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25 May 2011 @ 07:41 pm
fic: love, i get so lost sometimes  

title: love, i get so lost sometimes
rating: pg-13
pairing: damon/elena. stefan/elena. post season finale.
summary: “I love Stefan.” She says automatically, like she always does, it’s a non sequitur but please, god, please don’t let him know that. [elena's pov]
a/n: companion fic to a road trip for absolution. badboy_fangirl  this is all your fault :P I just saw Say Anything for the nth time ergo the title.


1.

It’s the longest car ride in the history of the world.

She looks and pretends she isn’t looking and it’s the stupidest thing ever because he’s a freaking vampire, he can catch all of her movements half a second before she’s thought them out.

In her mind, he’s still lying down, his hair plastered over his face, dying. And every time it happens, she clenches her hands before she can do something stupid, like reach out and never let go. Like she’s five and believes that everything she can’t feel beneath her hands isn’t real, as if she’s afraid he’ll just disappear if she can’t touch him. But she won’t, doesn’t, can’t.

“Stop fidgeting, Elena,” he says, dragging her name out, “I know every time Stefan moves, your Epic Love Connection makes you carry out a corresponding movement, but Jesus, this is just distracting.”

Stefan.

And then she’s angry at herself so obviously she takes it out on him, “don’t talk about him, you jerk.”

“Yeah, the whole kissing his girlfriend thing. Buuuurn. Don’t worry about it, he’s used to it. It’s sort of our thing. It’s what we bond over.”

She almost says something then, hates him for making it sound like the sickeningly broken moments were some sort of grand farce. Then realizes he’s saying it like he started it, when she’d been the one to kiss him, and then hates him for caring so damn much. She’s overrated.

“I love Stefan.” She says automatically, like she always does, it’s a non sequitur but please, god, please don’t let him know that. And she does, she loves Stefan.

“It’s always going to be Stefan,” he completes, his tone dripping boredom “how fabulously original of you, Elena.”

She goes back to looking out the window as his mouth sets in a straight line and its uncountable miles of Damon and I love you and her sanity.

2.

She doesn’t know what she’s looking for. She just sits and pores over maps because if she doesn’t do something, she’ll lose her mind.

He looks at her sometimes, with the phone in his hand, gripped too tightly with that half smirk that sets all her nerves alight because he’s just so damn annoying, “how romantic, I’ll be sure to tell Stefan how hard you worked to find him. Maybe you’ll be rewarded with mind blowing sex. Or, let’s be realistic here, maybe a couple of free dinners at the grill.”

His eyes involuntarily slip down as he speaks and it’s odd that she’s never thought of it that way. That he wants her. That apart from the whole being in love with her thing, he wants to be inside her, sleep with her, make love to her, whatever.

She isn’t going to ask it, “could you hear us?” she’s asked it.

“Hm,” he pauses, his glance transferring from the directory to her, “hear what? Where?”

“Us,” she says again, because she’s stupid, she’s so, so stupid, “Stefan and I. In your house, when we…could you—” she stops, and tries to swallow, throat dry. What the fuck is wrong with her?

He’s in front of her faster than the speed of light and she finds she can’t look up at him, “Elena,” he says, warning, “don’t go there.”

They’re familiar, those words, in a way that’s completely unfamiliar.

I’m sorry you’re in love with me, she doesn’t say, because that’s ridiculous and pathetic and meaningless and she’s pretending she’s none of the above. Badly, but still.

3.

He’s on the bed before she’s even out of the shower, and for a moment she just stands there, and it feels like it would twenty years later, coming home to something, someone every night. Except this is Damon and the picture is just sort of messed up. Like she’s trying so hard to fit two pieces in and they don’t even belong to the same puzzle.

“We’re not sleeping together. In the same bed.” She clarifies and she shouldn’t have because that makes it sound like it was ever an option and it isn’t.

He shrugs and doesn’t look up, “whatever, the couch is all yours, darling.”

She takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly, the irritation making inroads in her skin and mingling with something else, “don’t call me darling.” Because that was so the most important part in the whole thing.

“Whatever you say,” he says, flipping through the paper, “darling”.

