he loves her. (You love me, she’d said, looking into his eyes, and then he did.)

Damon look at their joined hands, “Elena,” he says. And she waits. Because she has time. But it’s just that. Elena. Her name. Like, Not Katherine. Elena. A non-standard signifier. She is not 'Elena' or 'Katherine'. She just is.

She kisses the boy right in front of him.

“Stop it,” he says, through gritted teeth. And she hopes it hurts him enough to make him switch it off, because why doesn’t everyone?  If this is what it feels like, why doesn’t everyone?

She tries to simulate feeling, play-act, because she remembers the motions, even if she doesn’t remember what it used to feel like to love him. To love. Whatever.

She moans as the boy lightly bites with human teeth, doesn’t break skin. Because she can. Because the blood never rushes through her skin, she doesn't blush anymore and nobody can tell any longer.

When she bites his neck in turn, the blood stains her blue shirt and Damon watches. It doesn’t feel like anything she’s ever felt before. It doesn’t feel like anything.

::

(Her desk drawer and the notebook safely locked inside it are the last things to burn.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, she’d written once, in perfect cursive, because clichés like that look good in perfect cursive.

Well—)

::













russian roulette
buffy the vampire slayer | dawn/spike | r | post s.5 | underage
Say you’re sorry, I can take it/say you’ll wait, say you won’t/say you love me, say you don’t/I can make my own mistakes








Evidence of life:
that we could meet for the first time,
open our scars & stitches to each other,
weave our legs around
each other's patchwork dreams
& try to salve each other's  wounds
with love.

if it was love.




He runs out of two centuries of remembered lullabies two days into it.

And then he’s just black leather and cigarette smoke and a whole host of fuck sorry, bit, couldn’t save her, couldn’t do anything, should've been me—

Why should you have saved her
, she wants to ask, because she's not real and he's dead and they have no right to mourn when there are people both real and alive who loved her too.

Instead, she sits by the foot of her bed and lets her hair hang in front of her face, like she used to when she was very little.  (She was never very little.)

“It’s okay,” she says, forgives instead of being forgiven. It’s easier to do that.

::

Some days, she’s six months old. Some days, she’s a million.

“Old enough,” she says, the practiced seduction slipping into easy defiance. Seeping through her bones till her whole body is nothing but defiance of everything she was made of; memories and bright green light.

“Not if you have to say that, you aren’t,” he replies.

She glares at him, fingernails biting into palm, before turning away, “whatever.”

Some days, she’s fifteen.

::

The bit asks him over and over, her voice low, breathy, like all she knows about it, she learnt from the telly.

It’s only this one time when he comes back from the hunt and she’s sitting on his crypt.

“Please,” she says, just once, brittle bones and sharp angles, no longer playing dress-up, “Please.”

Isn’t right, he thinks, wouldn’t do that, not to you, sweet bit. Good men don’t—

Wouldn’t do that, he thinks when he’s inside her, wouldn’t do that, he thinks when she’s around him. Good men don’t—

::

She moves away whenever he touches her reverentially. It’s the only way he’s ever known how.

Drusilla (mad and lost and alone and broken and sliced and Spike, Ms. Edith has been so naughty today) and Buffy (she falls and falls and he’s never even touched her and still she falls and falls and—) and the only way he’s ever known how.

“No.”

She hides her face in her hair and he strokes her and he almost hates her with a love so strong it’s every woman he’s ever loved and hated and now she’s here and it’s the only way he’s known how.

Good men don’t—

(See, here’s the thing to know about him: he’s not a good man. He’s not good. He’s not a man.)

::

He bruises her once. And he touches it again and again like he can’t believe he did it and he says sorry again and again till it’s jumbled in her head and she’s not sure what the word means anymore.

She doesn’t say she doesn’t mind because he likes to believe she does. And the only way she believes these days is if he does.

She fills the gaps in the head within the unending litany of his apologies sorrysorrysorry.

