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18 November 2011 @ 12:11 am
fic: forget the silver screen  



title: 
forget the silver screen
rating: hard r
pairing: caroline/damon, caroline/her issues
warnings: dub-con, first season
a/n: written for the caroline forbes comment ficathon.
disclaimer: disclaimed.
eenaangel's prompt: I best tidy up my head, I'm the only one in love.

Tonight will be different, she decides.

“Not on the neck”, she’ll tell him when he leans down. Try and keep her sanity a little while longer.

“But that’s my favorite place,” he’ll pout, the corner of his lips turning down in a way that will remind her he’s more boy than man. But he’s more monster than boy. Most times she’s never sure which.

“I know,” she’ll soothe him, the terror making inroads through her veins, mixing with the arousal. The smell of blood always makes her a little wet, or maybe it’s the other way round. Maybe there’s always a copper tang in the air when she’s wet. Most times, she’s never sure which, “but it’s hard to hide. I can’t wear those hideous scarves throughout summer. I have a reputation to keep, you know.”

Sometimes, when she thinks about it, she thinks she’s that high school girl from her books. The one sad enough to be dating the older guy who’s only with her because she’s a good fuck. She is a good fuck. He’s probably had better though. So she’s mostly just a metaphor that gives average blow-jobs.

“So where then?” his eyes will gleam, the monster in him (or maybe it’s the boy in him this time) sated with just the thought of marking another part of her body, claiming another inch of her soul skin. 

She’ll feel a slight pang of something like regret, because she’s never been as beautiful as Elena, and now, she’ll never be as beautiful as Elena. ‘Damaged goods’, her English teacher would say, talking about some story written a long time ago, 'damaged goods, they called her in the streets'. He probably lived in that story, a long time ago. Maybe he still lives in that story somewhere, she thinks occasionally, when she’s completing her English assignments and can afford to be poetic. 

(Katherine, he whispers sometimes, his hair plastered to his face, his cock still inside her, Katherine. She must have been some kind of a goddess in his time, Caroline decides, his reverence mingling with the sweat on her skin. An old goddess, with statues and worshippers to her name. Katherine. It’s a pretty name).

“Here,” she’ll say provocatively, opening herself to him, touching her inner thigh, hoping he doesn’t see her hand shake. “Here,” she’ll say again, make it something it’s not, won’t mention it’s the one place no one has seen, will see. She'll trace the skin with her finger, move a thumb to her clit, act like she knows what she's doing. Like she didn't learn it from a porn movie that Tyler secretly made them all watch in the Lockwood mansion once. She's damned if she'll let anyone else see the scars.

“Well, aren’t you the kinky one.” he’ll smile. Or something. Whatever the upward turn of his lip signifies on his face. She’s never very sure, "you weren't made for this one-horse town, sweet Caroline". Her daddy used to call her that, used to sing that song sometimes. She never wants to be called that again.

He’ll look at her, and she’ll look down, avoid his eyes, keep her thoughts hers for just a little while longer. Don't look too deep into those angel eyes, the record will blast. Don't mistake coincidence for fate, LOST taught her.

“Haven’t I proven it yet?” she’ll fan her hair like that, bite her lip just so. Borrow words from books she’s half read, from movies she’s missed the beginning of, make it sound like they’re hers, “my bad.”

“You want to make it up to me?” he’ll lie back, arms crossed against her headrest; cock straining, eyes hard. He’s achingly beautiful. 

She’ll slither down then, touch her tongue to his cock. Lose her innocence in front of her stuffed toys, her princess desk, her history homework, her childhood blanket, “is this sufficient repentance, Mr. Salvatore.”

His breath will shorten a little, she’ll feel something akin to triumph, something akin to loss (she’s never sure which), “well, if it’s the best you got Miss Forbes...”

She’ll lave him with her tongue, probably get it wrong, probably won’t compare to the women through the years, “you’re a hard task-master.”

He’ll look at her then, smirk, “you ain’t seen nothing, love.”

Don’t say that, she won’t say, don’t fucking say that, you bastard.

She’ll make him come with her tongue and teeth, swallow because she wants to, swallow because he wants her to (sometimes she’s not sure which). The sound at the back of his throat will stay with her all night. I fucking hate you, she won’t say. You’re beautiful when you come, she won’t say. 

He’ll pull her up then, flip her around at a speed her mind won’t register, make her beg, touch her in places she blushed about a year ago. 

“You’re beautiful when you come,” he’ll whisper against her skin. Breathe hard, when he doesn't need to breathe at all.

She’ll turn her head away then; keep her sanity just a little while longer.

(Maybe tomorrow, she’ll run, hide, scream. Tonight, she'll stay. "Not on the neck", she'll tell him).
 
