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17 May 2011 @ 07:37 pm
fic: and the world spins madly on  

title: and the world spins madly on
rating: pg-13
pairing: damon/elena, stefan/elena. post second season finale
summary: she pretends it never happened and he pretends he doesn't care it did. [damon's pov]



She sits with him all night and they look through books and papers for something, anything.

Sometimes she talks about Stefan. Stupid things, like how he’d text her ghastly poetry when she was sick and rhyme ‘Gilbert’ with ‘silver’ and the time he absolutely refused to let her wear green because her horoscope said it would bring her bad luck.

And seriously? They’ve been through wars and blood and death and everything in between, and that’s what she remembers about him? It’s lame and it’s ridiculous and it’s so fucking—

(He thinks he’d like to love like that. He thinks he’d like to be loved like that.)

-

The first time it happens, she’s drunk and he looks a little like Stefan.

-

They don’t talk about it, of course. She avoids him and acts like she isn’t and because this is Elena, it’s nothing if not obvious. She’s always two steps behind or three steps ahead, holding herself out of his gravity.

She pretends like it never happened and he pretends he doesn’t care it did. She takes to wearing these ridiculously huge glasses and ties her hair up and thinks it makes her look unattractive enough for him to not want her.

It doesn’t, but she should definitely get points for trying here.

-

The guilt never makes it out of her system. He can see it in the arch of her back, the curve of her hand, the bend of her head. Everything she does, everything she doesn’t say.

‘You could compel me,’ she says and doesn’t look at him, 'to forget. I just— please, Damon. Please.'

He should refuse. Tell her that she chose it, tell her that he can't forget and he won't let her either.

Instead he takes off her necklace because he’s pathetic when he’s in love.

-

The next time it happens, she doesn’t remember the first time it happened.

-

'It’s never going to happen again,' she tells him.

(It’s always never going to happen again).

-

They start over and over and over and overandoverandoverandover.

-

She says Stefan’s name, every single time. Each time she doesn’t remember and all the times he can’t forget.

Maybe someday he'll be able to fill their history with more than just blank pages.

-

 
 
 
zagzagael: tvd threesomezagzagael on May 17th, 2011 03:37 pm (UTC)
Yes, yes, yes!!!! This is just wonderful!
youcallitwinter: if you steal my sunshineyoucallitwinter on May 17th, 2011 04:30 pm (UTC)
THOSE EXCLAMATION MARKS MAKE ME HAPPY. Haha, thank you :)
Lizlizwontcry on May 17th, 2011 03:38 pm (UTC)
Beautiful! Like, you can just feel how heartbreaking that would be for Damon. Poor guy.
youcallitwinter: if you steal my sunshineyoucallitwinter on May 17th, 2011 04:34 pm (UTC)
I know! The worst is how he constantly has to live with this knowledge that nobody really wants him, which is just sad. [And look at the boy, he's insane, but so beautiful!] Thanks :)
Frances: TVD - Elena - determined girlgoldy_dollar on May 17th, 2011 03:42 pm (UTC)
THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING. AND ALSO WRENCHING. BUT MOSTLY AMAZING.

Instead he takes off her necklace because he’s pathetic when he’s in love.

Favourite line in a whole fic of favourites.

I love that softly_me's ficathon exists so it can bring stuff like this. XD
youcallitwinter: if you steal my sunshineyoucallitwinter on May 17th, 2011 04:38 pm (UTC)
THAT FICATHON WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME [OR MY ACADEMIC CAREER]. It's like "oh, I should research Machiavelli for my final tomorrow-- OH HEY, THAT'S AN AWESOME PROMPT."

so. screwed.

And I remember some line from Buffy; I think it was Spike who said that he's love's bitch? And I'm all- heh, you haven't met Damon Salvatore.

Thanks :D
vie_dangerouse: make my heart a better placevie_dangerouse on May 17th, 2011 04:29 pm (UTC)
This is so beautiful! I especially love this: They start over and over and over and overandoverandoverandover.

♥ to infinity for this.
youcallitwinter: if you steal my sunshineyoucallitwinter on May 17th, 2011 04:42 pm (UTC)
Totally my D/E bias coming through! I genuinely believe that even though stuff keeps happening (like he poured his heart out to Katherine in S1 finale and compelled Elena to forget his confession), it's going to keep coming up, again and again, no matter how hard they try to avoid it.