Sorry—I couldn’t save—sorry sweet bit, broke—sorry—never loved—sorry—I hurt you so—sorry—sorry—

::

Good girls don’t— a teacher she’d never had, had once said in some grade she was never in.

Drusilla—Buffy—Spike likes fixing things. She knows this. And, it follows, Spike likes broken things. He slips his fingers inside her and maybe turns the key a little because she can function for a while afterwards. She’s a wind-up doll.

Good girls don’t

(See, here’s the thing to know about her: she’s not a good girl. She’s not good. She’s not a girl.)

::

If it was lust or hunger
& not love,
if it was all that they accused us of
(that we accused ourselves)--
I do not think it matters.
::












the girl who did
peter pan | peter/wendy | pg
there's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever.







At times i hardly can believe in you,
except this ache,
this longing in my gut,
this emptiness,
which theorizes you.
because if there is emptiness this deep,
there must be fullness somewhere.








This is how long forever lasts—

He kisses her. Once. Cool, curious, disinterested. And she is a woman.


::



“Please come play, Wendy,” Peter says sometimes, still, and she thinks she may like the way his arms close around the bow.

“No.” she says.

::



He laughs like a boy when he runs his fingers through her hair.

She shades her eyes against his touch.

(“Will you love me forever.”

“Yes,” he says, immediately.

She would have liked him to wait a little.)



::



“Grow up,” she says, once, when she is very angry. It is what mummy used to say when Wendy had been naughty.

Peter laughs, Peter always laughs, and it makes her angrier, “why would anyone want to grow up, Wendy?”

She doesn’t know. (She thinks she might know. But only sometimes. Only when he looks at her and she lowers her eyes and she knows.)



::



“You don’t belong here anymore,” Tinkerbell says.

You have never belonged here, Tinkerbell doesn’t say.

“I do,” she answers, even though it was not a question. Like the marriage vows that mummy and daddy had once told her about.

Sacred, they'd said and smiled at each other. She does not know what that word means.

(There is no marriage in Neverland. There are no priests, no religion, no birth, no death. There are no children who are not lost. There are none but children who are lost.)



::

I belong here.

But then Peter smiles, bright-eyed, open, and kisses her—

—and she is unlost.

::

 
 
 
Ishi-chan: klarolineishi_chan on March 8th, 2013 11:07 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha. Maybe it's because I'm already pretty down lately, but the Klaroline one ruined me. I love that she swears because her father isn't there anymore, nobody's there anymore and she really has no fucks to give. And yet she's so sadly broken :(
youcallitwinter: the lonesome all understandyoucallitwinter on March 9th, 2013 06:58 pm (UTC)
Why have you been down lately? D: I hope Hook's face makes you feel better! And I love the idea of Klaus and Caroline having completely ~undramatic interactions, where they're both like 'okay Caroline hates Klaus with every fibre of her being, moving on'.
(no subject) - ishi_chan on March 9th, 2013 09:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on March 9th, 2013 09:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ishi_chan on March 9th, 2013 10:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on March 9th, 2013 10:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
kick_galvanic, zagzagael, skull_theatre: tvd ot3bleodswean on March 8th, 2013 11:41 pm (UTC)
You. Are so good. So. Good.
youcallitwinter: all we know is distanceyoucallitwinter on March 9th, 2013 06:58 pm (UTC)
This comment made me :DD
12cubed: toph is my spirit animal12_12_12 on March 9th, 2013 02:59 am (UTC)
You're the only person out there who can get me to read Klaus/Caroline, you know that? :D

God, these were all stunning. Ack, Caroline being petty and spilling stuff on Elena's dress! And Elena's POV on Caroline in the 2nd fic, you got that teen-girl vibe so so spot on, PERFECTION. ♥
youcallitwinter: measured my life in coffee spoons.youcallitwinter on March 9th, 2013 07:01 pm (UTC)
You seriously read the Klaus/Caroline? ALL THE AWARDS. I would never read anything for a ship that I detest. I never even read anything for a ship that I'm moderately interested in. :O Thank you!

