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15 September 2011 @ 12:52 am
This post brought to you by lots of gratuity and bitchiness.  

IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN.

On title-- EXHIBIT A:




I totally won't be looking through my flist tomorrow because the stupid time difference sucks and I have no will-power and can never resist spoilers.

SO LAST DAY OF WHINING BEFORE THE SQUEE COMMENCES: FIC PEEVES.

I honestly don't read much fic for TVD which is surprising for me, because I'm totally a fic person; the first thing I do on watching a new show is look for fanfic. Occasionally, I watch new shows only because I have nothing to read, not even kidding.

However, TVD is…extraordinary in that respect. It has a lot of fic, but I don’t know if I’m just incredibly, horribly picky or something because very little of it seems to suit my taste. And characterization, dear god, I get that its fanfiction and that people are free to write characters however they want, but if they weren’t going to bother with characterization at all, why not just write something original instead? Or create OC’s or something?

Also, Damon/Elena gets the worst sort of fan-wank and I can’t help thinking most of it is generated because of Ian Somerhalder’s Face. The only reason the fic was written at all was because the author Elena deserves to be with Damon. Or rather Damon deserves to get what he wants because he’s pretty sad and flawless. There’s that little thing about him being an occasionally going psychotic and murdering things in sight, but he’s hot broken, so you must give him that leeway.

The Gospel According To Damon/Elena Fic Writers.

1.  Elena has always been in love with Damon. ALWAYS. TVD Canon: getting things incredibly wrong since 2009.

2. Damon is beautiful in the way that can’t be described in less than five thousand words. Also, it's awesome if he totally carries out all his sexual advances without asking first because have you seen his face? that is the mark of a real man.

3.  Damon wanders through the house naked all the time because then the author can spend the next thousand words writing an essay on his incredible figure. (Also, wow, look something canon finally got right in the third season promo.)

4. Damon and Elena will have a baby sometime in the future because they are special snowflakes and don’t have to stick to stuff like Logic. Character and development and fine words on their own, but then you put them together and they just don’t make sense anymore.

5. Damon is the kind of guy to make Epic Love Speeches every three sentences. Also, Elena totally put vervain in her tea/bathed in vervain/swallowed a fly that had been sitting on the plant in that one episode where Damon confessed his love.

6. Caroline is, like, a total slut because she slept with Damon and totally, like, asked for it. Elena would never do that. She shall resist for the next twenty words.

7. Damon calls Elena ‘kitten’ because it is sweet and romantic and exactly what the author Elena has always wished someone would call her.

8. Edward Damon has waited a hundred and eleventeen odd years to make love to someone, earlier it was just totally, like, fucking.

9. Elena is a virgin. Also, Damon and Elena will cry out each others’ names at the top of their voices while riding out their simultaneous orgasms the first time they do it. And it’s incredible and involves, like, clits and stuff.

10.  What other guy? Oh wait, yeah, there’s someone called Stephan/Stephen something, but he shall die within the next three hundred words so don’t get too attached.

Also, what I always find incredibly annoying in fic is when the third party in a ‘triangle’ or whatever is vilified to make the ship seem more legitimate (like Elena in Damon/Caroline fics, Stefan in Damon/Elena fics, etc, etc). I think that’s just incredibly stupid because all it serves to do is to make it seem as if the ship can’t possibly happen unless the third party is evil/bitchy/whatever. That’s just reducing the impact of your own ship.

Also, anachronistic references/language in period fics or someone attempting to write Elijah and saying “you’re so cute”. WTF, NO.

Basically, I’m a bitch. But, seriously, are we even watching the same thing?

SO, LAST DAY GIFSPAM.



DO THEY GIVE OUT NOBEL PRIZES FOR CUTENESS YET? ELENA, MY GOD.



HE'S NOT SAD, HE'S FREAKING HUNGRY #epicstuff



Okay, looking at him, it's honestly hard to blame the fic writers after all. BRB, WRITING AN ODE TO DAMON SALVATORE'S FACE.



MY GIRL'S A SURVIVOR, BITCHES. Also, incredibly gorgeous. 



BE THIS DYSFUNCTIONAL AND CODEPENDENT AND ANGSTY FOR-FUCKING-EVER, JUST.



Why I will go down with this ship. #end

/see you at the other side of the premiere! 
 
 
 
Azmiri Sultana Mridulmridul777 on September 14th, 2011 07:33 pm (UTC)
Damon calls Elena ‘kitten’ because it is sweet and romantic and exactly what the author Elena has always wished someone would call her

This "kitten" thing. That makes me do a complete 180 each time I spot it on a fic. WHY KITTEN?