“We can at least try to get along,” she grits her teeth because she wants him so badly, and maybe if she just stops breathing for a while, it’ll go away, “for Stefan. You know, your brother? Who exchanged his life for yours?”

He finally looks up, “it wasn’t for me, Saint Stefan was playing the hero as per the usual,” he shrugs again, “I’ve lived long enough, it wouldn’t have mattered so much, but trust Stefan to get on his white horse and charge ahead whenever he can find the least provocation to.”

And then she’s by him, kneeling in front of the bed because he never understands, after everything, after the whole night, he still doesn’t freaking understand, “shut up, Damon.”

“Fine, he throws a disinterested glance at her position, “I won’t say anything about my saintly brother. You can martyr him all you want.”

“It would have mattered,” she says fiercely, “It would’ve mattered to me.”

He stares down at her, face carefully blank and she stares back, refusing to look away, begging her eyes to say everything she can’t with her hands, her skin, her mouth.

“Well, then it’s a good exchange for you.”

She gets up, strangely deflated, because this is how they always end, awkward and pointless, “you’re a dick.”

“Thank you,” he says, “I’m used to getting compliments on the size, but it’s a pleasure each time.”

And suddenly she’s laughing, and he’s looking at her strangely, like he can’t believe her and it only makes her laugh harder.

And then she starts to cry and wow— she’s such a mess, it’s not even funny.

He’s sighing, like he can’t believe this is what he’s been reduced to, and then she’s in the bed, in his arms and it’s just like the last time except he’s not dying and it’s not.

4.

Caroline calls every day and talks about everything and she realizes she’s jealous. Of Caroline, because she can still do this. Still be alive, even when she’s dead. And she has blood flowing through her veins and air through her lungs and it wouldn’t make a bit of a difference if she dies right now.

“You’ll find Stefan,” Caroline says, and Elena realizes with a start that she’s not even forcing the cheerfulness, she genuinely believes it. Like she believes in saving the environment and bake sales and the right dress and boys and everything. She believes in everything with the same passion, the same intensity, she never stops believing.

“I’m jealous,” she says, this one time, honestly, “of you.”

Damon’s in the shower and hopefully he can’t hear because he’s been collecting parts of her that Stefan left behind and ‘fixing’ her and one of these days she’s not going to be enough to make a whole and he’ll have too much of her for her to ever take it all back again.

Caroline laughs, and it’s bright and it reminds her of something golden, she’s glad Caroline never lost that, “is that a role reversal or what.”

“Please,” she scoffs, “what have you been jealous of. My hair? Which is beautiful, admittedly, but…”

“Gentlemen prefer blondes,” Caroline reminds her, the eternal laughter in her voice easing her heart a little. She stops for a while, like she knows it but she doesn’t know how to say it, “I’ve never been loved like you have.”

“What,” she says, startled, because of all the things she would have thought, that wasn’t it.

“Like Stefan and Damon love you,” she can almost hear Caroline shrugging, “I’ve never been loved like that. Probably won’t ever be.”

And later, when his legs tangle with hers at night, she wonders when it became Stefan and Damon.

5.

Most times he looks at her like he wants to leave her in the middle of the road and not look back and it scares the hell out of her. Because she doesn’t yet know him well enough to know if he can just walk away, and maybe he can. Maybe she’ll wake up one day and he just won’t be there. Maybe he’ll—

And then he’s kissing her feet, looking at her like he worships her, like he would die for her and she just cramps, aches inside with tenderness.

(That scares her the most).

6.

It’s beginning and middles and no ends, they start and stop and never get anywhere closer to what they’d set out for and she hates him in the mornings and she fights with him in the afternoons and they end up at bars by night, pretending like they’re normal or something.

He doesn’t let her drink. He compels the guard to let her in but he refuses to compel the bartender and sits and drinks as she looks at him, the palm of her hand itching to make contact with his skin.

“We’ve drunk before,” she argues even though it’s useless, he’s just doing this because he wants to, “with Bree that one time. And you know your tolerance is lower than mine.”

“I’m a vampire,” he says, “I was pretending. Getting a girl drunk is the first step in every seduction manual ever written and I wrote half of them.”