BUT TEENAGE GIRL IS MY FAVORITE THING TO WRITE. I would be SO HAPPY if TVD was nothing but the girls sniping at each other and having petty issues and sleepovers and being best friends forever and occasionally ruining each other's lives.
Alexia Lisa Drake: Vampire Diaries - Caroline Crushalexia_drake on March 9th, 2013 03:36 am (UTC)
I loved the Klaroline fic. This is my favorite part:
“You’re stunning.” He says suddenly, and she hates him. He’s doing this wrong. They're playing a part and he's going off-text, and he can't. Because now it’s more, because his voice is lower and he’s a bastard who killed people she loves and he’s the boy who looked at her like she was the one and god, she hates him so fucking much.

This sound so much like her, and if she ends up falling for him, I'm sure she'll hate herself all the way just like that ! lol

“Elena, you know you can’t keep it, honey. It requires a lot of work, a lot of effort.”
“Jeremy requires a lot of work,” she points out


LOL That's brilliant, and a very funny idea ! I really wonder how you can come up with that kind of cool and original lines to include in your fics.

Haha, about Dawn, the following lines reminded me of the time my mother kept telling me that she was a damn key, so she should not be sad, or have any other feelings, be hungry, have homework, etc. That was funny :D
Good girls don’t— a teacher she’d never had once said in some grade she was never in.
...and maybe turns the key a little because she can function for a while afterwards. She’s a wind-up doll.
youcallitwinter: no more than a dream remembered.youcallitwinter on March 9th, 2013 07:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! ♥ I'm pretty sure that Klaus is set to leave the show before anything really happens, so everything I write now is pretty much fantasy wish-fulfillment D:

LOL That's brilliant, and a very funny idea ! I really wonder how you can come up with that kind of cool and original lines to include in your fics.

Haha, you are so nice, I think having six-year-old cousins constantly underfoot does this to a person :P

LOL, YOUR MOM SOUNDS AWESOME. But, also, the funny part is that I wrote the key thing without thinking, and then remembered 'OH WAIT, DAWN IS THE KEY, LOL THIS LINE MAKES CANON SENSE".
lynzie914: tvd - caroline + elenalynzie914 on March 9th, 2013 04:08 am (UTC)
You wrote my Caroline/Klaus fic!!!! I loved it. I love how she hated the idea of him getting a piece of her friends by looking at their pictures, that she was just so so tired of all the pieces that kept getting taken away from them and how it showed throughout. I loved her thought process and how she pushed him in an effort to get a reaction, to maybe get him to kill her and how she thought that might be okay, because he would remember her better than she was. And I just, you're Caroline voice is perfect! Bitter and angry and petty and just so perfect for how I picture her then. Thank you so much for writing it for me!

I loved the Elena fic, the running theme of the story and her interactions with Caroline. And her and the puppy was just adorable, "Jeremy requires a lot of work and we keep him." So wonderful and I can just picture a mini-Elena saying it. Also kind of heartbreaking when you consider what happened to him. Wonderfully done!
youcallitwinter: our winding roadsyoucallitwinter on March 9th, 2013 07:13 pm (UTC)
THAT PROMPT WAS AMAZING AND TOTALLY PERFECT CHARACTER-WISE. And I feel like I didn't do it justice, because I'm terrible at prompts. It should've technically been Klaus, but I'm terrified of attempting a Klaus-voice because he's so many things all at once that his own construction of himself would be hard to pin down. (Okay, I obviously think way too much about these things.) But I love the idea of Klaus and Caroline developing a history of ~undramatic moments, where nobody says anything worth repeating, but they just sort of...stand and snark at each other. Yeah. (Petty Caroline is my favorite basically.)