The Gospel According To Damon/Elena Fic Writers.

THIS. should be laminated and provided as a guidebook handout to every author before they are attempting to write a fic. Good thinking! ;)

youcallitwinteryoucallitwinter on September 14th, 2011 07:37 pm (UTC)
I KNOW, RIGHT? LIKE WHO EVEN CAME UP WITH THAT?

I can totally imagine Damon going:



Haha, Damon/Elena fic fandom is something I tend to stay out of unless I know/have been recced an author. WAY TOO MUCH CRAZY OUT THERE!
(no subject) - mridul777 on September 14th, 2011 07:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 14th, 2011 07:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
eenaangel: Friends!eenaangel on September 14th, 2011 07:43 pm (UTC)
ALL OF THIS AND SO MUCH MORE!!!!!!!!!!


It really sucks to gear up to read a fic and find that certain characters have been dropped on their heads and/or have been replaced by their evil twin (and not just Katherine, but like an eviller and bitchier twin so HATES everyone and is completely selfish and whiny).


And you're not being bitchy-you're being right. There's a difference :)
youcallitwinter: tonight i think i'll walk aloneyoucallitwinter on September 14th, 2011 07:51 pm (UTC)
I DON'T EVEN GET IT. It's like someone just thought up a plot (if that) and added the names Elena and Damon to it, and it wouldn't make a whit of difference if they were called Corlosfunt and Gabrielten instead. And actors being insanely hot makes for a lot more gratuitous smut!fic than would exists in a normal fandom, I've noticed.

And you're not being bitchy-you're being right.

Haha, well, easy for you to say, you're incredible with characterization and your Caroline makes me go <3_____<3
(no subject) - eenaangel on September 15th, 2011 05:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 12:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
goldenusagigoldenusagi on September 14th, 2011 07:43 pm (UTC)
Maybe I'm incredibly picky, too. Wait, I know I am. I should still be able to find something though. Right? And do no get me started on the woeful lack of in character Elijah, or, well, Elijah, period. Why is there not more Elijah fic?

But I decided to dip my toe into the world of reading TVD fic, and...I didn't find much? Maybe I need to look more? I went looking for Damon/Elena fic, specifically the kind of fic that I like to read, which is long, plotty, getting together fic. One shots are fine later, but when I start with a new fandom, the first thing I want is long, plotty, getting together fic. But I mostly found a bunch of AUs where they're rock stars? Am I just missing the canon long fic?

what I always find incredibly annoying in fic is when the third party in a ‘triangle’ or whatever is vilified to make the ship seem more legitimate

So much this, too. Character assassination is a major turnoff.
youcallitwinter: youcallitwinter on September 14th, 2011 08:03 pm (UTC)
THE FANDOM SHOULD BE BANNED FROM TOUCHING ELIJAH'S FLAWLESSNESS BASICALLY. But seriously, nothing annoys me so much as badly written Elijah, I don't even know why. And people have him saying all the cutesy stuff to Caroline or Elena and I'm all UGH, NO, STOP. I think we might even be grateful there's not more Elijah fic.

But I mostly found a bunch of AUs where they're rock stars?

HAHAHAHA, I KNOW, RIGHT? Actually there are some incredible AU's (which I haven't read because I rarely read AU's but have tried a bit) but most of them are just word-to-word copies of Mills and Boons, not even kidding. Like, I get WHY you would imagine Damon as the Greek business tycoon in His Virgin Mistress or whatever (obv his face), but seriously?

Character assassination is the worst and makes me stop reading fic immediately.
Pied: [tvd] get in the carwheatear on September 14th, 2011 07:48 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, have you been reading Damon/Elena fic? I knew there was a reason I avoided most of that.
youcallitwinter: someday this'll be a story.youcallitwinter on September 14th, 2011 07:54 pm (UTC)
Haha, I've not been reading it as in present-tense reading it, but I ship it so hard that I couldn't help myself, and OMG, NOT GOING THERE AGAIN. Although, it's AMAZING for the lulz. CONFLICT, I TELL YOU. Also, this post salutes you for being a freaking awesome characterizer *nods*
(no subject) - wheatear on September 14th, 2011 07:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 14th, 2011 08:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - wheatear on September 14th, 2011 08:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 12:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - wheatear on September 15th, 2011 05:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
sassy, classy, and a bit smart-assy: TVD: DE OTPbadboy_fangirl on September 14th, 2011 08:42 pm (UTC)
*claps*

I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO READ MY BABY!FIC (ASSUMING YOU'LL GIVE ME YOUR TIME FOR 50,000 WORDS) AND SEE THE LEGIT WAY I MADE IT HAPPEN!