(He didn’t seduce her though, even when she was drunk. She’d point that out but then this’ll be something— more, and she needs it to not be that).

“You’re just being contrary.”

He grins at her and raises his glass in a mock toast, “to adulthood and licenses and finding lost lovers.”

“Fine,” she says, “be that way.”

It’s easy, much too easy, and it’s weird she’s never thought of the fact that she’s a girl.

“I’m impressed,” he drawls, as she makes her way back to him, “you almost blinded him with cleavage there, Miss Elena Gilbert. That seemed pretty practiced to me, and I should know”

She flushes, and it’s odd that they never knew this side of hers, these boys who love her. The Elena Gilbert before the deaths and blood and grief, the slightly shallow, selfish, loved creature used to getting her own way, and she misses her. She misses her so, so badly. She doesn’t want to be a better person, she just wants her parents back. And then she’s irrationally angry because Damon knows it before Stefan does and it’s not fair.

She drinks then. Pretends her mother will scold her and ground her for a month. Pretends her dad will side with her mom and then secretly buy her a bottle of wine for her sleepover— licensed anarchy under parental control, he’d say and put a finger to his lips. Pretends Matt will carry her home in his arms because she’ll pretend she’s too drunk to walk, but mostly, she just likes being cared for. And then she’s drunk.

“See,” she tries not to slur, “I can handle it, you just want to make life difficult for me. Compel the bartender next time, jerk.”

“Uh, let me think about that,” he models his expression into ‘thinking’, “no. Use your assets. You aren’t getting to use them much with Stefan gone anyway.”

And because she’s Elena Gilbert of three years ago, she dumps a glass of vodka on his head. And laughs.

“Elena,” he says getting up, and tries to hold her. She squirms out of his hands and before she’s thought it out, she got salt on her lips and his vodka-soaked skin under her tongue. She bites on his collarbone, licking the vodka off and he tastes so…his eyes, god…she’s just…they’re both—

“Elena,” he breathes her name through clenched teeth, drawing the syllables out, till each letter is twisted with want and need and revulsion and love and guilt, and oh god, what is she doing, “stop.”

She stops.

She doesn’t look at him on the way back.

He sleeps on the couch and it’s back to square one and it’s forward to square hundred and fifty seven and she’s so lost.

7.

And she’s selfish.

“I’m going out for some time,” he says and it’s so obvious, it makes her mad.

“You need to sleep around even when your brother is with the strongest vampire in the history of time, the guy who could kill him with a flick of his finger? Give the guy a medal someone.” She’s snapping and she has no right, but she’s too tired to care.

He’s in front of her then, and he does this too often. They do this too often.

“Fine,” he says, “since you’re so desperate to talk about it, let’s talk about it. Let’s go there. You don’t want me, but you can’t stand the idea of anyone else having me?”

“You’re so full of yourself,” she says, because he’s right, “it’s not always all about you.”

“So kindly tell me, what it is about Elena, because that’s just the way it looks from where I’m standing. The whole passive aggression thing is amusing, but it gets old really fast.”

She raises her eyes in provocation and he does this to her, he brings this side out and she hates him and loves him equally for it. “I’m a girl,” she says defiantly.

He raises an eyebrow. He’s calm and collected and she needs to see him break down a little like she does every day, every moments she spends with him, goddammit “I’ve noticed,” he replies dryly, "is there a point or purpose to this conversation?"

“If that’s all you want,” she’s pushing, she’s always pushing, “then I’m a girl.”

Because this is different. She’s not being pathetic. It’s sex, it’s just sex. It’s not please don’t leave me, I can’t, please, just, stay, I need, you’re, I can’t live, Damon—

She squares her shoulders to meet his sarcasm and promises herself she won’t break this time, just like every other time, won’t be the weak little seventeen year old, clutching on to the guy who loves her but doesn’t need her, won’t say she needs him, even if she wants him. "Go ahead," she takes off her necklace.

And then he’s looking at her, and he’s just as lost as she is and she’s sorry because she’s the one who put that godforsaken look in his eyes and she does this to him every single time and she doesn’t mean to. She’s so sorry.