 
 
a girl like that: damon salvatorecassiehayes on November 19th, 2011 02:56 pm (UTC)
Sometimes it's really funny, but mostly his ~intense look is just right. :D

Mhmmmmmm he really does, although LOL, speaking of funny, THE LITTLE GRIN HE MAKES AFTER APOLOGIZING TO ALARIC IN GHOST WORLD. I don't even understand how Ian twists his face so ridiculously, I've gone back and paused just to show people because it just looks so weirdly funny, what even.

I love how pre-compulsion Caroline engages in no apologism whatsoever, she knows the stakes and she's smart enough to try and get out of a horrifically unhealthy relationship. Cue, compulsion /sigh

Ugh, YES, this so much, I think even from the get-go, their initial interaction says a lot, she didn't just ~swoon for his charm, she was all "Cocky much?" and oh I love you, Caroline.

And S1 CAROLINE WAS SO AMAZING. I'm really not a fan of the wide distinction at all, because while I think it's justified to a certain extent, it means a lot of people just kinda gloss over human!Caroline, and that's the worst. Especially when they say things about how "she gets all the best lines now!" and it's like UM, CAROLINE HAS HAD THE BEST LINES SINCE THE BEGINNING (except maybe Damon, lol) WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? "Girl likes boy. Boy likes girl. Sex!" and the one you just pointed out, YES, "Listen dungeon boy...", or "I'm worse than shallow, I'm a kiddie pool!" (although D:), and of course "So what, is this like a threesome now? You and the Salvatore brothers?"

S1 CAROLINE GETS ALL THE AWARDS.
youcallitwinter: you won't be seventeen foreveryoucallitwinter on November 19th, 2011 09:52 pm (UTC)
YOU HAVE SUCH PRETTY ICONS.

LOL, speaking of funny, THE LITTLE GRIN HE MAKES AFTER APOLOGIZING TO ALARIC IN GHOST WORLD. I don't even understand how Ian twists his face so ridiculously

Oh, god, I know, right? IT IS SO UTTERLY, ADORABLY RIDICULOUS. I was seriously all lolwut at it. But the best is that it's his flirty-smile-thing and he's so obviously trying to literally ~seduce Alaric into being friends with him again. LOLOLOL. Ian has a host of these diva-esque expressions and I think it might be why I love Damon so much; he's so NOT a romantic hero. He's gorgeous as all hell, but then he has these expressions and is OCD about cleaning and loves Gone With The Wind and it's all equally adorable and ridiculous, heh.

she didn't just ~swoon for his charm, she was all "Cocky much?" and oh I love you, Caroline.

YES. And the only reason she ~went for his at all was because she was having esteem issues and he was the first guy who looked at her in that time, so. Nothing to do with him. MY BB. <3

YES TO ALL YOUR THOUGHTS. I love S1 Caroline with all her insecurities and bitchiness and spectacular ability to always say the wrong thing; I think it's amazing how real she was as a character. She got no sympathy from fandom because she was so abrasive and had jealousy issues and everything; but those are the EXACT reasons I loved her so much. I shall always miss the potential that was human!Caroline, although she is such a bamf as a vampire that we can't even complain!
a girl like that: dc2cassiehayes on November 20th, 2011 03:08 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha, thank you! Can't claim any credit for the blue one though, snagged from emily_reich buuut the first is mine :)

But the best is that it's his flirty-smile-thing and he's so obviously trying to literally ~seduce Alaric into being friends with him again.

LOL, THIS SO MUCH. Oh Damon, how do you even. And I totally agree about the not-a-romantic-hero thing, and I love that he is way too ridiculous and nitpicky and makes funny faces, hee.

And the only reason she ~went for his at all was because she was having esteem issues and he was the first guy who looked at her in that time, so. Nothing to do with him.

YES. And I think that this is what interested me the most about the early dynamic in some ways, is that the show didn't romanticize it, the show didn't have Caroline as falling head over heels for the dangerous vampire even though he feeds on her! No, Caroline wanted nothing to do with it, Caroline tried to run away, Caroline threw a lamp at him, Caroline was sassy and snarky and so resilient to being pushed around that it only happened when he compelled her. She became entrapped in the relationship but for her, it was about one-upping Elena, it was about the fact that a guy was showing interest in her when she was feeling insecure, but it was never about her falling for Damon.

She got no sympathy from fandom because she was so abrasive and had jealousy issues and everything; but those are the EXACT reasons I loved her so much.

YES TO THIS AND EVERYTHING. Caroline was by far one of the most real characters, IMO, and it seemed like people either loved or hated her for exactly that reason :/ And I completely agree about missing the potential she could have had as a human but not complaining because she IS such a freaking bamf as a vampire, and she did get over some of her insecurities, and even though I loved her for having them originally, I still love that she got over them because of course I want her to grow. And I think that was probably the most rambly roundabout thought ever, but I hope it makes sense, lol.