Thank you! Elena is possibly the character I've written the most for in this fandom, so I actually kind of LOVE the idea of the switch being off as a coping mechanism (even if I'm ~rage at how it happened) and how it changes her behavior. SO MUCH CAN BE DONE WITH THIS.
Maeve: DW: You & Memarble_rose on March 9th, 2013 07:01 am (UTC)
I LOVE IT ALL. I don't have anything more constructive than that. I love Klaus/Caroline so much. SO MUCH. I don't care about fandom politics. I don't care that they're not popular for whatever reason (SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THE REASON I CAN'T THINK OF ONE WTF). I feel like everything about the current season is problematic as FUCK, but I won't be able to tell just how problematic until it's all wrapped up and concluded, so I'm done wasting my energy being upset and/or outraged. That means I'm left in my happy, ignorance-is-bliss shippy bubble where everything is about eye-sex and make outs and FIC. Especially your fic because your interpretation of the characters usually lines up with mine, which means your fic always hits home with me. So...awesome. I think I'm done yapping at you now.

Oh wait. No I'm not. I didn't even mention anything about your Peter/Wendy piece. I am ENDLESSLY fascinated by Peter Pan. The live action movie is one of my favorites of all time. My favorite part of this fic is this:

Peter laughs, Peter always laughs, and it makes her angrier, “why would anyone want to grow up, Wendy?”

She doesn’t know. (She thinks she might know. But only sometimes. Only when he looks at her and she lowers her eyes and she knows.)


GUH. This is so lovely and understated and charged. Okay. Enough gushing. Obviously, it's time for me to go to bed.
youcallitwinter: the way that I want youyoucallitwinter on March 9th, 2013 07:23 pm (UTC)
I love Klaus/Caroline so much. SO MUCH. I don't care about fandom politics.

Haha, the weird thing is that apparently they're really popular in larger fandom, but I don't see it? Except for fans making petitions about how they should always be ~together or something, which, well. BUT I LOVE EVERYTHING THEY CHOOSE TO BE. Because I see it as completely deliberate. Although I CAN understand people reading it as overly romanticized and completely unaware and thus disliking it. I'm actually ridiculously fascinated with the idea of Klaus and Caroline developing a history of irrelevant moments where basically they move past the ~angst and the ~drama and just have casual eye-sex and snark and catch each other at odd awkward moments and behave like the worst movie couple in teenage romance history basically haha.

I am ENDLESSLY fascinated by Peter Pan.

I AM TOO. I don't know who said this but:

"Peter Pan, in its essentiality, is a tragedy."

ACCURATE. I just find the whole conceptualization amazing and especially with Wendy as the figure of contrast!
this our chameleon: btvs spawnjustwolf on March 9th, 2013 08:49 pm (UTC)
I love your Spike/Dawn fic. Your writing is beautiful: spare, but so evocative. I really like the way you compare them and how their stories mirror each other's. The comparison with Dawn and Spike's other lovers is wonderful too.

I liked all your observation, but this line particularly struck a chord with me: She moves away whenever he touches her reverentially. It’s the only way he’s ever known how.

You have some wonderful details in there too. You really created how broken they both were and how painful the whole situation was. Lovely work.
youcallitwinter: the abc of growing up.youcallitwinter on March 9th, 2013 09:23 pm (UTC)
I adore these two in all their forms and they will always be the perfect bromance for me, simply because they were so unexpected and delightful. But I also ship this hard, so D: But that period between seasons 5 and 6 is extremely fascinating to me because I would have loved to see how they handled the grief together, because somehow they're the two with the least right to mourn? As in I can't help feeling that it'd constantly be at the back of their minds; the fact that Dawn isn't real and her memories are constructed, while Spike was never anything to Buffy at all at the time, so their grief is sort of...secondary to the ~real grief of the Scoobies or Angel or the rest. And I think they would've just been together the entire time because "till the end of the world". ugh, they give me way too many feelings. Thank you so much btw!
(no subject) - justwolf on March 10th, 2013 09:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on March 11th, 2013 07:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - justwolf on March 12th, 2013 09:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
hear me roar: tvd; light and sunshinemagisterequitum on March 9th, 2013 09:39 pm (UTC)
I really loved Caroline's thought process and her attitude in the first little ficlet. It really is what I think she'd be feeling and thinking like, and him not behaving how she wants him to and needs him to.