Thanks!
kausingkaynkausingkayn on May 17th, 2011 05:46 pm (UTC)
Heartbreaking.
youcallitwinter: if you steal my sunshineyoucallitwinter on May 17th, 2011 05:53 pm (UTC)
/toomuchangst. Thanks :)
Silvia Kundera: TVD-ot3-promosilviakundera on May 17th, 2011 09:04 pm (UTC)
This is so beautiful and gorgeous and fucked up like the 3 of them have to be. (Stefan always there even when he's not, like Damon's always haunting them even when he's not present)

Loved it!
youcallitwinter: if you steal my sunshineyoucallitwinter on May 18th, 2011 07:57 am (UTC)
I think that's an excellent description of their relationship; they just can't function apart, those three. It's like Stefan saved his brother and technically gave up Elena, but he's going to be there regardless, in what D/E do or don't do. Thanks! :D
unoshotunoshot on May 18th, 2011 01:29 am (UTC)
They start over and over and over and overandoverandoverandover.

I love when people play with text.

Thanks for this! It's subtle and evocative and wastes nothing. My favourite things.
youcallitwinter: if you steal my sunshineyoucallitwinter on May 18th, 2011 08:22 am (UTC)
I love wordplay, although I'm pretty sure lots of people would be 'wtf was that?' Short!fic doesn't have time for plot anyway, so you just get by however you can, haha. Thank you, I appreciate the comment <3
k_stjamesk_stjames on May 18th, 2011 02:43 am (UTC)
OMG! How depressing. . .poor Damon to come in second is horrible but to be second to someone as blah as Stefan is insulting.
youcallitwinter: if you steal my sunshineyoucallitwinter on May 18th, 2011 08:26 am (UTC)
He's always second somehow, those people obv have a lot more restraint than I do, I'd jump him instantly! Stefan in Daddy Issues completely changed my mind and now I kind of love him a lot :)
jane_wanderlustjane_wanderlust on May 18th, 2011 01:39 pm (UTC)
UM SO.
This is basically how I feel about this.
And about you in general.

yes

<3333
youcallitwinter: if you steal my sunshineyoucallitwinter on May 18th, 2011 03:36 pm (UTC)
OH MY GOD YOU'RE BACK.



I MISSED YOU <333
amo0onaghamo0onagh on May 18th, 2011 07:24 pm (UTC)
OMG, this was so beautifully written, and so heartbreaking in a good way.
Nice work, I absolutely loved it <3 =D
youcallitwinter: if you steal my sunshineyoucallitwinter on May 18th, 2011 08:01 pm (UTC)
I'm incapable of writing Damon getting what he wants, it seems. But then the show also seems incapable of writing Damon getting what he wants. Third season is such a lovely space to explore and imagine! Thanks <3
Florencia: DE (Just the Way You Are)florencia7 on May 18th, 2011 08:44 pm (UTC)
That was wonderful. So beautifully written, so poignant. Awesome fic! ♥
youcallitwinter: if you steal my sunshineyoucallitwinter on May 18th, 2011 08:50 pm (UTC)
Hi, there :D we've mostly talked over icons, I think. Haha, thank you so much!

Stupid typos, I keep making them! :(
Just a normal name: TVD - Damon/Elena arm grabrunawayxgirlx on May 19th, 2011 04:28 am (UTC)
So beautiful and heartbreaking!
youcallitwinter: if you steal my sunshineyoucallitwinter on May 19th, 2011 05:50 pm (UTC)
Haha, I need to get away from angst! Thanks :)
Аэниlaiarel on May 19th, 2011 04:00 pm (UTC)
Oh, it almost made me cry!!! So heartwrenching. Thanks for writing it)
youcallitwinter: if you steal my sunshineyoucallitwinter on May 19th, 2011 05:55 pm (UTC)
That's so sweet of you to say <3 I want D/E bonding as they try to save Stefan in S3, lol
(no subject) - laiarel on May 19th, 2011 07:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on May 19th, 2011 08:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - laiarel on May 19th, 2011 08:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on May 19th, 2011 09:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - laiarel on May 20th, 2011 06:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on May 21st, 2011 12:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - laiarel on May 21st, 2011 01:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
damon_s_86damon_s_86 on May 20th, 2011 01:54 pm (UTC)
It hurts. It hurts.. a lot.
youcallitwinter: if you steal my sunshineyoucallitwinter on May 21st, 2011 12:26 pm (UTC)
I always hand Damon the short stick, but I do love that guy to pieces!
(no subject) - damon_s_86 on May 25th, 2011 11:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on May 25th, 2011 02:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)