“What do you want, Elena?” he asks, tired, defeated.

“I—” she doesn’t know. “stay. Please.” She’s pathetic.

He looks at her a long while and she’s afraid she’s said more than she means to, that she’s been trying not to so hard.

“Whatever, she wasn’t that hot, and I need to go meet Carlyle tomorrow about the killings fifty mile south.” He'll stay.

And they’re both pretending except they both know exactly what the other’s pretending so it’s kind of pointless and stupid, but mostly just sad.

8.

“Stefan loves you more than he loves me.”

She says it casually, looking at the ceiling, because it's true. It's always been true.

He turns around in the bed to look at her, he’s near enough and she’ll pretend she can feel the warmth from his body. “We’re going to find him.”

And because Damon believes it, she believes it too.

“I know”

She reaches between them and takes his hand, I'm trusting you, she doesn't say. She doesn't need to.

 
 
 
Gabby: damon elenagabby227 on May 25th, 2011 03:04 pm (UTC)
I like it! It's kinda sad, too, but I love the chemistry between these two and how they're kind of avoiding saying to each other what really needs to be said. Great job on it!
youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 25th, 2011 03:47 pm (UTC)
They are so in denial, it's not even funny! And I suppose it's crazier for Elena, because Damon at least admits it. Everybody was felling bad for Damon in other fics, so I just thought I'd even the playing field, haha
(no subject) - gabby227 on May 26th, 2011 09:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on May 27th, 2011 11:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
unoshotunoshot on May 25th, 2011 03:16 pm (UTC)
Like she believes in saving the environment and bake sales and the right dress and boys and everything. She believes in everything with the same passion, the same intensity, she never stops believing.

WE ARE THE SAME PERSON oh god I have to write something for Caroline at some point, don't I.

“It’s always going to be Stefan,” he says, his tone dripping boredom “how fabulously original of you, Elena.”

Unlike all the other stuff you've posted, I totally hate this and it didn't brighten my morning in any way with its subtle, devilishly creative angst.

youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 25th, 2011 03:50 pm (UTC)
YES, YOU DO. I'm serious, Caroline is the best person to explore, I've written her already, but I want to write SO MUCH for her. Also, if you ever write Damon/Caroline, I will forever and ever be in your debt.

I totally hate this D: haha, I suppose its angstier in Elena's head because it must be crazy trying to constantly refuse what everyone can see clearly. Damon's admitted it, but I figure Elena would be this hot mess, with no idea how to handle her feelings at all. Thank you! <3
(no subject) - unoshot on May 26th, 2011 03:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 08:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - unoshot on May 26th, 2011 03:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 03:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - unoshot on May 26th, 2011 03:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 07:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - unoshot on May 27th, 2011 12:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on May 27th, 2011 11:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - unoshot on May 27th, 2011 03:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on May 27th, 2011 04:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - unoshot on May 28th, 2011 02:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on May 29th, 2011 06:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - unoshot on May 30th, 2011 12:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on May 25th, 2011 04:04 pm (UTC)
I really liked this.

The way she feels about him, hating and wanting him all the same.. and Damon was really in character...

Could you write some more?

xoxo
youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 25th, 2011 05:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you :) I've written a lot for this fandom now, and by the way stuff's going, I'll probably write a lot more, I'm sort of obsessed D:
Bogwitchbogwitch on May 25th, 2011 08:30 pm (UTC)
That was great again!
youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 25th, 2011 08:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much again, haha :)
Jennabrokenbell on May 25th, 2011 09:38 pm (UTC)
I love your take on the Damon/Elena dynamic. I DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE THEIR HOT UST. She squirms out of his hands and before she’s thought it out, she got salt on her lips and his vodka-soaked skin under her tongue. She bites on his collarbone, licking the vodka off and he tastes so…his eyes, god…she’s just…they’re both—

When they finally make the beast with two backs I'm pretty sure my TV screen is going to melt. God I wish this show was on HBO!
youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 08:15 am (UTC)
Shakespeare reference ftw :D And I'm sure Ian would be pretty happy too considering how much he's been angling for a ménage à trois with Elena and Katherine. But I'm really hoping that S3 is all about the awkwardness and the UST!
Florencia: DE (If)florencia7 on May 25th, 2011 10:47 pm (UTC)
Your stories have to be preceded by a heart attack warning. Seriously. That was thoroughly, so thoroughly that I can hardly catch my breath, AMAZING. I feel like I'm not smart enough to read this lol

I'm in love with your style, with your insight, with your understanding of the characters, with your brilliance. I'm afraid I can't even express how much I loved this fic. You are a writer at heart because only true Writers can evoke such strong emotions, can make everything that isn't the story disappear for a while.