Or maybe this list is everything that's wrong with my fic? Only time will tell *g*

Although, I didn't make Elena a virgin. In fact I even reference that she slept with Matt BEFORE Stefan BEFORE Damon. But Damon was by far the best, obvs.
Arabian: Elena06arabian on September 14th, 2011 09:33 pm (UTC)
Obviously.

As if it would be any other way.

And, duh, OF COURSE she slept with Matt before Stefan. If Stefan was her first, we so would have known about it from Caroline mentioning it, if nothing else!

How anyone can claim Elena is a virgin in canon is just -- no words.

Edited at 2011-09-14 09:33 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 12:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Francesgoldy_dollar on September 14th, 2011 08:47 pm (UTC)
I LOVE YOUR POSTS.

LOL @ ALL OF THIS. Shockingly I do not read much D/E fic (UNLESS IT IS WRITTEN BY YOU) but lol forever @ kitten. I wish I had some tales of bad S/E fic to share in return but the sad truth is that so few people write S/E fic that I thus have comparatively few horror stories to share. PEOPLE NEED TO WRITE ME MORE BAD S/E FIC CLEARLY. /whine whine whine
youcallitwinter: and I'm here to get it back from youyoucallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 12:23 pm (UTC)
MY POSTS LOVE YOU BACK. <333

Hahaha, you just saved yourself a major head hurting thingamajig by never venturing into D/E fic. But occasionally you should, the Harlequin feel of all of them is epic. I was actually going to add vilification of Damon by S/E writers in the examples, but then I just realized that they don't vilify him, they just present him devoid of all romaticization, as a psychopath, WHICH Y'KNOW, TRUE, so I couldn't give that example, heh.

BUT EVERY FANDOM AND SHIP SHOULD HAVE BAD!FIC /lulzzz
Arabian: Damon&Alaric02arabian on September 14th, 2011 09:32 pm (UTC)
Yes. TO ALL OF THE ABOVE!

I don't know why there is so little GREAT fic in this fandom. There are a handful of stories that I enjoy, but not one single outstanding fic.

It makes me sad because THERE IS SO MUCH TO WORK WITH HERE!!

(How the heck does a complete NON-couple on a nerdy sitcom have loads and loads and LOADS of some of the most gorgeous fic written, and Damon/Elena just so. do. not?!?!? I do not understand this.)
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 12:28 pm (UTC)
YOUR ICON IS RELEVANT TO THE POST.

Oh, I know! I find it so odd because usually when there's so much fic for a fandom, there's usually a lot of crap but also some epic stuff and tvd? Not so much. In fact the best fic I ever read in this fandom was a slightly AU Damon/Caroline and possibly the only fic the author's written. But it was amazing in terms of plot and characterization (especially Damon who was so, so in-character, that it was incredible!)

Hahaha, omg, omg Sheldon/Penny! I know, I've been so spoiled in my earlier fandoms; even a Disney incest ship had the most brilliant stuff I've read online and almost every second fic was close to amazing, so now it's a bit of a fandom equivalent of a culture shock, heh. I think Damon as a character is EXTREMELY hard to get right, and that's where most fics falter :s
(no subject) - arabian on September 15th, 2011 09:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 16th, 2011 12:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
chosenfire28: Vampire Diaries - Elena & Jeremychosenfire28 on September 14th, 2011 10:51 pm (UTC)
I hate Damon/Elena, I am dreading seeing it on the show, mostly because the views in the fics you wrote about are the general views of the fandom, their like Edward/Bella 2.0 in their cray cray (the fandom).

It shows no respect to the others and their other connections, I think I could honestly just read gen fic for this fandom and be happy (although the majority of fic I read for this fandom tends to be Jeremy/Tyler, Jeremy/Damon, Damon/Stefan/Elena, or Damon/Stefan).

I hope authors start to branch out into different pairings (I would love to see Caroline/Elena, or Caroline/Tyler/Jeremy)
youcallitwinter: tonight i think i'll walk aloneyoucallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 12:31 pm (UTC)
Haha, can't deny that a lot of fandom does seem to look at them that way, but then I've met amazing people who understand both characters and can write them in an incredibly realistic way! I'm waiting to see how season three projects it on-screen, because I've noticed that although the promos are very audience-centric and tell them what they want to see (D/E in this case), but the actual show always turns out WAY different!