And then Elena in the second one, breaking my heart! But oh so lovely and how you put in brattiness with Caroline too, loving it. I wish the show did more with them and Bonnie with that.
youcallitwinter: yesterday upon the stair.youcallitwinter on March 9th, 2013 10:15 pm (UTC)
I think Caroline being bratty and seventeen (forever) is possibly my most favorite thing in this fandom. Canon makes a huge deal about Caroline vs. 2.0: The New and Improved Vampiric Version, but I think she's absolutely flawless in the first couple of episodes where she's basically saying all the wrong (and sometimes truly awful) things.

Thank you! I really wish we got more them in the show, in a way that didn't also involve the boys each time D: or, y'know, involved boys, but in a sleepover sort-of way, not Till The End of The World Epic Loves of Our Lives sort of way.
almost but not quite: tswift redmarble_sharp on March 10th, 2013 03:45 am (UTC)
I came for the 'Pan and stayed for the stories from shows I've never watched. All of it's great! Nice work!!
youcallitwinter: keep the streets empty for meyoucallitwinter on March 10th, 2013 06:46 am (UTC)
Haha, wow, that's amazing, I very much appreciate you taking time out to read fic from fandoms you're not familiar with!
salustrasalustra on March 10th, 2013 06:21 am (UTC)
The spike/dawn fic was a thing of beauty. Tragic and lovely.
youcallitwinter: a different side of me.youcallitwinter on March 10th, 2013 06:48 am (UTC)
First time writing those two, so I'm really glad you liked it!
catteo: [tvd]caroline your love is like a thiefcatteo on March 10th, 2013 09:40 am (UTC)
YOUUUUUUUUUUU.

Where have you and your glorious fic been hiding? These are all seriously stunning. Like, there's this common thread of loss and hopelessness that seems to link them all (which I hope isn't a reflection of your general state of mind).

I would like to point out that your Caroline/Klaus is basically the only acceptable face of that pairing. The one where Klaus is hopelessly in love and she knows it but she hates him too much to let him down easy. WONDERFUL.

Please don't be gone so long from writing world the next time! Also I would like to see the full poem because it seems totally beautiful.
youcallitwinter: you who never arrived.youcallitwinter on March 10th, 2013 11:12 am (UTC)
Hee, I THOUGHT I WAS WRITING WAY TOO MUCH, NOT HIDING. :D

Like, there's this common thread of loss and hopelessness that seems to link them all (which I hope isn't a reflection of your general state of mind).

Haha, it could not be further from my general state of mind; it's just that I seem incapable of writing anything but tragedy, which is ridiculous and why is this a thing and if I had my way and my hand ever cooperated, I'd be writing happy, snarky gen-fic all the time. INSTEAD, THIS HAPPENS.

I'm am totally :DD that you read the Klaus/Caroline, thank you so much!

The poem IS beautiful, but it seems to be oddly unavailable on the internetz D: I shall post it here for you!

ETA: I found a better, cleaner version so I posted that!

Edited at 2013-03-10 11:26 am (UTC)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on March 10th, 2013 11:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
upupa_epops: [tvd] Elena compelledupupa_epops on March 10th, 2013 10:12 am (UTC)
OMG ELENA.

Of course cliches look best in cursive. But of course.

I love how you show that there was always this numbness in her. It's not a new thing, it's not a switch-off thing. It's a writer thing. Things hurt, they're real, and Elena knows it all... but she also can't turn off the words, can't turn off thinking how to say "pain" in a pretty way.

Thank you so much for writing this <333333333.
youcallitwinter: and my eyes are wide openyoucallitwinter on March 10th, 2013 11:16 am (UTC)
THIS IS WHY I LIKE WRITING FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU GET THINGS.

I am always fascinated by Elena's desire to be a writer and that's always how I write her, even though the show seems to have dropped the ball on that particular arc. Elena and narrative and Elena constructing narrative are my favorite things (as everyone well knows by now), so yes, I'd like to imagine that all that the switch being ~off does is give her freedom to do everything she's always wanted to.