Beautiful story.

*adds to memories*
youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 08:21 am (UTC)
YOU ARE MUCH TOO NICE TO ME. I appreciate it so much! Haha, and of course you're "smart" enough to read it (considering I wrote it, it doesn't require much thinking out anyway, I'm like 1+1=2= meaning of life). And I'm just really glad you liked it, the thing about Damon now is that his characterization has gone for a toss- he's snarky and sarcastic but he also confesses his love and cries so I just never know what to do with him, lol. Elena, I think is a lot more crazy inside, so conflicted. And I just want them to be awkward in S3, not back-to-normal, not "together", but just really sexually tense and awkward. Thanks so much <3
felixtastic on May 26th, 2011 03:14 am (UTC)
Oh more please. Please, please. With salt and vodka on top.
youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 08:25 am (UTC)
With salt and vodka on top.

THAT MADE ME LOL SO HARD. Gratuitous scene was gratuitous. Thanks so much :D
goshgollyg: de redgoshgollyg on May 26th, 2011 03:45 am (UTC)
Fantastic! Loved the tension and chemistry between them! Great job!
youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 08:27 am (UTC)
I miss them being tense! Not like Damon's-obviously-in-love-with-you but the time when it hadn't been said. Thanks :)
k_stjamesk_stjames on May 26th, 2011 03:56 am (UTC)
Very sad and depressing and I wanted to smack Elena because she was acting like a brat and he just took it. She needed to figure out what (who) she wanted and not torture Damon just because she's miserable. Really nice job writng the tension and angst between them.
youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 08:30 am (UTC)
I know! Elena was rather bratty :D but I assume it must be incredibly awkward to kiss your boyfriend's brother because he's dying and then he's...not. She's kind of seventeen and conflicted and trying to do the right thing for Stefan, but she's so obv attracted to Damon and something's gotta give. Thanks so much :)
sassy, classy, and a bit smart-assybadboy_fangirl on May 26th, 2011 06:09 am (UTC)
I'M EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATED.

THAT IS ALL.

I don't think I've read anything, period, in this fandom that made me feel as much as this piece did. And by feel, I mean *points* look at my heart there on the floor in a million little pieces.

It's like two steps forward and one step back, or one step forward and two steps back? Yeah, the latter. That's what it's like.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

[sorry for the edits, apparently when I'm emotionally devastated, I can't type.]

Edited at 2011-05-26 06:10 am (UTC)
youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 08:38 am (UTC)
I DO NOT KNOW IF YOU'RE LYING, BUT YOU'RE DEFINITELY BEING REALLY SWEET TO ME, so thank you for that :D

The strange thing was that Damon's piece had a lot more "feelings" and Elena's piece had a lot more "I want to sleep with him", haha. I honestly want D/E from Bloodlines back, when he's the only one who can get her to have fun, I hope they show some of that in third season!

ILY, THAT IS ALL.
(no subject) - badboy_fangirl on May 26th, 2011 04:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 06:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - badboy_fangirl on May 27th, 2011 04:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
sassy, classy, and a bit smart-assy: Movie quotesbadboy_fangirl on May 26th, 2011 06:15 am (UTC)
Additional comment: Say Anything is one of my all time faves. So, in case you missed it, I am totally in love with you.

*holds boom box over head*
youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 08:40 am (UTC)
Young John Cusack has my heart. I loved him in The Sure Thing as well, that boy simply radiated charm!

AND TO THINK WE MET OVER SOME ICONS THAT WEREN'T EVEN FUNCTIONAL. Destiny, I tell you.