GEN FIC, FTW. This fandom genuinely has some of the absolute best gen fic I've ever read <333 There should be more of it! So much potential, 1864 onwards for the Salvatores and pre!Salvatore Mystic Falls!
crowandfogcrowandfog on September 14th, 2011 11:03 pm (UTC)
Remember what I said about loving you more with each post?...IT CONTINUES!

I ALWAYS look for fanfiction when I fall in love with a new show. It's just automatic. But, even though TVD is what introduced me to the wonders of fandom in the first place, I rarely read TVD fanfiction anymore unless it's Damon/Caroline or written by an author I simply cannot refuse. While I agree with all of your comments on D/E fic, I think the main reason I don't read is that I'm mostly satisfied with what I'm seeing on the show. I feel like D/E is inevitable, so I'm just enjoying the ride and I don't need fic to make me happy. Usually I read fic because it gives me something that I feel like I can't get from canon--hence my love for D/C fic. Usually, I read of lot of fanfiction for shows that have been cancelled (because I miss the characters) or for pairings that aren't happening in canon (or, at least, aren't happening to my satisfaction).
youcallitwinter: someday this'll be a story.youcallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 12:39 pm (UTC)
THIS LOVE IS VERY MUCH DOUBLE-SIDED (...or the technical term for it that makes it sound less like cellotape, heh)

DAMON/CAROLINE FIC FTW. Although there's also a lot of bad stuff for that ship, I especially can't stand it when Damon's suddenly in love with Caroline or Elena turns into a total bitch and is constantly trying to best Caroline or Damon hates Elena out of nowhere. There's so much potential for this couple, that I dislike it when it turns out that the history and conflict (which is the most interesting part) is completely eliminated D: As for D/E, I really wish I'd gotten in the fandom in the first season because I'm pretty sure that the fic that came up at that time was awesome, since their chemistry was undeniable but the attraction was unacknowledged!

That's interesting! Maybe it's because none of my ships have EVER been canon yet that I rely on fic so much, never thought of it that way! :D
waltzmatildah: tvd: damon is a precious humanwaltzmatildah on September 14th, 2011 11:57 pm (UTC)
I agree with you... and I don't. Which makes no sense but, whatever!

I agree with you because you're totally right about everything you have above, and, to be honest, I've actually posted in the past about how the majority of the TVD fic-landscape is something of a cesspool (there's literally about three TVD authors that I read... and you know you're one of them so... yeah. There's that!).

I don't agree because, well, it's fanfic and people are allowed to write whatever they wanna write (hello Damon/Bonnie fic writers!) and there are no rules stating that they must stick to canon or cater to your tastes as a reader and such. So, for example, if someone wants to have Damon calling Elena a kitten then they're perfectly within their rights to do so, and you're perfectly within your rights not to read it.

I think complaining about people having their own opinions, wants, desires and likes and then expressing them in fanfic (which, let's be honest, is typically always about ret-conning something canon gave us!) is kinda... redundant?

But I get where you're coming from. I just don't really see the point in getting fired up about it because it's been happening since the dawn of time fanfic, and will continue to do so long after we're too old to be doing this!

There's enough things in this show to be eye-rolling over, don't be letting the fic become another one!! It's bad for your cholesterol levels.

Or something...!

but do not get me started on baby!fic, m'kay?!

Also, HI! IT'S BEEN TOOOOOO LONG SINCE I TEASED YOU MERCILESSLY ABOUT SOMETHING SPORTING RELATED! MUST RECTIFY!
youcallitwinter: broadway's got you in its hold right nowyoucallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 01:01 pm (UTC)
AND SINCE YOU DO NOT HAVE YOUR OWN AWESOME WORK TO READ, IT'S AN EVEN SHORTER LIST, OUCH.

I get that, of course, and which is why I still think it's a bit funny instead of just plain annoying. However, if they're allowed to write crap, I'm allowed to trash it, considering it's my personal journal and stuff. Like, I would obviously never go up to the author and say "STOP WRITING" (also, when it's some particularly young audience, you know they're going to be much better later, I still can't even look at my old stuff and most of my current stuff). But when you've been searching for fic for AGES and you come across the same stuff over and over and OVER, it just does something to your head, heh.

Fanfic IS about your own interpretation of canon, but I'm just complaining because I don't agree with that interpretation at all and I have a right to complain, esp on a non-public forum, HELL, I EVEN COMPLAIN ABOUT CANON ALL THE TIME, even though it's going to make no difference whatsoever.

I suppose fanfic complaints have existed since bad!fic has, so it's a totally relational thing by now, haha.