Thank you for prompting that GORGEOUS and ridiculously fitting song :DDD
(no subject) - upupa_epops on March 10th, 2013 11:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on March 10th, 2013 11:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - upupa_epops on March 10th, 2013 11:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on March 10th, 2013 04:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - upupa_epops on March 10th, 2013 04:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on March 10th, 2013 05:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
dancing till the world ends: tvd: caroline is my herolynnenne on March 10th, 2013 03:23 pm (UTC)
she resists the urge to cover them protectively. To not let him have her history like he wants her future. He doesn’t deserve Elena’s fringe from the eighth grade or Bonnie’s metal covered smile.

Oh, perfect. Terrific fic.
youcallitwinter: hell yeah.youcallitwinter on March 10th, 2013 04:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, glad you liked it :D
Lizzie: sansa stark|steelxx_pinkstar on March 11th, 2013 12:23 am (UTC)
ZOE U R TOO GOOD TO ME. JUST VOMITED TEARS OVER MY SCREEN BECAUSE PETER/WENDY YO.

omg the progression of the fic is killing me softly from

He kisses her. Once. Cool, curious, disinterested. And she is a woman.

to

But then Peter smiles, bright-eyed, open, and kisses her—

—and she is unlost.


WHY YOU GOTTA DESTROY ME IN THIS WAY? MY BABIES THO.
youcallitwinter: keep the streets empty for meyoucallitwinter on March 11th, 2013 06:54 pm (UTC)
YOU ARE MAKING ME WRITE THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT I'D RIGHT. But then you prompt that glorious thing and what am I supposed to do? The sheer tragedy of these two, guh.

ETA: Lol@right. But I'm going to leave it there because it totally works \o/

Edited at 2013-03-11 06:57 pm (UTC)
kissmegreen (Lyan): klarolinekissmegreen on March 11th, 2013 12:00 pm (UTC)
Caroline x Klaus ♥
This is so Caroline! But I very much enjoyed how he knew her intention since the start of her rant... he even apologised ~ so un-klaus-like >.<

You do this pairing oh so well ♥
youcallitwinter: all over the world tonight.youcallitwinter on March 11th, 2013 07:00 pm (UTC)
Haha, thank you! I really wanted Klaus to go all 'yeah okay, I know you want me to kill you, but I'm not going to, sorry about that.'

I'm so glad you like this, since I really haven't written them a lot!
Goosey: (Vampire Diaries) Save me a dance.keeper_of_stars on March 12th, 2013 04:51 am (UTC)
Yet another gorgeous Klaus/Caroline fic. I especially loved this line: To not let him have her history like he wants her future.
youcallitwinter: stranger than your sympathy.youcallitwinter on March 12th, 2013 08:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I find it impossible to fic them, so I'm glad it worked :D
(no subject) - keeper_of_stars on March 14th, 2013 04:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
LiveJournal: pingback_botlivejournal on March 16th, 2013 06:32 am (UTC)
Saturday, March 9, 2016 - TVD Newsletter #216
User ellensmithee referenced to your post from Saturday, March 9, 2016 - TVD Newsletter #216 saying: [...] by , R, Klaus/Caroline a catalog of non-definitive acts [...]
LiveJournal: pingback_botlivejournal on March 16th, 2013 06:33 am (UTC)
Saturday, March 9, 2016 - TVD Newsletter #216
User ellensmithee referenced to your post from Saturday, March 9, 2016 - TVD Newsletter #216 saying: [...] G, Caroline + Tyler + Katherine (Caroline/Tyler) park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor [...]
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Fic Rec
User my_glitterfee referenced to your post from Fic Rec saying: [...] ina | DE | Oneshot | Allgemein | P16 Und sowieso das Meiste der Autorin BUFFY Russian Roulette [...]
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Fic Rec Masterlist
User my_glitterfee referenced to your post from Fic Rec Masterlist saying: [...] BUFFY » russian roulette [...]