Melody Pond.disquietus on May 26th, 2011 07:45 am (UTC)
You should definitely write more of these because they are flawless.
youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 08:34 am (UTC)
It's not like I have any sort of restraint anyway, I just sit down to study and start typing fic, what even? But thank you so much!
jane_wanderlustjane_wanderlust on May 26th, 2011 01:14 pm (UTC)
UM OMG.

This is so fucking perfect idk how to exactly tell you.
Flawless bb.

I hate to say it but, FUCK SCHOOL AND WRITE MORE.
<3 jk....sort of.

And this?

“Stop fidgeting, Elena,” he says, dragging her name out, “I know every time Stefan moves, your Epic Love Connection makes you carry out a corresponding movement, but Jesus, this is just distracting.”

FUCK.
Your Damon is so spot on.
You should write him next season.
Y/Y?
youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 03:10 pm (UTC)
THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M DOING ACTUALLY, the university thing, I mean, just letting it handle itself while I do fandomy stuff :P

I do not want to write heartbroken Damon a lot, because he's too open and I need him badass and sarcastic or at least pretending to be that way, and that's literally ALL I want for S3, my S1 Damon back- after all he did equally bad stuff in S2 (in the Killing People dept), the diff was he just wasn't fun about it D:

LOVE AND HEARTS AND SUNSHINE, bb. Ahem.
MissDKmissdk on May 26th, 2011 02:41 pm (UTC)
How are you real?!

OMG - I ADORE this one.
It was so very spot on and you wrote it in a way to put us all in Elena's head and feel her frustration.

You had some beautifully built-up tension throughout the whole fic that really got me to feel the frustration they both feel and the longing and all the delicious angst.
Beautifully written <333

I cant wait for your next story now. I'm shamelessly greedy for more of your excellent writing xD
And you know, you could also let them give in sometime in a future fic - it wont hurt anybody. I'm just desperate for some D/E lovin' in a perfectly, beautifully written fanfic, like in your writing. *sigh*

youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 03:21 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha, I do get that a lot actually, in a lot of fandoms. I'm just REALLY bad at getting people together- firstly because none of my ships have actually ever gotten together, EVER. I mean, if I ship them and they're the most obv pair in canon, it will not happen. And then I get stumped. Like, here, I can write about their frustration but to get them together, I'd have to tackle a lot of issues- everything, like all the people he's killed, Elena and Stefan, Damon's personality as a whole, Elena's reactions to Damon and all that would require a significantly longer fic and I'm just lazy I mostly stick to shorter ones. Like, I myself can't see them getting together at this point so I'll have to write till a point where I CAN see them getting together and-- wow, I'm really weird about this, I know :P But yes, it would be amazing to explore, so I'll try doing that sometime, I need to stop being uptight about fictional characters and their issues, haha. Thank you for taking the time out to read <3
Brainzz_Insanee: Elena - Elegancebrainzz_insanee on May 26th, 2011 04:40 pm (UTC)
Soooooo good! I love that you wrote a companion fic to the Damon pov one :D You definitely captured Elena and her ever conflicting thoughts. So many great parts: when she asks Damon if he could ever hear her and Stefan, the drinking <3333, and that ending part is really beautiful...her saying "Stefan loves you more than he loves me".

and this: She squirms out of his hands and before she’s thought it out, she got salt on her lips and his vodka-soaked skin under her tongue. She bites on his collarbone, licking the vodka off and he tastes so…his eyes, god…she’s just…they’re both— (OMG so good)
youcallitwinter: but I keep them in a box under my bedyoucallitwinter on May 26th, 2011 06:52 pm (UTC)
Haha, I got a lot of “I FEEL BAD FOR DAMON”, so I decided to make people feel bad for Elena this time :D I imagine it’s crazier for her because Damon’s accepted his feelings, even if he doesn’t want to feel them, but Elena’s still solidly in denial, and I’m sure she hates the fact that she’s attracted to him. Not to mention, it must be pretty awkward that he didn’t die after the heartfelt revelations and conversations, and now Stefan’s also gone, there’s no physical barrier for them, so it has to be all in the mind. Thanks so much, I’m so glad you liked it!