DON'T TEASE ME ABOUT ANYTHING SPORTING RELATED, I STILL HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN OVER OUR FALL FROM THE TOP OF THE TEST TABLE INTO OBSCURITY. WHYYYYYY?! AND WE'VE BEEN LOSING MATCHES RIGHT, LEFT AND CENTER. Wtf, it's like the World Cup win was jinxed. JINXED, I TELL YOU.
(no subject) - waltzmatildah on September 15th, 2011 01:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 05:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - waltzmatildah on September 15th, 2011 11:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 16th, 2011 12:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
youcallitwinter: youcallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 12:41 pm (UTC)
THIS IS TRUE, character assault is the worst and makes me stop enjoying the fic immediately, and rather tends to annoy me. 'Kitten' on the other hand is more lulzy and *headdesky*, haha
(no subject) - badboy_fangirl on September 15th, 2011 03:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 05:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - badboy_fangirl on September 15th, 2011 07:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 16th, 2011 12:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
ambassador of kwan: Diaries→ [first taste]abvj on September 15th, 2011 01:19 am (UTC)
TVD fic is, like, the absolute worst. I have a lot of problems with this fandom as a whole, but that's the most important because I love reading and writing fic, but damn there is hardly ever anything worth reading outside of my lovely flist.
youcallitwinter: to better counter-act his charm attackyoucallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 12:44 pm (UTC)
OMG, I have so many issues with this fandom, it's not even funny. You should totally make an unpopular opinions post, I'd love to read what you really think, and the fic just makes me *facepalm* mostly. BUT I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR. Idk, I think I'm just lucky that my friends are those 5% amazing writers in this fandom, heh
Violet: vampires - one of these days.amoenavi on September 15th, 2011 02:57 am (UTC)
Um, that last gif is actually my favorite Damon/Elena moment EVER. LIKE EVER.
youcallitwinter: be your teenage dream tonightyoucallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 12:45 pm (UTC)
That last gif is actually MY favorite Damon/Elena moment EVER. LIKE EVER. See, I knew there was a reason I loved you.
ever_neutralever_neutral on September 15th, 2011 03:17 am (UTC)
lolol YOU KNOW I WOULD LOVE THIS POST.

See, this is the fucking problem with HUMUNGOUS ships like D/E. THE BIGGER THE FANDOM, THE MORE CRAP TO BE FOUND.

Clearly, the solution is for us all here IN THIS BAR to write more quality D/E fic. You should host a ficathon or something. NON-RUBBISH WRITERS ONLY, PLS. lawwwwl.

Okay, looking at him, it's honestly hard to blame the fic writers after all. BRB, WRITING AN ODE TO DAMON SALVATORE'S FACE.

lmfao. Fair.
waltzmatildah: tvd: katherine has wavy hairwaltzmatildah on September 15th, 2011 04:38 am (UTC)
You should host a ficathon or something. NON-RUBBISH WRITERS ONLY, PLS. lawwwwl.

Butting in here to say... that this actually used to happen in the Grey's Anatomy fandom when it was much bigger than it is now. There was a comm devoted to the better(?) writers. And it seemed to work (though was mostly before my time so I can't say this as someone who actively participated). There was an application/nomination process and while it seems a bit (lot?!) wanky, it existed for a fair while (until fandom shrunk to the size of a pinhead that is...).

So, yeah. Not unheard of!

(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 05:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - waltzmatildah on September 17th, 2011 12:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 12:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ever_neutral on September 15th, 2011 01:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 05:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ever_neutral on September 16th, 2011 12:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 16th, 2011 12:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
brightstarmarabrightstarmara on September 15th, 2011 10:47 am (UTC)
And it’s incredible and involves, like, clits and stuff. I may or may not have just peeeeeeeeeddddd!
youcallitwinter: be your teenage dream tonightyoucallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 12:53 pm (UTC)
IKR? But seriously, what really cracks me up is when someone refers to it as 'her jewel'. Hahahahaha, NO.
(no subject) - brightstarmara on September 15th, 2011 01:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youcallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 04:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - brightstarmara on September 15th, 2011 04:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
HEY! - brightstarmara on September 15th, 2011 04:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: HEY! - youcallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 04:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: HEY! - brightstarmara on September 15th, 2011 05:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: HEY! - youcallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 05:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: HEY! - brightstarmara on September 15th, 2011 05:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: HEY! - youcallitwinter on September 15th, 2011 05:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: HEY! - brightstarmara on September 15th, 2011 05:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)